The Smiling Sistah

I moved to Georgia;

I became a Teacher of Special Education in south Atlanta

I had to literally fight Human Resources, advocating for my right to be my authentic self before my students and colleagues

I won that battle;

I was in an accident that left me with no feeling in either of my legs for a week - and by the virtue of a praying Mother- I am walking and fine now.

I lost my brand new vehicle, that I’d only had for 4 months in that hit and run accident...

And here I am, on my years old blog - still doing similar things but speaking to higher callings - working on my first Gender Affirming Surgery in 6 years - and blessed to speak about it in the same place that I posted my first HRT pictures...

Trapped in a cyclic battle with myself. Trapped in between waning happiness and my fleeting desires. Trapped inside of a cage that I locked on my own. Trapped within a dream that was never my creation. I’ve felt just trapped.

I lost my apartment, and was living in different places out of my comfort zone and price range- but I was blessed enough to have temporary homes to say the least. My health declined and I found myself in the hospital for a few nights. My mental wellness expired, ha, expired yes...and I had a nasty string of these...panic stacks ar work because I was losing all sort of control of the energy I had worked hard to maintain in my work environment. I entered, experienced and ended a relationship and am still raw about it...and through all of these things; I can say that I’m still here.

The situations mentioned worked themselves out and by that I mean I don’t have the desire to revisit all of the antics used to maneuver in and out of each jam...but i fucking. Made. It.

And I’m damn proud of myself, and I wanted to share for someone who might think that there isn’t an end to the particular storm they’re weathering. There is. And then there’ll be another one, right on the horizon.

...dried petals....

.....rain in flakes...

dried petals....

i have been so bad, and i disappeared.