It's Beginning to Stink a Lot Like X-mAss
A guy is so lonely he curses Christmas and hates on the best holiday of the year. Santa will not stand for such an insult.
…
Twas the night before Christmas and muttering to himself at the local bar was a lonely man named Rudy. As he sat there with another bottle of beer he stared side eyed at the couples around him. A guy and his girlfriend, a woman with her fiance, lesbians, gays, they thems…everyone around sat hand in hand and glistening eyes. Except for Rudy. Another year, another Christmas where he’s single, who has no one to kiss under the mistletoe.
“Fuck Christmas,” he muttered, “and fuck these guys…”
Rudy had hoped to find some guy to come home with him. He’d hoped for a hairy daddy. Hell he’d take a thick twink so long as he could suffocate under heavy ass cheeks. But no cigar at this bar on Christmas Eve.
“fuck all these people,” Rudy, jealous of the hands grabbing at breasts and butts and lips kissing, “and Fuck Christmas.”
He was done, tossed back the rest of his beer, tossed a $5 bill tip, and hopped off the stool to head home.
Beyond the town up at the North Pole, Santa Claus sat at his workshop desk and checked over his lists when he felt a disturbance in the air. Someone had lost their Christmas spirit.
“Ho ho who dares to hate this holiday,” he concentrated and with Christmas magic he could see Rudy walking through the snow and kicking at rocks while he stumbled home.
“Oh ho ho…poor young man. Rudy, let’s see, Rudy Romero, ah what has got him down, what is in his heart…”
At first Santa was appalled at the hopes brewing in Rudy’s mind the longer he focused, but despite his current humbugging he was otherwise a Good Boy this year…did well at work, treated his friends with generosity, cared for his grandmother even.
“I suppose…” Santa rubbed his white beard, “if it will help…”
And so he stood up and transformed into a younger version of himself with thick brown hair and a strong build, albeit with a belly from milk and cookies.
The disguised Santa took a long swig of milk and said “Oh Rudy, I hope your little nose is ready…”
Rudy fumbled with his keys and continued to stumble up the stairs to his cheap studio apartment. He threw the door open and collapsed in his chair facing the TV. Should he get another beer? Turn on a movie?
“whatever” he mutters, “doesn't matter.” He opted for a couple Christmas cookies on a plate and a glass of milk. He slumped in his chair and felt his eyes go heavy. This Christmas would be another reminder of his loneliness. He eyed the fireplace and thought he should make sure the embers go out before he sleeps.
“wait, what? the fuck?” he had no fireplace in hsi apartment. at least he didn't have one before. Instead of the boring blank wall that was supposed to be there, a gorgeous brick mantle bordered a fireplace of ashy logs and low sparks dying out.
For a moment, Rudy thought he was dreaming. Or maybe something uncommon happened to him: someone had slipped a hallucinogenic in his drink. That idea seemed absurd, but not nearly as absurd as a fireplace appearing in his apartment.
And before he could question it more, he heard tumbling and thumping from the brick chimney and watched a puff of soot fall through to the embers. What in God’s name was happening?!
Then he appeared. Climbing out of the chimney was a tall, very tall, and broad shouldered beefy man draped in a large red velvet cloak. He had a thick dark brown beard and brown hair poking out of a velvet Santa hat, and under the cloak Rudy saw his naked chest coated in hair, his large belly, and very hairy legs like black fur. Only tight green boxer briefs covered what was clearly an impressive manhood. Rudy gulped and trembled under the man.
“This isn't real,” he gulped, “I’m dreaming,”
But the stranger smirked and put his hands on his hips, “Oh ho? Dreaming? Are you sure Mr. Rudy Romero?” His deep voice was powerful and booming.
He reached out and yanked Rudy up off his feet. Now he was terrified and wanted to scream but with the man’s grip he found he couldn't let out any sound, his scream stuck in his throat. Was he too paralyzed with shock to react? Or was the same magic which created the fireplace working in his throat?
“Oh ho ho Rudy, don't you know who I am?” He smiled a warm smile in his terrified face, “I’ve watched you grow your whole life, I heard all your wishes for every GI Joe, Lego set, Gameboy games, novelties, all until you were too big to believe in me.”
He could only blink, “B-But you dont look like Santa,”
“I suppose not, but you wouldnt be scared of an old man would you?”
“W-Why should I be scared?” He forced a little laugh “if you’re really Santa then you're a good guy, right?”
“I'm good for the nice boys and girls. But you’ve been naughty this year, Rudy. You are a naughty little boy. And you need to be punished.”
With that Santa tossed Rudy toward his recliner. He hit it and slid down onto the hardwood with his back against the chair and his head hitting the seat. He had no time to move but watched, almost in slow motion, as Santa yanked up his cloak, twisted around, and fell backward with his green covered ass crashing down onto Rudy’s face. The last thing he saw was the dark patch of sweat that outlined his ass crack right before the cheeks draped his face and his nose got wedged into the sweat patch.
His nose flattened and his face ground into the seat of his recliner, Rudy couldn't breathe at all. He thrashed around in the darkness of Santa’s ass cheeks and screamed into his crack where the underwear was most soaked in sweat. The heaviness of his body pressed down upon Rudy’s head and swallowed his face deep into his ass crack.
“Ah ha ho, milk and cookies, you must have known I was coming.” Santa kicked back in the chair and flipped on Rudy’s TV as if the poor man weren’t suffocating in sweaty man ass. The TV blasted some classic version of A Christmas Carol as Rudy struggled in vain, kicking his legs and clawing at the wood floor because he was quickly running out of air.
“Ho ho don’t worry, I’ll help you breathe,” Santa’s voice was reassuring.
Except he let out a longer-than-life fart.
