nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

i feel like tumblr users are the only ones who don’t use ai. everyone else would fuck chatgpt if they could

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

Back to what I was gonna say. Happy independence day. Regardless of who the current occupant of the white house is, the ideals the founders built this country on are worth fighting for, America's best quality is the ability to always do better, and here's to another 250 years of trying to build a more perfect union.

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half

would you love us if we were twin gods

Anyway, supergirl was good and I really enjoyed it 😊

I refuse to concede America and what it can be and what we still have.

idk i just feel like "it is more acceptable and in fact encouraged to mock anything enjoyed primarily by women" and "being enjoyed primarily by women does not make thing feminist and righteous" are thoughts that can and should coexist

oh and also "even if the thing is bad your criticism of it can come from a place of patronising misogyny"

oh fuck i just contracted an std from having sex with a mythical half-woman half-bird

genital harpies

The Magnanimous Airplane

well, the ears dropped