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~A

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Intelligence is knowing why a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put tomatoes in a fruit salad. And philosophy is wondering if this makes ketchup a smoothie.

Horror movies should really add a blooper section at the end to help calm people down before they go to bed

In Moana the chicken has to be told not to eat rocks. Also in Moana…. The Rock has to be told not to eat the chicken.

If someone tells you to “hold your horses”, they’re asking you to be stable.

I met a guy today whose birthday is January 23, 1945. How cool would it be to say your birthday is 12345.

Home is where the water doesn’t taste weird.

i like to stay up at night because the world feels like it stops for a few hours and you don’t have any responsibilities