Minun hautaani vartioi satatuhatta tappajasatelliittia

I’ve had some questions, so here’s some facts around the topic: What Luondo is not

- it’s not a Spirit Animal or a Totem Animal, these are Native American concepts and mean completely different things - it’s not a Soul Animal, Power Animal, Sieluneläin, or whatever the the New Age-y invention is (a note: Sieluneläin/Voimaeläin are not old Finnish tradition, or Karelian, they’re a very recent concept and they, too, mean completely different things)(the trad Finnish equivalent to Luondo would be Luonto, same thing basically) - it’s not a Fylgja, although a Fylgja is getting closer! Fylgja is still a different thing though, can capable of things a Luondo is not (such as harming you - a Fylgja can even kill its owner, but a Luondo is not capable of that)(you can also have more Fylgja than just one, although this is rare) - it’s not an animal you feel a connection to, love, or can relate to - that would be a Soul Animal - Luondo is not a dead tradition, or something that’s no longer a part of religious beliefs; Luondo are very much a part of indigenous Karelian tradition - Luondo is not one part of a soul, or one third of a soul, although you hear people claim this a lot (this is based on the Christian idea that a human has one soul only) So what is a Luondo? Simply put, it’s your soul. One whole soul of the three souls that you own. Commonly they have an animal form, but on occasion they can also be human shaped. They can also change shape to human form, you specifically, when they’re out scouting the road ahead. In these cases people will see your Luondo, think it’s you, and may even try to interact with it. Of your three souls, none are actually tied to your body! Not even the one that’s your life force, Henki can do short wanderings around while you’re asleep, but it returns in time so you won’t die. Small babies are an exception, their Henki lacks experience and may accidentally fly away while they sleep. Luondo is capable of traveling long distances, getting lost, leaving you, getting accidentally left behind and so forth. It will always try to find its owner and return, though.

Can a person know the shape of their Luondo? Yes! The most reliable way to find out its shape is by asking a Tiedäi who’s capable of seeing them, but most people eventually just know, based on their life experience. It’s usually an animal whose behaviour mirrors your own whenever you’re put on defense. Luondo is your defender and protector, and this manifests in how you react to threatening situations. Luondo is not your favourite animal. It may even take the shape of an animal you dislike, and no, you don’t get to choose. You can’t have more Luondo than one. You can, however, have some say in its strength, the stronger your Luondo the luckier you are in life, and this strength can be grown. Besides strength, size and shape of the Luondo matter in how well it protects you. It’s important to learn how it protects you, because them you’ll have the advantage of using your Luondo to its full potential. Maybe your Luondo type of an animal tends to run away and hide when things get tough? Well then fighting head on might be a bad route for you, cause unnecessary stress and get you absolutely nowhere. It’s better to work with the Luondo on its own terms than to force it outside of its element. For example, if your Luondo is a wolf, your natural defense route would be avoiding trouble entirely, or group working. If it’s a moose or a swan, you’re the type to fuck shit up naturally. If it’s a bear, you try to threaten or boast your way out, and only fight as a last resort move (but very efficiently)(for some reason, everyone with a bear Luondo that I’ve met has been an extremely kind person). Trying to make your Luondo do battles against its nature will yield worse results than just letting it do its thing. If you’re not a Karelian, are you allowed to play with the concept of Luondo? In my personal opinion, why not, it’s not bad to learn more about yourself, and the way that’s most efficient for your personal self defense.

HOWEVER: know what you’re talking about. Don’t just grab the word and use it for any cute animal you relate to, or resonate with, definitely don’t claim to have several different ones. Do not appropriate it for your own religion’s purposes, and do not claim it’s something it’s not. 

Bc that shit can get really confusing on a first playthrough.

If anyone is willing to add more details/clarify stuff/correct stuff pls do so, bc yeah.

