Letter from a Lupus Warrior
I am writing this to you because I want to save you from the heartache and pain that a future with me has in store for you. Right now, you think our love will protect you from the fear and uncertainty of tomorrow but it will not because at the back of your mind these thoughts will linger... The thought that one day you will wake up every morning, watch me unnaturally sound asleep because of the drugs you help me take every night. Look at my frail body detoriate every day and try reassure yourself that I still am the same girl you fell in love with, you will force yourself to look beyond my pale skin and ailing body... And as we prepare to go to work, you'll be afraid if I will come back to you at the end of the day or if the next time you see my face will be in a hospital bed or even worse, a morgue. But you will see my weak smile and try keep positive because you were told that the mind is powerful and now more than ever you need this to be true. You'll wanna make love to me and I'll be in too much pain to take wild, sexual adventures with you. Someday you'll want me to bear you a son, an heir and though you know my condition, you will still have this desire and sadly you will be disappointed because I may not be strong enough to bear you children. Right now, you think I am trying to push you away but I am not. You think I am and I can see why you do, but the truth is I see myself as a Saviour. Saving you from future pain that I bring. So take the salvation I bring. I may not be Jesus but I am self-aware. Enough to bring you salvation. I am writing this to you because I want to save you from the heartache and pain that a future with me has in store for you...A future of fear and uncertainty.
