yo mistah white I got da tumblah blahg

marriages of convenience seem fine to me. what even is love dude

I think my ideal romantic situation is someone who is obsessed with me. not on like a surface physical level but mentally. someone who has read my work and fallen in love with me from afar and then gets close to me and finds themself irresistibly attracted to me. this would be ideal because then I don’t have to do any of the work or feel anything, they can feel everything for me, and I can just kind of be there.

I feel like part of the problem with my sexuality is that me being a fujoshi is kinda primary to it more than anything else. not like I WANT it to be that way. to be clear. I wish it wasn’t. but for some reason by brain is just wired to get more pleasure from imagining two dudes im not involved with getting it on than to imagine myself having sex w anyone. like I definitely find women more attractive irl but not by much. it’s all kind of bland

I am popping off on tiktok bruh

Sighhh it’s been A Month and i already dearly miss being in a position of power where people were interested in me and wanted to be close to me. I feel like it was kind of a short cut for me forming relationships. bc people thought I was cool bc I had power and they wanted to be close to me to take advantage of my power. hopefully will attain a better position of power soon tho and then this will happen to me again.

I think if u literally locked me in a room by myself i would reinvent the Protestant work ethic from first principals. any time I relax even for a day I feel guilty. even my “off” days I spend working (writing). I was feeling guilty literally just now for not reading enough. I literally read AN ENTIRE 300 PAGE NONFICTION BOOK EARLIER TODAY IN ONE SITTING. FOR MY JOB. A WHOLE BOOK. I am incapable of giving myself any fuckign grace

I think 90% of my diet is yoghurt cheese and milk