Miracles Unfold
I cannot explain what I am feeling now, but for the sake of defining, I think I am in a state of awe: an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime (merriam-webster). Of a series of events that started days before.
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Ended and started the year with work in mind and body at work. Until I contracted the famous but near to be just in history corona. Days before, I was told that it is corona, even without test. But I kept my silence for I only have just 2 days paid vacation leave, and for all I know this will be a 7 to 10 days home quarantine. I continue working, letting pass what was told of me. Until a time, a concern staff told me, to better have a test. Finish the work for this day, and for the next day, before anything else, report. And that just happened. And that is the day I was confirmed I have the disease. I just learned, that part of me, the person that do not want to voice it out. Therefore, someone should. On this case, my body and my colleague.
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In silence God speaks to me saying that He loves me, and will protect me. But, instead of being secured, I felt the doubt. A feeling that is over and over again telling me lies. Started hearing foreign words that says I am studying God's Word for years now, but look, what I have now. Given a word or phrase that is so generic, so general, that even non-believers already heard. Questioning me, if is it God that O heard? Or it is just I wanted to hear? Then, while still holding His Word, may hands wanted to withhold. But, praise God for He confirms what He said. Before I think to drift away, God used somebody to tell me 'Yes child, I love you'. (Jeremiah 31:3) Our walk will be hard if we are alone. And maybe passing every signs that lead us to where we just started or worst put us farther from our destination. Seek God, and walk with people who are also going to your same destination.
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Being said, as a church we have this prayer and fasting every January (start of the year) and July (mid-year). My word for this year is Positive. Funny it may sound but yes, including tested Positive for covid. I thank God that within those days, there no feverish feeling, difficulty of breathing, excessive cough and not even colds. Therefore, it may looks just like a staycationing, offered with food, enough sleep and rest. Because of holding of this word, it also tells me that the next time I will be tested it will again say Positive. And it happened. Giving me 3 more days to continue resting and seeking God. Coincidence it may seem, but I believe it is God's work, that the last day of our prayer and fasting is also the last day of my quarantine. It is not about the sign +/-, it is how God use it and how we receive it.
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While thinking about the hassle and trouble I brought, it is hard to step again. Therefore taking things slow, I go to work, do my usual routine and end my shift. Before going home, I went to see if my schedule was changed like what may head nurse said. But it is not. I also searched for documents that will say that my shift is change, but nothing as of account. Hence, I asked my head nurse to verify. And in the middle of our meeting she called, saying sorry for not updating me, and we will stick with the old schedule. I am glad that I consulted and not decide for myself. I learned that it shows respect to the speaker. And in response, I received an apology without asking or thinking about it.
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Go taught me to give, share, partake, be a blessing. Because of limited stock, I cook food according to what is available. And the difficult part is He told me to cook macaroni pasta. In scarcity of ingredients I just put what I have at hand and because I still have a generous amount of pepper, I poured a lot. I received feedbacks, good feedbacks. They forget what is lacking, because as a whole it is delicious, and one says I poured love into it. Give all that you have, because there is always Our Father who will appreciate that.
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Sunday as a Christian is going to church day. But, I will say that not every Sunday I go to church. There are times, I got sick (like the Sunday before this), I have a responsibility to fulfill (to go to work, help others, etc.), and times where I just want to be at home or be with others. But this Sunday, I am predestined to go to church. My schedule was back to my regular schedule and our service was made twice this day. They were all fixed. When science wants to define coincidence relative to probability, I believe that coincidence is beyond that. It is how God arrange things, the way He plans events that will occur. That seems to be a once in a blue moon thing for us.
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My not so ordinary duty. I got some time to be with my ate before she end her shift, helping us to accomplish some task. Other staff also do things that we should be doing. We are receiving help without asking. Then, we have some time to take breathe and sip hot tea before continuing. Our rounds continue. We finished things before the usual time, check things if no backlogs, and ate our dinner. We are also given enough time to rest, which is more than the usual. Slept. When routines are break, things that I am used to, most of the time get annoyed. But this time is different. Amazed how God can turn things other way around.
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Inserting IV catheter nor blood extraction is not my forte, but this time another miracle happened. A patient, who cries a lot, was scheduled for blood extraction. I cannot quit without even trying, so I went to the patient praying to find a vein, and there it is. I ask the patient to hold still (even I do not know if she understands or comprehend what I say), and then blood was drawn. I thank her for her cooperation, and then she murmur. I asked her again, and she says arigatou (Japanese term for thank you). Then I told her, I will get back, and she replied hai (yes). I do not know how to tell my coworker what just happened. But when I got home, I chatted my friends/coworker, telling them how amazed I am. If I just quitted easily, I may have not witness that miracle.
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I have an obligation to pay, and the soon I remember it I just have to act immediately, for I am such a forgetful woman. Not having the intention to escape, but i might forget it especially in the busy time. After paying, she told me to accomplish some forms, form for my absences and other things that I haven't done. Also form that will pay me even in my absences. And non of my remaining paid leave will be use. I am somehow in doubt if they are going to assist me, but still God provides people that will help me, and provide for what I need.
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Miracles are not that usual unlike before. Where Moses split the sea, and water turns to blood, mannas, cloud by day, fire by night; Apostles healing the blind, the leper, the lame. BTW what is miracle? It is defined as a phenomenon that breaks the natural law. Something that cannot be explained. Miracles are signs pointing us to a destination, to where God is. So why do we see miracles less often? Does God hides or do not want to be seen? Or on the other side, are we asking for miracles this big?