1. Broken Stone War

Took place roughly 200 years before PoE 1

Anyway, it all started when Aedyran explorers landed on the Eastern Reach - namely in Eir Glanfath - and found a bunch of relatively untouched and well-mantained Engwithan ruins. They plundered the shit out of the ruins and brought the riches back to the Aedyran feyrcönyng (or however you spell it idfk... It's the king of Aedyr, I'll just call him king going forward).

The king sent more people to plunder more, which was obviously something the Glanfathans didn't like, given that Engwithan ruins and natural adra formations are sacred to them.

Glanfathans guarding the ruins ended up being killed or captured and sold as slaves.

The Glanfathans pushed back, but the more they resisted, the more people the Aedyrans sent. Before the Glanfathans knew it, there was already a colony: the Dyrwood.

Funnily enough not any of these things ended up launching a full scale war between the Glanfathans and Dyrwoodans. It was actually a pair of farmers accidentally knocking over an adra pillar. The Glanfathans responded by starting large-scale raids on the Dyrwood.

The king appoints Edrang Hadret, Bestest Strategy Man™ (his son will be important, you'll see) as gréf (basically the governor of the Dyrwood).

Under Edrang's leadership the Dyrwoodans managed to push back but eventually they and the Glanfathans only ended up at a stalemate. The end of the war was marked by a treaty that basically said that the Dyrwood can stay as long as they stay clear of the Engwithan ruins.

2. War of Black Trees aka Broken Stone War 2 Electric Boogaloo

Took place roughly 25-26-ish years or so after the Broken Stone War

Guess who liked the ending of Broken Stone War? Absolutely nobody. Especially not the king.

So anyway the king kept encouraging the plundering of ruins, Dyrwoodans, who were still pissed, were more than willing to oblige and the Glanfathans were happy to retaliate.

Edrang Hadret was pretty old at this point so he sent his son, Admeth, to lead the Dyrwoodan war effort.

Admeth realized pretty quickly that the Glanfathans are best at guerilla warfare and like to use the woods as cover. So he started setting forests on fire.

The scorched earth thing worked pretty well, and the war ended in less than a year with the Dyrwood winning. But a good chunk of the Dyrwood burned down too and the tactic was pretty damn expensive, and overall there were too many casualties on both sides. So the Dyrwoodans and Glanfathans were more or less inclined to coexist/cooperate after the war.

3. War of Defiance

Took place 10 years after the War of Black Trees.

For the 10th anniversary of relative peace and prosperity happening between the Dyrwood and Eir Glanfath, Admeth Hadret (now gréf) decided to just... abolish slavery. As a treat.

Previous slave-owners were compensated so they didn't really complain, the king tho??? Just about had enough.

So the king just kept sending scouts to plunder some ruins in the hopes that Glanfathans would just attack again in retaliation.

That didn't happen tho, bc the Glanfathans reached out to AH and he figured out pretty quickly what was happening. Especially since the Glanfathans sent a bunch of ciphers to help (this ends up inspiring the formation of a certain organization of telepathic detecitves...)

Then AH went "you know what?? Fuck this, fuck you" and declared independence from Aedyr.

The war ended with Aedyr losing the Dyrwood and AH dying. And a bunch of other things like renaming New Dunryd to Defiance Bay and it becoming the new capital. Also with 2 erldoms being dissolved bc their erls sided with Aedyr (one of which is the Yenwood with Caed Nua at its center so no erldom for the Watcher, thanks a lot Gathbin, you POS )

4. The Saint's War

Took place 15 years before PoE

So some time after the War of Defiance, Aedyr experienced a bit of an economic collapse, which hurt the poorer, mostly farmer, mostly Eothasian population the most.

Aedyr fixed the issue by yeeting these people to a new colony north-east of the Dyrwood, and that's how Readceras came to be.

The plan was to capitalize on the niche market of purple dye, produced from vorlas plants. But then after a series of bad harvests, famine and a freaking pandemic, the settlers in Readceras were just as miserable if not more than they were back in Aedyr.

