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F: ..If anyone is equipped to survive out there, it is Astrid. 

                           with an ease only a prince could manage , hans is certain he’s made the act of gently picking at the gloved latex into a sight that is almost entrancing ——— and yes , some might say he’s being awfully pretentious , but it is the truth. even captured and bloodied ( though the blood isn’t his at all ; well there are some , but it’s all dried up by then ) hans have never once let a situation shed him from the role he’s always pushed himself to be: the most perfect version anybody could be in any predicament … although he supposes what’s lacking now from that “perfect” image a person could be from being kidnapped by pirates are the desire to escape and to be boldly captivating while doing so , but … eh , as his carer would say , nobody could be absolutely honestly ideal anyway. 

                                the edge of hans’ lips quirk into the smallest , meanest signature westergaard smirk at her rebuke , allowing a snort to escape from his snort straight to her acknowledgement , making sure his cruel amusement is known.   does he not care about his life ,  she asked and if only she knew … it’s because he cares , he’d rather die at the hands of a thug than being returned to the gruesome fingers of his father. oh , hans could imagine it now — how father would go on , asking how weak hans must be that he is not even able to fight off some … bandits. but he does not say this all aloud , of course , not when it seems that by just watching her natural reactions seem to be more entertaining than having to spew some words to see how she would comment ; hans pluck the latex from his hands then , stretches his clammy fingers then tosses the blood-covered thing aside … bright , manipulative eyes watching her without failing as he does so.

                                the shout is perhaps the highlight of hans’ whole twenty three years old of living , but he doesn’t allow himself to smile ( well , maybe a little ) before proceeding to watch her more carefully. it doesn’t escape his notice to watch her grow paler with every vicious attempt she’s made to … well , honestly , hans doesn’t know what she’s trying to do — but she’s not anywhere successful at it, that’s for sure. when she has doubled over and coughed out that familiar liquid , hans finally sighs out and shifts from where he’s been sitting to stand up ,     ❛    you are perhaps one of the most brainless person i’ve ever met ,    ❜     and he’s lived with twelve gigantic idiots his whole life    ,    hans can’t help to think before he uses his upper body strength to hold her weakening body , and forces her to sit by the corner where she’s able to lean back.        ❛      continue like that and i assure you , you’ll be dead way before you can meet your precious friend or see the daylight again.      ❜

she wiped the blood from her mouth, using her gloves as a napkin, staring at the streak of red it’s left behind. blood didn’t wash out easy if left untreated for long time. she’d have to get new ones. it gave her an incentive to keep the dizziness at bay, to hold it back with every fiber of her being. she had to stay strong, she thought as he leaned her against the wall. she had to get to stormfly before it’s too late, before they skin her for her hide and use her spikes as a base for weaponry. she’d seen it done before, before berk had become one with the dragons, they’d killed them for many things, food ( which was disgusting, honestly ), warm clothing, and weapons against other dragons and clans like the outcasts, and berserkers once dagur had disposed of his father and taken over as the chief.

astrid shuttered to think of what they’d do to her dragon, her gorgeous nadder hide would be used as stupid decoration. the thought made her sick to her stomach, and the knot that had begun to form deep inside her rolled with a fresh wave of nausea, threatening to spill out of her mouth with force, blood bearing with it again. but the blonde was strong, and she held it down through the searing pain in her chest from the damn arrow, she looked up at her cellmate, meeting his gaze. though his voice conveyed irritance, his eyes seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being. 

❝ my name is astrid, ❞ she gave in, reaching up to undo the clip that holds her hood together. as much as the thought of another person inspecting her other than her fiance disheartened her, she realized it was a necessary evil. hiccup would have to understand.

bonus: send in the symbol for a randomly generated response!

❝ the ancient aliens guy???? ❞

❝ so this guy came into my work one time and he was ranting on how the stock market was going to crash and we need to take our money out of the banks and exchange it for gold, and the jews on wallstreet were to blame. ❞

❝ so how’s Old Lady Jane doing? ❞

❝ literally the only good thing about today is that it’s flannel friday. ❞

❝ i put some lotion on a few quarters and gave them to him and he was like whAT IS THIS EW ❞

❝ do you want me to bring you lunch? what kind of lo mein do you want? ❞

❝ 1:30 in the morning, i passed out at the kitchen table. homework is done whether or not it’s actually done. ❞

❝ okay fine, you can still be mozzarella sticks. ❞

❝ i’m oreos. this is a stupid chart. ❞

❝ the fam ate all the leftover pizza from friday night and i’m sad about it. ❞

❝ THERE ARE FREE SAMPLES EVERYWHERE. I’M IN FREE SAMPLE HEAVEN. ❞

❝ i just fucking love cheese. ❞

❝ i’m you, when your wounds were fresh with Satan. ❞

❝ i know you’re in pain, but that text sounded really hardcore. wounds fresh with Satan, like damn. ❞

❝ HE SENT ME A DICK PICK AND IT LOOKS KINDA SAD IDK HOW TO RESPOND. ❞

❝ gUYS. WHERE IS A GOOD PLACE TO EAT???? ❞

❝ fuck u cooper. ❞

❝ not finna with waiting. ❞

❝ NOT FINNA. ❞

❝ ma’am i’m gonna have to ask you refrain from using that language. ❞

❝ FUCK YOU EMILY. ❞

❝ I’M THROWING UP BECAUSE I’M THINKING OF YOUR FACE. ❞

❝ i’m gonna hate every single last one of you if you don’t show up. ❞

❝ josh bell is dead to me. ❞

❝ bc it’s dark and cold and i get lonely. ❞

❝ uhhhhhhhhh i’m running out of money bro. ❞

❝ WGAR. ❞

❝ pls tell me you said that in your miranda sings voice. ❞

❝ wtf does fhoykf mean ❞

❝ i look like a lesbian today. ❞

❝ wait. let the hunger consume you. then you’ll be able to eat more with me. ❞

❝ i usually say ‘ hold on i’m wiping my ass ‘ but maybe that’s just me. ❞

❝ squishy blueberries are no fun. ❞

❝ JESUS CHRIST WHERE IS THE SLINGSHOT?????? ❞

❝ my calc teacher looks like santa. ❞

❝ so i started candy crush. ❞

❝ yes and how’s that addiction treating you? ❞

❝ i’m standing at the host stand and the door behind me opens and he yells out, “ hey [insert name here]! “ so i turn and all of a sudden i have a face full of cornbread. ❞

❝ I HAVE NEVER LOVED MY BED MORE THAN THIS EXACT MOMENT AND I KNOW  I’VE SAID THAT A LOT OF TIMES BUT THIS TIME IT’S TRUE. ❞

❝ answer me so i can get you food. ❞

                                               no pressure,                                               no diamonds.