mariah r

you told me last night that one day you hope we might be able to restore a healthyhappyfunctional relationship and that you hope i might be able to realize how much my father loves his daughter before it’s too late.

because, you said, it would be sad if i didn’t realize it before it’s too late. sad for me, that is, you said.

and you probably think i disagree. when, in fact, i wholeheartedlypainfullylongingly agree. however, a healthyhappyfunctional relationship won’t happen in this life. because your narcisisstic personality disorder drives wedge after wedge into our relationship, and you don’t even know it.

i realize you love me as much as you’re capable of loving someone more than yourself. i realize your disorder is not your fault. i realize Jesus Christ suffered the Atonement for you as much he did for me.

but your disorder is like poison to my physicalemotionalspiritual well-being. and don’t misunderstand when i say that some nights i am on my knees hyperventilating sobbing trembling because i want my earthly father and i to have a healthyhappyfunctional relationship.