Release

“Real anger is suffused with desperation. It doesn’t go away. It murmurs beneath the crust of the ground, or a person who serves as the ground you stand on. I’m not saying it’s a good idea for another person to be that for you. I’m just saying it’s happened to me and it could have happened to you: you were raised to be connected to someone else on this earth. In a dual body, there’s no room for both of you. In a dual body, when one of you is willing to harm their body, your body, the shared body, you sometimes have to shrink to the size of a pea in order to evade pain. You evade by not existing, or existing only enough to respond, survive, escape. Existing to be pleasurable enough, to be okay enough to keep around.”

someone, looking at my very obvious self harm scars: woah where did you get those!