Max Blunder❗❗❗

So I've been a bit more into the TSHD fandom space these last few days (that includes gacha reaction vids pls don't judge me 😭🙏), and I have an iggle piggle bone to pick with the way Yoshiki is depicted/which parts of his character are highlighted...

To put it simply, I think people tend to put too much emphasis on the 'Hikaru' stuff. Like- I get it, it's a huge part of Yoshiki's character, but there's so much more to him :(

For example: the scene where Yoshiki stabs 'Hikaru'. Now, this whole episode (I haven't read the manga, just watched the anime: I do intend on buying the manga tho) was a doozy, but the focus, I find, is always pinned on the stabbing, and not the subtext of the episode - or what I believe the subtext to be. I mean, Yoshiki literally asks 'Hikaru' to kill him... Like... My bros, how are we focusing on 'Hikaru's' part of the episode when Yoshiki is being like this? I seriously believe that if 'Hikaru' had died to the stab, Yoshiki would've gone to off himself afterwards. And I don't see this mentioned much in the fandom space? Maybe I'm just not interacting with the right parts? I dunno, but that's not even the only thing 😭

There's Yoshiki's internalised homophobia, his grief, his family and religion issues, and his mental health even before Hikaru went up to the mountains. Maybe I just like Yoshiki a little too much... I'm also autistic (diagnosed), so idk...

This sideblog was made after the anime's broadcast ended, for various reasons, but a cursory search for posts without manga spoilers brings up this post and this other one about the murder-suicide attempt. There's also this lengthy post regarding the story's homophobia that I have been meaning to update with current manga events (and it already mentions one thing that's yet to happen in the anime), but I haven't had the energy for. There's also this one about grief.

So I've been a bit more into the TSHD fandom space these last few days (that includes gacha reaction vids pls don't judge me 😭🙏), and I have an iggle piggle bone to pick with the way Yoshiki is depicted/which parts of his character are highlighted...

To put it simply, I think people tend to put too much emphasis on the 'Hikaru' stuff. Like- I get it, it's a huge part of Yoshiki's character, but there's so much more to him :(

For example: the scene where Yoshiki stabs 'Hikaru'. Now, this whole episode (I haven't read the manga, just watched the anime: I do intend on buying the manga tho) was a doozy, but the focus, I find, is always pinned on the stabbing, and not the subtext of the episode - or what I believe the subtext to be. I mean, Yoshiki literally asks 'Hikaru' to kill him... Like... My bros, how are we focusing on 'Hikaru's' part of the episode when Yoshiki is being like this? I seriously believe that if 'Hikaru' had died to the stab, Yoshiki would've gone to off himself afterwards. And I don't see this mentioned much in the fandom space? Maybe I'm just not interacting with the right parts? I dunno, but that's not even the only thing 😭

There's Yoshiki's internalised homophobia, his grief, his family and religion issues, and his mental health even before Hikaru went up to the mountains. Maybe I just like Yoshiki a little too much... I'm also autistic (diagnosed), so idk...

Like given the episode with the stabbing scene, the whole buildup to that moment is Yoshiki's mounting guilt and pain about his choice to let 'Hikaru' stay, about his attraction, everything he thinks is wrong with himself. He thinks if he can get rid of 'Hikaru' it will get rid of this temptation for him to act in a way he views as shameful. He's not just killing 'Hikaru', I think the stabbing is him trying to kill off that part of himself he hates so much. And when he finds he can't kill off that part of him, he decides the only solution is for *all* of him to die.

'Hikaru' is an interesting character of course, but much of the role he serves in the story is as a manifestation of all the parts of Yoshiki he hates about himself. Yoshiki thinks he's a monster, 'Hikaru' is literally a monster. Yoshiki feels he's hurting those around him, 'Hikaru' has literally killed people. Yoshiki likes guys, 'Hikaru' likes getting much freakier than that. Yoshiki hates himself for defiling his dead friend's memory, grieving him not only as a friend but as a crush? Well now he's definitely defiling his memory, letting something else live in his body and do things the real one never would.

All in all, my post was really just to vent my own frustrations with the parts of the fandom that I have interacted with thus far. In the gacha reaction content I've seen (because I believe it is a genuine form of art and appreciation, and not really something to be embarrassed about), the video is labeled as being about Yoshiki, but then goes on to be about Yoshikaru or Hikaru himself (which is an important part of it, don't get me wrong). I watch these videos to see people's art about Yoshiki, and the way they digest his character's lore and hardships. I enjoy seeing how people infer his mental struggles, and his way of dealing with his grief, but I often find that a lot of the more important topics aren't discussed, or are mentioned almost in passing.