「コーガ様!」

「コーガ様!」 #‪‪MIGHTIESTBANANA ⎯⎯ ■ ■ ■ a private rp/ask blog for MASTER KOHGA from the Legend of Zelda (BOTW, TOTK, AOC). Peeled by al.

𝐈. RULES   𝐈𝐈. BIO    𝐈𝐈𝐈. STORY   𝐈𝐕. VERSES   𝐕. HC ( directory )

hair ( @devilsprophet )

"Y’know…" Kohga drawls, his head propped up on Astor’s lap as the other intricately weaves strands of Kohga’s hair into a long braid, "I dunno if this is reallllly necessary."

He takes a slow inhale of his pipe and blows out, the smoke lazily flowing into the air between them like a snake.

"I’ve lived a long time, you know this, and I’ve never been possessed by any kinda spirit yet…" —unless you include the banana sake.

As Astor finishes tying off the end of Kohga’s braid with a bead of his own, Kohga’s fingers lift up to touch it. He rolls the little bead thoughtfully between his fingers and hums.

"You picked this one by yourself, didn’t you?" For me, there’s a knowing little lilt to his voice, amusement curling at the corners of his mouth.

He lets his fingers droop back to his chest, making no attempt to undo Astor’s work as he chews at the end of his pipe.

"Guess I’m gonna be protected from evil spirits, might as well look good—ahem, better—doing it."

Then, in a quick flash, Kohga’s head shoots up from Astor’s lap and comes to settle a mere breath away from Astor’s lips.

"I got a feeling the only thing I need protecting from is you."

His lips twist into that familiar cat-like mien, wrinkles creasing at the ends of his eyes until the cat has taken on the aspect of a conniving fox.

"Afraid there’s not much that can be done about that."

He lifts a hand to briefly caress the side of Astor’s face before it returns to fumble with the bead. "Guess I could keep it around."

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK ( @woevrns )

Kohga’s eyes catch Zelda, then immediately track towards the cart chock full of what looks like a ton of random things.

"What’s this, Zel? You out lookin’ to do a castle yard sell or something with all that old junk?"

But when she nearly smiles her sweet smile at him, only growing wider by the second as Kohga’s realization sets him, his own eyes grow bigger in return.

"Oh! For… me? For me!"

He flits over to the cart like an overly eager bird, fingers immediately rifling through whatever he can get his hands on with no regard for organization.

"Ohhh… some of these books are OLD, old!" A few appear to be written in older dialects he’s still familiar with, and he carefully thumbs through several pages before setting them aside to investigate the next treasure.

He imagines this is what a magpie must feel stumbling upon a pile of shiny loot.

"Princess, I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about you."

He turns around to wink, and although she can’t see it, the effect bleeds through his voice well enough.

"Well, most of ‘em."

He next digs out an especially ornate looking sword, pulling it from its sheath just enough to admire the blade and sword guard, only to pause when he realizes it’s blatantly Sheikah in design. Given that the Sheikah have only recently returned to service for the Royal Family, it’s clear this is a relic from the time before the tribes were split…

"Wooooah, I haven’t seen something like this in ages." He carefully turns it around in his hands. "Do you know how old this is? The last time I got my hands on one of these— I mean, I’ve heard plenty of stories about ‘em!"

He gives the sword another impressed once-over before carefully returning it to its sheathe.

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK ( @gloryseized )

Right. Link just so conveniently saddling up with a delicious-smelling banana dish, a coincidence.

Kohga eyes Link from the corner of his periphery as the young knight approaches, not taking his eyes off him even as the plate is placed in front of the master.

Unfortunately, the smell cuts right through all his carefully crafted defenses. His stomach growls, his mouth begins to water, and his fingers twitch, unbidden, toward the spoon.

Before either of them has the chance to blink, a bite disappears beneath Kohga's mask.

A long stretch of silence becomes a gulf between them, Kohga's eyes fluttering shut as he savors the medley of flavors that dance across his tongue, and he thinks he must have just landed in heaven, oh.

Caramelized banana, a pinch of spice, a bit of salt, the bite of rum, all brought together with rich, creamy vanilla ice cream…

Fuck.

As if bananas couldn't get any more perfect. No. Fair

He drops the spoon and pulls away from the dish and his seat, looking entirely defeated.

"What the ever loving heck, kid?"

He swipes a hand over the forehead of his mask.

