my entire life i have gotten in trouble over and over for talking about violence with people and i don’t really know why this has been a consistent problem maybe being autistic.
part of why i left girl scouts as a kid was because the other girls were uncomfortable with me talking about death all the time. as a young teen people did not like me because i would talk about violence or cannibalism unprompted, i also had gotten in trouble for not showing pity (but also not trying to be directly mean) when someone was talking about a tragedy near them. i’ve upset family members by trying to show them media i was interested in because it was very dark or scary. a more recent example was me telling stories about when i was genuinely homicidal and being confused why nobody found it as funny as i did. i believe the conversation was about mental health struggles? but i don’t remember.
this was said to me while i was around 14 which makes sense. i’m just pondering about reasons i am so disliked lately which may or may not be good for me
i’m not trying to be edgy like “oh i’m so evil i talk about people dying all the time” this is just a genuine struggle. i was not phased by death or loss very much throughout my life so i guess maybe it’s just something that people don’t like to hear that simply doesn’t click in my head