PPTPRTPRTPRRPTPRTPRTPRPRPTRPPPPPP
Rudy choked and gagged on the thick rancid air which was no doubt made worse by so much dairy. And thanks to the Magic of Christmas, Rudy was able to breathe freely as if the gas were normal oxygen. In fact despite being crushed Rudy felt the gas fill up his lungs as if he were in the great outdoors and had the clearest sinuses in decades, even despite the alcohol which should have made them swollen and clogged. Unfortunately for Rudy he was able to suck in Santa’s ass blast and smell it all fully.
“Keep sucking these down, ho ho, I really don’t want to smell them.” Santa smirked, though it was gross it was nice to be in his young body and indulge in such an immature job.
And despite his violent gagging and flailing limbs in protest, Santa noticed something hard rising in his jeans.
“Oh ho ho you really are a naughty boy, a filthy naughty boy,” Santa bent down, letting Rudy’s eyes free for just a moment, to undo his belt, then zipper, and pull both his pants and boxers down.
He then got up just enough so Rudy could only see his big green ass, but then Santa pulled his underwear down revealing two large cheeks covered in thick black hair, with a very furry crack. Rudy’s eyes bulged open and he felt frozen staring up at Santa’s asshole, since Santa grabbed his cheeks and spread them wide to show how large and deep his crack really went. Without Rudy being able to mutter a word, and still in such shock he forgot to breathe, he lost his chance at fresh air because Santa fell back and his asshole swallowed Rudy’s nose completely.
PRTRPTPRTPRPTRTPTRPRPTPRTPRPTPRPPPPPPPPPP
Rudy was screaming up this giant ass which reeked so much worse, as if he hadn’t showered in…centuries, so many years of farts and sweat as his hole clenched and grabbed his nose. And Rudy could smell it all, it bloated his sinuses and lungs till almost bursting, it overflowed into his mouth and the pressure made him swallow.
His cock was throbbing hard now naked and free.
So Santa brought up his leg and decided to slowly rub it with his socked foot. Rudy could feel the material and the sweat and could even feel his precum leaking out. He could feel the orgasm welling up, his dick betraying him despite this obscenely disgusting situation, but as it was hot, red, and throbbing, Santa brought his foot up just before the cum could shoot.
That was as torturous as the gas.
The minutes rolled on with more farts bursting into Rudy’s lungs and throat, more stink making his eyes dripping in tears and his tongue recoiling. His feet continued to thrash about and he tried clawing at Santa’s legs, thighs, the sides of his ass cheeks, but even pulling at them couldn’t let a single gust of fresh air. Santa let his magic keep Rudy conscious and alive through nothing but his farts, no matter how much his stomach churned. And of course he kept rubbing and teasing Rudy’s cock with his feet, slowly rubbing up and down to bring him just to the edge, and then letting go. Each time Rudy screamed up his asshole, trying to beg him to stop and let him breathe or cum or both, but everything he said was muffled into the thick taint hair.
Santa watched the rest of the movie this way, raising the volume to ignore Rudy’s desperate cries. He even squirmed his hips a bit so he could use Rudy’s nose as an asshole scratcher. He assumed that helped grind the stink in further if that were even possible. He was glad he had some time to relax and take a break to let out all his gas before venturing on his nightlong trip around the world. And it was so much fun to play naughty games instead of acting like the jolly, boring, sexless grandfather version of himself he had to keep for the kids.
“Alright Rudy I suppose your punishment had been more than enough. However there is only one way I’ll get off you, and only one way to help you get the release you keep begging for,”
Santa got up just a bit, hearing Rudy gasp and suck down the only fresh air he’s tasted in two hours. He felt delirious from reeking farts and the insane amount of edging. In his hazy dreamlike state, his eyes fixed on the evil asshole that had kept him prisoner for so long.
“Tongue out, and slip it right up my asshole.”
Rudy couldn’t believe this was all real. He thought he was going to lose his mind. He had to stick his tongue out and kept it up with gusto.
Santa fell back down and could feel his hole swallowing up Rudy’s tongue. He licked furiously as if he were wolfing down Christmas dinner. Santa could only laugh while moving his hips to massage Rudy’s face with his heavy ass cheeks. He enjoyed himself for a few minutes. Meanwhile, Rudy was nearly smothered by the constant mashing of his face, feeling the stink rotting deep into his skin.
And as Santa’s feet returned on either side of Rudy’s cock, stroking it slowly and watching the precum drool out, he decided to finally end this “punishment”.
This fart made a revolting sound over Rudy’s tongue and echoed in his cheeks, gushing into his nose and burrowing deep into his brain.
And his cock shot out thick ropes of cum all over his shirt, and Rudy let out a forceful relieved moan, almost screaming at the mix of pleasure and disgust.
Feeling his tongue go limp, Santa peeled his cheeks off of him and turned around to see him on the verge of passing out.
“So tell me Rudy, what do you think about Christmas?”
His voice was far away, “I love it. I love Christmas. I’m sorry Santa I fucking love Christmas. I’ll never hate Christmas again I swear. Oh my God I love Christmas.”
Santa smiled and as quickly as he arrived, he vanished in a little flourish of magical snowflakes, leaving Rudy a disheveled wreck sitting on the floor with his naked ass and his torso coated in a larger than usual load of cum. He shivered and trembled with each breath of fresh air. His nose was rubbed raw and red from being stuck inside the asshole for so long.
Left behind under the tree, Rudy would wake up the next morning and find a present, inside wrapped up tight was a pair of green boxer briefs which reeked of Santa's manly ass. The card read;
Something for you to remember me by. Merry Christmas, Rudy the Red-Nosed Fart Sucker.
p.s. I'll be coming back for those next year, and I expect a plate of cookies and a tall glass of milk with your face ready to be my chair again. Make sure not to wash them.
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