you take the high road and i'll take the low road

lianadavies: i’ll get you one day lianadavies: i do it just to annoy him tbh 

rebelmicah: m’shakin’! rebelmicah: that absolutely don’t surprise me

lianadavies: it’s not my fault that i’m short and that you wore shitty underwear okay  lianadavies: well he can go sit on a cactus  lianadavies: i do he’s called harry and he’s bae 

rebelmicah: y’gotta deal with it rebelmicah: i can’t believe y’say bae

lianadavies: yeah you’ve betrayed me by laughing at the awkward situations that seem to befall me every time i try to order a latte instead of saying ‘oh it’s okay liana it’s not you it’s the universe punishing you for being a boss ass bitch!’ lianadavies: what, i’m just being honest. i can guarantee you that if i drew a pentagram on my floor he’d appear and tell me i’m ‘not in a proper career path for women.’ or some gross shit like that. it would also piss off my roommate, so i think i should do it to prove my point. 

rebelmicah: it’s the universe punishin’ y’for bein’ the same obnoxious kid that tried and failed t’give me a wedgie every timey’saw me rebelmicah: probably. he ain’t ever pleased with anyone’s career path. rebelmicah: y’got a roommate?

lianadavies: i’ll either send you a middle finger one back or attempt to find one that expresses compete and utter betrayal  lianadavies: i’m really hilarious and i make bomb ass spaghetti and i’m not a boy and also yeah, satan isn’t my dad 

rebelmicah: betrayal?? rebelmicah: aw man, i’ve missed your complete lack of filter

lianadavies: i can practically hear you laughing at me and i like really don’t appreciate it lianadavies: that’s not the only reason but if you need to tell yourself that to sleep at night i won’t stop ya 

rebelmicah: what would y’do if i sent y’lots of those laughin’ emojis? rebelmicah: and what are th’other reasons? apart from not bein’ fathered by m’dad?

lianadavies: well there was this chick at starbucks today and then this old man but that might have been because he thought i was someone else, he had some bifocal thing goin on….i am not helping my case here lianadavies: yes i really would im a heartless bitch like that 

rebelmicah: keep goin’, this is funny rebelmicah: this is why addie always liked y’best

lianadavies: LOTS OF PEOPLE YOU RUDE ASS BITCH  lianadavies: well maybe i won’t come visit you then 

rebelmicah: name ‘em rebelmichah: would y’really break napoleon’s heart like that?

lianadavies: alright alright if you’re sure lianadavies: people say that about me too and then they talk to me, you’re not bein very convincing  lianadavies: ruuuuuuuude i’m a goddamn delight thanks very much 

rebelmicah: who calls you sweet and cute??? rebelmicah: oh sure

lianadavies: i think you underestimate what i’d do to make a rich white guy cry  lianadavies: okay so i think i could maybe handle that??? i don’t know???  lianadavies: i make everyone uncomfortable it’s my fave pastime 

rebelmicah: i wouldn’t exert yourself over him rebelmicah: m’not throwin’ y’in the deep end here. she’s pretty sweet and cute. rebelmicah: fuckin’ menace.

lianadavies: so we have to stage his murder then, what a cryin shame lianadavies: ooh a boxer??? that’s sick i like him already! i would totally blame you but he’s clearly a better person than i am so whatevs lianadavies: ….how little is she, like are we talking just out the womb or???  lianadavies: and i don’t hate kids they just make me uncomfy I’m soRRY 

rebelmicah: he ain’t worth gettin’ arrested for rebelmicah: we’re talkin’ nine goin’ on thirty nine rebelmicah: you made me uncmofortable when we were kids so it’s payback time

lianadavies: ALL OF IT who is she married to is he nice or do we hate him wHO IS GREYSON DATING AND CAN I MEET HIM also you ruined a birthday sexy session what are you satan????  lianadavies: it went out the window with your disregard for condoms clearly lianadavies: (no but forreal please be joking i don’t know how to interact with tiny humans) 

rebelmicah: well... if y’want my opinion rebelmicah: i think he’s a fuckin’ prick. one of those rich bastards. rebelmicah: greyson’s guy is a good egg though. he’s a boxer and doesn’t hate me for the blow job incident. rebelmicah: m’gonna make sure y’meet his little niece if y’hate kids. she’s somethin’ else. rebelmicah: her and napoleon get on GREAT

lianadavies: wow i forgot how helpful you are lianadavies: HOLD THE FUCKIN PHONE WHAT NOW???? lianadavies: right well we can’t talk anymore you’re too lame give napoleon my best mr. buzzdaddy 

rebelmicah: what’s trippin’ y’more? addie tyin’ the knot or greyson puttin’ his dick away. ‘cept he definitely hasn’t put it away fully because m’pretty sure i ruined his birthday blow job. rebelmicah: can’t believe miss high and might astronaut is disownin’ me, where’s the loyalty?

lianadavies: i’m still bitter af that i missed those, especially the shoe stabbing thing. speaking of, how is everybody???  lianadavies: i mean you could have gotten some office job or shaved your head or had a kid or something for all i know  lianadavies: you didn’t do any of that right 

rebelmicah: uh… addie is addie and greyson is greyson rebelmicah: actually funny story, addie got married and greyson got a boyfriend. and i got a guitar? rebelmicah: oh i did all of that. when i’m finished workin’ my 9-5 as a copy boy, y’can come visit me and my son napoleon. he has the same buzzcut as his daddy.

lianadavies: high school is overrated, you didn’t miss out on anything other than the opportunity to cartwheel down the stage at graduation and piss everyone off  lianadavies: unless you somehow got less cool then yes you are still my fave <3 

rebelmicah: i went to everyone else’s graduation. livvie was darlin’, addie nearly stabbed some guy with her shoe and greyson got drunk before his and didn’t even show up so we’re still not even sure if he’s still in high school or not. rebelmicah: like i could get less cool, ye of little faith

lianadavies: i’m still goin to space school!!! its just taking a lot longer than normal school, because we’re cooler lianadavies: i am great and awesome and fantastic how are you??? 

rebelmicah: aw see i didn’t go to any school after junior year rebelmicah: i am all of those adjectives and more rebelmicah: i’m still you’re favourite, right? just chekin’