Then one day, Eothas, god of light, redemption and just all around the patron god of farmers and other downtrodden people, appeared to a farmer called Waidwen. Eothas appointed Waidwen as his saint, and with his consent, possessed Waidwen.

Waidwen, possessed by Eothas, then proceeded to first actually convince his fellow Eothasians that, yeah, he is Eothas' saint, then to cultivate a large enough following for a proper revolution.

After a short while pretty much all of Readceras was backing Waidwen and the imperial elite was eventually kicked out. Waidwen was crowned Divine King™ and thus Readceras became an independent theocracy.

After getting rid of the imperial leadership, Waidwen continued by getting rid of church corruption. This time, however, things escalated to the persecution of "heretics" (basically anyone who wasn't Eothasian). So the Dyrwood got a whole lot of refugees flocking to them.

This ofc gained Waidwen's attention and he started a crusade to "liberate the Dyrwood from false gods".

Cold Morn was the first village that the Readcerans reached. It was a settlement with like... no defense whatsoever and Waidwen offered to leave them alone in exchange of safe passage. The folks of Cold Morn took the deal and the Readceran army went unopposed until they reached Mercy Vale, another village with little to no defense. Waidwen made the same offer but they didn't take the deal and so the village was wiped out. But this set a precedent, and after the war Cold Morn was burned to the ground as punishment for their cowardice.

The Dyrwoodans won a couple of battles using what they've learned from their previous wars but it became pretty clear, pretty quickly that they couldn't resist an army lead by an actual god for long.

So a bunch of engineers and Magranite priests from Ashfall started building a big fucking bomb lovingly named "The Godhammer" (with the help of some Rauataian military engineers and a certain war goddess but shhh no one cares about them).

The reason why people are angry isn’t because tlou2 is a shit game (it is fyi), people are angry because tlou2 represents everything wrong about the gaming industry.

Sweatshop like 80+ hour workweeks, no respect towards its workers, no empathy towards the players nor to the game before it, rushed and ridiculous writing and design decisions because of said bad working conditions, etc.

Literally this game is the epitome of what needs to be changed in the world of triple AAA games. The fact that this game won against something like Hades is proof that these awards are rigged.

-The Witcher came out

-The movie Parasite wins at the Oscars

-Stickbugging

-Kim Jong Un “died” like three times

-Ray Bans Official Charity Sale For $26.99 Today

-The murder hornets appearing and disappearing in like a week

-The Sonic movie came out

-Jennifer Lopez pole dances at the Superbowl

-4/20/2020

-X Æ A-12 Musk

-UFOs are real apparently

-Plane flights were like $15 at one point

-For some reason, Clone High is making a comeback

-Leaving school in March for a “few weeks lockdown” and now we’re here

Everyone knows he brews illegal moonshine but gets away with it because the local police chief is also one of his drinking buddies. What kind of a fucking power move is that.

He most likely has some kind of completely undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD, regularly gets idiotic whims that almost never work but people go along with them anyway because everyone knows that He Cannot Be Stopped.

Still managed to land an awesome wife that has enough common sense for both of them. Probably because he fucks so hard.

Pornography canonically exists in the moomin comics universe, but Pappa does not know what it is. Probably also because he fucks so hard and has never needed artificial stimulation.

One of the books subtly implies there are probably sex scenes in his (always unfinished) memoirs, and his wife knows him well enough to know he’d write them in (just how much did they actually fuck when they first met?), and also knows him well enough to politely ask he wouldn’t read those parts aloud to the children.

Everyone just calls him Moominpappa. He has one biological son (and has semi-adopted all his son’s friends) and we don’t even know his real birth name because everyone calls him Daddy.

Regardless of how you feel about the new season (I loved it, personally) Frost and Lynch feel so much open affection and warmth for the world they've created and the characters they made. There’s an interview where Frost says the first thing he thought when they were talking about the revival was 'we have GOT to meet Any and Lucy's kid!' And Andy and Lucy are not major characters, they’re more heartfelt comic relief, in clinical terms. But that was one of his first priorities and I think that says volumes about how they feel for their world.

