everything’s different now.

i’m tired, i don’t know how many times i’ve said it i don’t know what to do, i don’t know how to feel alive again everything seems so boring to me everything is always the same nothing makes sense anymore. i always end up isolating myself from the world because everyone bores me everything bores me i can’t find what i want, i don’t know what I’m looking for but i feel incomplete. masturbating feels good, but i want to feel alive in a different way. alcohol doesn’t work anymore, i fool myself saying that it makes me feel “better”. i wish someone would help me, but nobody cares about me. i wish someone would want me, but i’m a horrible and boring person. i’m disgusting. i want to scream and cry, but even that won’t make me feel better at all. i want to feel alive, i want to stop feeling like a corpse. how can i stop feeling the void inside me? fuck, i’m a piece of shit. the void does’t go away, everyday i’m getting worse. i’m useless i feel so alone i want to be nice and fun, maybe that way i would have friends i want to be pretty. maybe that way, someone will love me i just want to feel wanted. even if it’s in a sexual way. -  空虚

yeah, i’m happy h - having a - p - pretty p - painful y - year

      4. Mega sad    

12. the most fuckin’ sad of the fuckin’ world

13.crippling depression 

14. game over

15.bye