"How the heck did you do it? It's not fair. Basically illegal. Ugh…"

"...You made this, for me?"

He eyes Link skeptically once more. He knew it was his birthday week and all, and while the celebrations the Yiga would normally have for such an occasion paled in comparison to their usual festivities due to their current circumstances, it wasn't surprising that Link had caught on. And definitely not because Kohga went around parading the fact.

"...Is it poisoned?"

He stares at the dish, watching a swirl of melted ice cream slide down the mountain of bananas, and gnaws his lip.

like real people do ( @devilsprophet )

The rain had done little to wash the blood from his clothes and weapons, his disguise having long since melted away along with the ensuing downpour. What did it matter? The man was dead, and only Kohga and Astor stood as testament to Kohga's true identity.

He hadn't been aware at the time that Astor was angry at all. Odd, because it was usually so easy to tell. But he supposed the heat of the hunt and the ensuing fire in his veins had dulled him to everything but his quarry, all of it slowly melting away as the cool rain drenched his clothes and raised the gooseflesh along his skin.

Now, however, he offers Astor his usual cocky, lopsided grin.

"Such is the fate of many men. Distracted by my beauty. Can't blame you at all."

His grin widens.

"...Though you could have picked a less inconvenient time to appreciate it."

If he was at all sorry for going in for the kill far sooner than either of them had agreed upon, well, it was clear Kohga didn’t much care.

He lurches forward, a single hand coming up to grip Astor by the front of his own soaked through tunic, his smile having faded only slightly enough to resemble the curve of his own sickle blade.

Astor watched as the man indulged himself on their excursion, buying every little thing that caught his eye, be it object or food. He had planned on such an extravagant display of greed, of course—after all, such was his gift on this week of “celebration.” An entire day of his attention and his coin, all Kohga’s for the taking.

And his darling, greedy dog of a man did indeed know how to take.

Even when accounting for this, however, Kohga was exceeding expectations. The Seer would need to do a good bit of work to balance out his books once their outing was through, in addition to his various other duties set aside for their activities.

And yet…

Astor’s golden stare lingered on Kohga’s beaming smile as he draped himself in yet another layer of silk, its vibrant red hue a perfect match for his eyes, bright with delight. If the Yiga had a tail, it would have been wagging.

He dropped more coins into the merchants waiting hand, and accepted his fate with dignity.

Such a spoiled thing, his Kohga.

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK ( @devilsprophet )

Master Kohga was positively feeling spoiled as rotten as an aged banana could be. He knew Astor was in possession of hefty coffers, he just didn’t know how much, and how willing he was to splurge for this special occasion. So if Kohga happened to spend far more than what either of them had anticipated, well, that was all part of the occasion, wasn’t it?

Kohga emerges from behind the silk merchant's display with an armful of fabric and a spin, practically glowing from head to toe in his disguise. Indeed, if he’d had a tail, it would have been thumping wildly with joy.

"You know, Astor, I think you've really outdone yourself this time."

He holds one length of silk against himself, admiring it in the mirror and imagining how well it would pair with his natural eye color, before adding it to a disguised Sooga’s ever growing pile of bundles and bags without another word, even as Astor’s stare bores into the back of the master’s head.

"I could get used to this whole birthday thing… and y’know, I think I’m beginning to understand why royalty lives like this."

Kohga pauses just before Astor begins rummaging for his coin purse, and another bolt of silk that has caught his eye swiftly joins the top of the pile before a single coin has been dropped into the seller’s palm.

As Astor finishes paying, Kohga whirls around on his feet, and bursts forward to grab Astor on either side of his cheeks. Kohga leans in and places an open mouthed kiss upon Astor’s lips, letting their mouths linger together far longer than what was necessary in a public setting.

Only once everyone in sight has had a chance to spot the couple does Kohga slowly draw back, eyes glistening such that for a moment, his natural shade shows through the illusion in a twinkling glow of red.

He pats the side of Astor’s cheek, a stupid grin plastered across his stupid, overly pleased face.

I can never be convinced otherwise that Ganondorf and Kohga aren't super compatible as a duo despite no canon meeting between them (LOST OPPORTUNITY!!!! well that's totk in a nutshell). They might seem like opposites, and in terms of personality, they certainly are (but there are also MANY similarities). However, those personality contrasts COMPLEMENT eachother very well and could make such a compelling dynamic. We got the perfect setup for the wise guy and the straight man comedic duo here.

