The word-putter-togetherer

Sideways they march!

Chittering chittering CHITTERING

How are they marching?

The crabs?

They're zombies! They're supposed to shamble!

Who organised them!

I bet

It was that necromancer

He didn't like that I wouldnt

Buy his old cloak

But it smelt of fish

And had holes in it

There was no way

He could have just left me a bad review

But noooo

Army of undead crabs

Waaaay better

I slow clap in your direction

And I walk diagonally

To confuse them

Weirdest game of chess

Zombie crabs

Versus me

I may need a shovel

Or at least some zombie tartare sauce

Or whatever goes with zombie crab meat

Oh well

Time to SMACK I guess

The chittering dead

Will advance no more

Or..

Ever..

As I crawl through your shadow, Sheltered from the light beyond, I hold a dream, set in a thousand lies A truth, beholden to nobody, To nothing within, Beyond, Or without, Clasping it with tired fingers, Grip loosened by time, Still I hold, Still I hold, Still I hold.

Until I don’t.

And it flies away,  To be one among the clouds again, To drift alone and free, Marked, By the fingers that held it, Not tainted, Just worn,  A remnant of a lost hope, Drifting, Alone among the clouds.

It’s a different kind of lost Not found on any map Because, you see I’m still here Physics be damned! I’m still here

This kind of lost I’m not sure if it wants to be found It dares me Dares me to go dark Cut out the world But I’m still here

To lose oneself One’s sense of self Is to lose yourself in the metaphysical world It feels cozy Am I still here?

In my dream

I was so sad. Crying.

I sat next to myself

And I said

"Look for the light,

In the dark,

Piercing pin-prick

Catching your eye.

Go towards it

Go forwards

Because even though it's tiny

It's there

And even though it seems so far away

It's there

And each step you take

Takes you closer

To the light."

I looked to myself

I had stopped crying

And I managed to crack a smile

I wiped my tears

Stood up

I know how it feels

To be nobody’s favourite

Maybe I’m a friend

To some even a confidant

I’m fine with my role

I’ve come to love it

No expectations

A stark lack of affection

I’m fine

I’m fine

I’m fine with it

I’m trying to convince myself

That being alone is best

There are things I miss

The warmth of a hug

Tingly feeling of kissing

I’m trying to convince myself

That I don’t need it all

I’m totally fine

I’m fine with it

I’m nobody’s favourite

I’m nobody at all

But I’m somebody to me

I’m me

And I’m lonely

the shame - how did I miss this?

how did I let this happen?

things have flipped so drastically

but at the same time...

nothing about who I am has changed.

I am who I've always been

only....

I hate her a bit less.

the framework around me has turned upside down

but I am still me.

I realise it all looks better this way

it's calm. it's home.

In the glistening dark over screams a song unfurls out of nothing and nowhere

that sounds as though it was crafted by time itself as it dictates our heartbeats.

Raw, right then, never sung again. I discover it as if I was there wide awake that night,

thrust into a real world I could believe in. I listen and time is not distance

traversed on train tracks, time makes me new like the melody woven on the spot. Spiders’ silk,

mulberry spinning, the screams throwing out the PA imprint on me how what passes,

am scared

What I can tell you is there are people, like me, like our mutual friends, who love you for who you are, and done expect any particular version of you.

to live my life at last

tired of safe, careful,

shrink, hide, quieten...

I want to shout

I'm not dead,

not even a living death,

and you know what?

believe it or not folks

I can be capable of playing it safe

while still holding out my hand

to someone who deserves the help.

don't worry, I'm not the girl you think I am

or the girl that pretty much anyone

thinks I am.

even if you think you're close...

you might be, but you still don't know

the things I am capable of,

the strength I keep stored for emergencies

and the knowledge that

my naive cutesy crushing

is only the top layer.

beneath it lies a guardian force

constantly assessing,

always looking at every angle,

just in case.

I may be smol in height

with a baby face

but I am so much more than you know.

power runs through my veins

that no one can ever take from me

and many have tried... and failed.

I cannot

and will not