I’ve joked before that the show has always felt like fanfiction because of the priority it places on the internal worlds of its cast and how much it indulges in itself. But like, the way Lynch and Frost encourage personal interpretation, and Frost literally ran a fanfic contest, encouraging fans to create alongside the world is so...goddamn refreshing after growing up with Sherlock's bullshit.

And a certain kind of watcher (uh...you know cinema bros) really don’t know how to handle the level of genuineness Twin Peaks exists on. It’s kind of sad, the show is essentially based on empathizing with its cast and they have no idea how to deal with that. They're confronted with scenes of minor characters living their lives and driving themselves up the wall with these pathetic conspiracy theories about how it’s 'SUPPOSED to be boring because it’s a COMMENTARY on modern television.' It’s like a far more insufferable version of the Johnlock conspiracy shit.

Hello everyone! I am so very pleased to announce that we are now collecting funds for Dashcon 2021!

That’s right! Coming March 2021, we will be holding the second official Dashcon in Schaumburg Illinois, featuring panels such as:

Love Wins: Destiel is Canon

An Introduction to ABO

Activism and Kpop: How Fancams Fight Fascism

Bernie, AOC, and other Woke Baes: Why We Love Them, and What They Mean for Our Ships

a 72-hour Hamilton sing-a-long all weekend

and acting lessons with special guest Jensen Ackles!

Donate here to help make Dashcon the best it can be! 💜

That last question feels hella loaded so let’s start with that one: anyone and everyone is allowed to look into the gods -part of Karelian heritage, even without Karelian roots. It’s no secret, we tell you readily about it. However, being allowed to study our gods has no connection to the fact that they’re local.

The idea comes from our culture, where lots of things are place-bound - humans as well. If you move a person from their home location too fast, too long a distance, or both, they’re in danger of losing one of their souls.

Karelian gods are tied to place in the same way a human is tied to a house she owns. She has power over things inside that house, she can freely decide how to spend her hospitality, and also whether she wants to spend any at all. The owner decides what goes inside her house, and even outside of it… to a point. Then, at some point, the area of her influence ends and someone else’s begins.

The size of the areas differ, but that doesn’t change the fact that all gods too have a place they call home.

This is why our gods are locally bound. It just happens that this is that area they call home. Outside of, say, Wellamo’s home are the homes of other lake gods, and claiming her as some kind of a supreme lake god who wields power over the rest of the worlds’ lakes would be kinda… idk rude? Show a lot of contempt and a massive superiority complex to the other cultures? Like, can you imagine people storming in to someone else’s land, bringing a god with them and stating this one is more important that yours?

Yeah, none of that please.

The world is full of gods. They all look after their areas, and sometimes people, that are around them. Karelian gods require you to go to them if you want their favour, you can’t ask them to come to you. I’m aware other cultures have gods that have no problem with a follower calling out to them and them answering, but Karelian gods would see that as you trying to bring them to heel (if they’d even hear you that is, there’s no guarantee they’ll notice you even if you were standing in their literal living room)(they’re notorious in that you only catch their interest by accident or chance).

If you’re not close enough to your gods, man, that sucks and I feel you. Sincerely, because I live in Iceland myself, far separated from mine. I can’t contact Wellamo from here, or Mielikki, to name the two whose grounds I was most frequently visiting. I also can’t contact the spirits of my home country, which made me feel rootless for so many years.

However, the upside is that the majority of our religion is ancestral worship! Ancestors will connect with you anywhere in the world, they don’t mind you calling to them! They’re your family, your anchor; they’re the central part of traditional Karelian beliefs. Spirits are a good second, and gods… they’re a bit of an afterthought. They’re still there, but they’re not as important as your ancestry. Your family at least has your interest in mind 100% of the time and will do anything they can to help you, unlike the gods, who are for most part indifferent about humans.