Kohga's identity is one completely forged on his own, whilst Ganondorf's is one he was born with (preordained to be king) and one he maintains under rigid control. Kohga provides MUCH needed levity to Ganondorf's gravitas and brooding. That contrast also creates an interesting balance. Kohga can bring humor, spontaneity, and humanity into Ganondorf's orbit in a way that few other characters that usually sit in Ganondorf's underlings' role could.

They also have a lot in common in terms of ideology/motives, which is what draws them together initially.

Kohga also doesn't threaten Ganondorf's power. Kohga doesn't want power for power's sake or to surpass Ganondorf. What he wants is power to accomplish his goals. And Ganondorf can do just that and more—what the Yiga have always wanted, ultimately, is a force powerful enough to upend Hyrule. There is a reason the splinter faction of the Sheikah chose to later align themselves with the Calamity.

Kohga is loyal, at times to a fault, and will prove devoted and useful to Ganondorf.

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK ( @novachrysalism )

Kohga folds his arms across his chest and tilts his head to the side in obvious dismay, his eyes comically blown wide beneath his mask.

"Boy, oh boy, you’ve got a lot of cheek!"

Which was admittedly something he liked about Midna. And sometimes disliked, especially if it was directed at him. Buuuut, it was refreshing and made her unpredictable. He’d never get lip like that from one of his men. Well, not the footsoldiers. The elders and those who have been around him long enough to have grown wise to his antics? Maaaaybe.

"My dear, I think you’ve gotten your days mixed up."

He places a hand dramatically over his chest, the other coming to frame his head where it was proudly held aloft like a portrait.

"It’s my birthday."

"Which means, naturally, you should be getting ME something."

THE SQUIDWARD LINK CRUSHER 9000 Now with extra spikes! And capable of going over water!

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK

OOOH. Sweet!

He has a feeling said anonymous benefactor is likely one of his Yiga. Granted, he can’t exactly prove it, but he has a pretty good hunch.

Either way…he’s beyond elated!

He clasps his hands beneath his chin, practically bouncing off the balls of his feet at the sight of this lovely beast in all its glory.

"Man, oh man, it’s PERFECT! I couldn’t have done a better job myself!" —actually, he could have, but that’s not the point here.

He approaches the vehicle and knocks on it with one balled hand.

"Has it been safety tested yet?" No way is he gonna risk getting his toe ran over again, and spending a whole week out to commission for it…not that he minded the extra ZZZs.

He eyes the spikes thoughtfully, a hungry gleam forming in them.

"...and by safety tested, I mean thoroughly tested for the safety of the person operating it."

Dating Con: Until a bigger hot guy named Ganondorf appears. Then you’re getting dropped like a slimy banana peel!

Send me one pro and one con you could see with dating my character.

"Oh, no, absolutely not. That one’s MINE. I’ve had my eye on him since before you were a twinkle in your mama’s eyes— You stay away from him, you hear?!" Kohga’s voice drops into a rumbling growl, "I’ll cut your damn hand off if you try—"

He points an accusing finger, his eyes narrowing into razor-sharp pinpricks behind the mask. If looks could kill.

MASTER KOHGA’S BIRTHDAY WEEK ( @herswxrd )

Kohga catches the basket without blinking. As lands in his hands, he blinks down at it, fully expecting it to be a bomb bundle. Thankfully, they seem to be perfectly normal bananas… at least he thinks they are.

"Excuse me. But it’s my birthday week. Which means I should be the one getting my birthday gift and wishes granted."

He slowly looks Link up and down, a frown slowly tugging his mouth down.

"And yet you’re still standing here," his falls voice flat with just the faintest sneer carried beneath, "Breathing."

"Y’know, I got like…. a hundred other bundles of these baddies this week already. You think you can toss in another and we call it a day?"

He scoffs and snaps his fingers with one hand.

Send me one pro and one con you could see with dating my character.

If he wasn't already visibly preening at the compliment, he certainly is now.

"Pssssh, that's no problem." He waves a dismissive hand through the air. "We don't need any flying Divine Beast or dragon to hitch a ride. We've got a whole underground kingdom to conquer!"

A beat.

"...I'll let you call shotgun~"

"AND HEY, just 'cuz we can't show our beautiful masked faces around town doesn't really mean much. That's why we have disguises! I don't really consider the rest of the rabble around Hyrule polite company, anyway."