Blog it like it's hot

Ads: Brendan's out, Jürgen's in. The entire squad is injured. You'd think Studge was make up of Drake's heart the amount of times he's hurt. Even Stevie's left us. I didn't know until yesterday that Alberto could speak English. If José posts one more picture of himself on holiday or topless on a boat I will literally eat Joe's beard. Joe has a fucking beard. Philippe is apparently sexually active and is having very tiny children of his own. We sold Daniel Agger, but it's ok don't worry because we have Dejan Lovren... And yes he's fucking injured. They didn't spend too long mourning Hendo's passing before making James fucking Milner the captain. We've signed James fucking Milner. I can't even pick the worst game we've had. Probably somewhere between losing 6-1 to Stoke on Stevie's last game, or getting to penalties at home to Carlisle. If you didn't think Brendan was serous about playing Emre in defence, think again. But at least he showed great character at all times. I can't even talk to you now because I can see Joe in the corner of my eye stroking his fucking beard again.