Cat’s Story

Bop 1

The noises I make I get stares for

When I hyper and walk around

People stare at me

When I talk about what I like

I get stares, I get stares for being me

So just try to hind them

Keeping the quirks in my brain

I’m told to be myself

But being myself makes people stare

When I stim people look at me differently

Sometimes I just start beatboxing

Or running around

I can’t help it

My brain is just telling me to do it

So I have to tell my brain

Keeping the quirks in my brain

I feel lost

Like I have to change to make people comfortable

Hide my disability to fit in

Having to be something I’m not

To be in society

To be normal

Keeping the quirks in my brain

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Bop 2

I don’t know what comes over me when we hang out

When I’m with her nothing can hurt me

Like I can be myself and not be judge

She is the only person that gets me

We are super close

She’s my closest friend

What? It's totally platonic

I don’t know my feelings for her

Are we sisters or are we girlfriends?

I keep these feelings down

We are bunkmates and you don’t date a bunkmate

All of the time we spend together

The summers we spent together

Helping each other out

We are more than just friends

What? It's totally platonic

I told her that I might like-like her

She said her have a deep friendship with each other and our third friend

But I only have this feeling for her

She told me she wants to be the token single friend

I hope things change

I can know what we’re are

What? It's totally platonic

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Bop 3

When I was 12 years old I started to have feelings for this boy

Feelings that were brand new for me

I let these feelings brew not asking him out

I want to date him so bad

So I asked him out not so long ago

But he is gay

Love is something I don't even know

Last year my feeling grew from just boys to guys, girls, and everything in between

Boys are cute, girls are cute, non-binaries are cute, everyone is cute

When I’m around my friend, I wonder feelings for her is romantic

I hide this feeling

I hope it goes away when I’m around cute girls

I hope I won’t start crushing on all of my friends

I don’t want to ruin my friendships

I wish I could understand this feeling

Love is something I don't even know

I’m 15

My hormones are going crazy

Hopefully, soon they will settle

Or I’ll find the one

Hopefully, I won’t get any more heartbreak

But that comes with this weird feeling

Why are you crying about bananas? It’s a dumb thing to cry about. Is it because you hate bananas. It is not the different dessert making you cry it’s being different. You’re Pan, it’s not a big deal, you’re still single. You’re Jewish, well you’re at a Jewish sleep away camp. At Keshet club being queer and being Jewish is normal. But there is one more thing you are that makes you stand out. You are neurodivergent, ADHD. You’re handicap makes you different from your friends. You act differently, learn differently, think differently, even your senses work differently. You are different.

You look like everyone else, but you don’t fit in. You understand things differently, your brain processes things differently. You are different. You try to fit in put on a disguise try to understand their jokes understand how they work. But can’t really understand it. They tell you are being inappropriate, that you should know better . But you don’t understand why it is inappropriate to wear pants on your head. Why does it make your ‘friends’ uncomfortable? They tell to sit still, tell you to pay attention, tell not to make that noise, tell you not to run up and down the stairs, to you tell you this, tell you that. But why? It makes you feel comfortable. You being weird, loony, crazy, interesting and so much more. But not normal. You joke about it hoping to fit in by you still do not fit in. You feel like an alien. But you’re not. You are an awesomely unique person, you are neurodivergent.