slowly devolding into a mischief blog

Trevor "dislikes theatre" Watson, despite himself, has stayed with Cornley for a decade. And throughout that time, he's been roped into various things far beyond his job description, and yet he continues to hang around and help out. Even when that includes acting.

Now there are plenty of reasons why someone may be uncomfortable on stage, and for a stage manager, it is perfectly reasonable to have such a strong aversion to being perceived. But adding the context of being trans on top of that contributes even more depth into the concept and allows us to carry it over to his personal life. Even though Trevor passes (obviously), and is almost certainly stealth - there is always the lingering fear of being Found Out and hence viewed differently.

A tiny thing that makes me giggle with trans Teb is various points in The Most Lamentable - making his codpiece more amusing, and making the scene when it flaps open additionally harrowing for poor Trev. Also Annie's "where be my man penis?!"

The job of a stage manager (/stagehand/set designer/whatever else he gets dragged into) requires a lot more manual labour, which can be very affirming - as there's often significantly more pressure on trans guys to 'prove' themselves as men. As well as this, having a role in stage crew inherently makes you useful. And if you struggle with the idea of being liked, at least you can be needed.

And in the context of ship dynamics, this theme of needing to be useful and needed is especially present. Especially as a gay trans guy - again there is so so much pressure on Trevor to be 'man enough' and to 'earn' the gay man title. And when you feel inherently undesirable, it becomes all the more easier to conflate your own self-worth with your usefulness.

Trevor's demeanour notably shifts from Peter Pan through to the Drama Festival. He comes across a lot angrier when we first meet him (mostly at the BBC crew), but mellows significantly by the time of Play of the Week (much more passive during the Nativity arguments, for example). And this makes way for moments where he can be gentle and silly (gentle with the cat in Harper's Locket, gentle with the cast in Most Lamentable, silly with sound effects in the drama festival, sweet in the NTA awards video, etc), which has undoubtedly always been there (him and Annie in Pan, the joy at Sandra's proposal), but he's become so used to building a tougher exterior. I think the drama society has done him good by letting him break down that armour and letting him be himself. It's such a transmasc-coded arc.

What's also transmasc-coded is his music taste. Metal, rock, and 80s new wave??? 🫵🫵🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️