l'enfant terrible

Did you miss the memo or something? The party is being held by Patrick Clark. He’s not just Harwich’s King because he’s good looking.

I wouldn't take the 'monarchy' too seriously if I were you. There's a reason why we don't have that here in America, you know.

I do when I have nothing else planned on Halloween. But I usually just volunteer to grocery shop candies for her. 

I’d be puzzled if you could.

I’m more worried about which candies to buy for trick or treat, to be honest. Kids are getting grumpier every year for receiving lame candies from my mom.

...you help your mom with trick-or-treating?

People shouldn’t be worrying about costumes, full stop. They already look like freaks, anyway.

I can't disagree with that.

That depends on whether you like parties or not.

I've never met anyone who doesn't.

Well… yes. But that just means that I like parties. So I’m one of those teenagers you just mentioned.

Of course. Aren't we all?

I’m obviously not the right person to be talking to about this kind of thing.

Really? Above anything, everyone's got you pegged as the authority figure around here. You're the guy, aren't you?

Most Halloween parties won’t let you in without a costume. Mine won’t, anyway. Besides, guests aren’t the ones to worry about DJs.

Well, you know how parties are. Meticulous teenagers are in every corner.