“I mean. Yes, sure, you could have, but–but you have to remember, I’m still learning. About this. About it being not… not fuzzy.”
It’s a lot of words to express his surprise, maybe, but they’re the words that feel right when Jon is right there and he suddenly wonders what his voice–like, as in his mental voice–sounds like but that seems like a weird question to ask. Is it a weird question to ask? David isn’t sure yet.
“This whole… mind reading thing. It’s not new to you. Right? Is there a reason you didn’t–didn’t get diagnosed as–as–as schizophrenic? Were people nicer to you? Or maybe you just shut up about it more and people didn’t think that you were completely off your rocker because you… were less vocal.”
He pauses. Whistles, low.
“Except you, uh. Do see more stable. I mean–besides the manic thing. You seem a little more… grounded than me. Is that normal? Is that what it’s like when the Haloperidol is finally out of your system?”
“Sorry that’s… a lot of questions. And talking. You don’t have to answer them all. How are you? Are you doing okay? Are you–you’re not depressed right now, are you?”
“It’s okay. Let’s uh, sit down. Here, that couch is free.” He smiles and leads David over to the collection of seating, and sits on the edge of the couch, letting his brother find his own place. He can tell his brother is anxious and will happily do whatever he can to alleviate it. “So first, no. It’s not new to me. I couldn’t always do it like, well. At first, I think -- it was a long time ago -- but I think I could sort of feel people before I could hear them.” He hums and shakes his head.
“People weren’t nicer, exactly. I was just...I didn’t do it. I mean, I did it. All the time. But I learned that people...they didn’t like it. And they certainly couldn’t do it themselves. It wasn’t something I shared with people, you know? I realized that I was different and...I don’t know. My brain told me that if I didn’t want to be drugged and locked up, I’d have to pretend to be like everyone else. If I wanted people to treat me like a person and not some...whacko, I’d have to be like them. It sucked, right? But like, less than being put in some place like Clockworks. I learned how to be more careful. Not reveal to people that I knew things I wasn’t supposed to know, that sort of thing.
“The uh, mental illness, that started later. And don’t get me wrong, they don’t. They don’t know exactly how to treat it. How to treat the bipolar without dampening everything else. My powers are...emotional. My...mania and shit, that’s emotional. It’s connected, I think. So treating me is hard. But I’ll always need them, I think. I don’t think it will ever just...go away and I’ll be normal. It’s brain chemistry, you know? But yeah, I’m okay. Not depressed, not really. I was kind of manic there for a while but now I’m just...normal me, if that’s a thing.”