you have no idea how high i can fly

“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”

“Michael, you go to parties all the time. Why is tonight so special?” Well, tonight is so special because my boss's boss's boss, the CFO—not his initials, common mistake—is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company.

I have taken it upon myself to do something a little more special. I have painted a portrait of the two of them, and I have another one of them in the nude. But that one is for me.

Thanks, that's my bed. Jan has some space issues, so I curl up on that puppy.

MAGIC MAGIC Magic Magic magic magic... And now, Michael the Magic will attempt to escape from extreme bondage. Can he do it? I don't see how he can.

And it's all from the same series. Called 'Impressions.' Not that I call myself an impressionist, per se.

Two nights ago, I went to an Alicia Keys concert at the Montage Mountain Performing Arts Center. I scored these great aisle seats. Anyway, after the opening act this beautiful girl sits down next to me and I never get to meet girls with lip rings and she had one. I don't know exactly how this happened but one of her friends started passing around some stuff and they said it was clove cigarettes, and I'm sure that it was clove cigarettes. Everybody in the aisle was doing it.

Ok, well I did not get the job in New York, but I got the real prize, domestic bliss.

A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture. The file name is "Jamaican Jan Sun Princess."

The worst thing about prison was the dementors. 

Michael Scarn, well that's an interesting story. He was once the best secret agent in the business. That was years ago. Where is he now? Well, that's also an interesting story.

It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives.

So Jim, I noticed you checking out Jan's candles. - Oh no, she just put it in front of my face. Yeah, did you know that candles are the number one fastest-growing product in the scent aroma market? $2 billion dollar a year industry. And for only $10,000, you could become a co-owner of "Serenity by Jan." What do you think about that? -I'm sorry, are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company? I'm sorry. 

This is Michael Scott. Scranton. Well, we don't want to work. No we don't! It's not fair to these people. These people are my friends and I care about them! We're not going to do it! Everybody, I just got off the horn with corporate and basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday.