Games, games, games!

i had a dream i was about to engage in cannibalism (which is on my irl bucket list and honestly saddens me sometimes at how difficult it is to achieve hygienically or legally) on an inhabited planet in a different galaxy and i was sitting at the feast table waiting for the roast human to be brought out (i think it was obtained from warriors defeated in space gladiator combat??) but then i got really anxious that i was appropriating this planet's culture by engaging in a local cannibal feast that many locals probably couldn't afford and i spent so much time dissecting whether this was compatible with my socialeconomic value that the human meat went cold and i woke up

lowkey i just killed all innocents

notice how no one died

minor nuisance about being an atheist is when you or a loved one is sick, you can't say "keep us in your prayers." maybe "keep us in your thoughts" is better but it has a major meh factor. the best i can come up with is "KEEP OUR MISERIES IN MIND"

Vaguely irate, faintly nauseous, and ambiguously uncomfortable in a way where you can function and act normal, even though you'd much rather be face down on the ground doing the worm while shrieking like a banshee in a rock tumbler.

Typical Monday in August

It started raining like a punctured bladder almost immediately after, to my instant relief. No idea what I'm going to do with this information since I don't control the weather, but I guess that's what helps sometimes.

hate when people say something along the lines of "we must get along so well because you are/i am [some astrological sign]" to me. what are you fucking talking about. we get along because im fucking nice. a decision which i regret when you say shit like that

this post is a good rent lowering gunshot. in case anyone needs one of those

If heaven is real but the person who first thought of putting lemon juice on salmon isn't there, then heaven isn't real.

"dni if you engage with irredeemable media! dni to kill a mockingbird stans" ok well CLEARLY you have never read to kill a mockingbird if you think it's irredeemable media and also having a book that was published in 1960 on your dni stan list is kinda ridiculous actually

i literally do not think any of you have ever read a book published before the 2000s before in your entire life

#'Dni if you've read to kill a mockingbird' what's is this the Florida banned books list #Who r u Ron DeSantis

You really buried the lede by only mentioning To Kill a Mockingbird

Undertale?? THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS???

WHAT

I don't know how I can possibly be clearer about the magic school bus salmon sex scene.

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

been a rough couple days, gimme a compliment and also a fucked up animal fact please n thnx?

straight white people making a romance movie: haha what if it was illegal to have sex? wait what's lawrence v texas. wait what's mclaughlin v florida. wait what's loving v virginia