mmakr

Coincidentally along with the budding flowers and sprouting branches of spring that made it through the winter, I too can feel myself growing and recovering from you. The color purple is now just a color again, Tuesday is just a day of the week, and my bedroom is once more only my bedroom. Song lyrics no longer sting and my lungs do not burn from crying. Don't get me wrong, I am not completely healed. Just because the weather is warm and I am beginning to bloom does not mean petals do not fall off. I still have the scars that you left me, and in a way they bring me comfort because they contain pieces of you. I am not entirely ready to leave you in the past yet, but damn does it feel good to know winter is over

more than friends, less than lovers. except friends don’t hold each other like that. friends don’t look at each other with longing and desire, as if we know we are something bigger. friends don’t make you feel like this. my being physically aches for you, in ways words cannot explain. are we really friends? or are we just two fearful people too afraid to love each other.

I want to tell you everything you make me feel when I’m around you, but I’m scared that if I do that’s what’s going to make you want to leave me. I want to tell you how I am obsessed with your scent. I want to tell you how I am consumed by your laugh. I want to tell you that... I love you.. No I don't want to tell you, I want to scream it and sing it and show it. But I know for certain you will leave me if I say anything remotely close to how I truly feel. So I keep quiet. If you leave me, I want it to be because you no longer want this or me, not because I opened my heart and what you heard was too much..

You fit me, you compliment me so perfectly. I just want a real chance with you. I want a chance at falling in love with you. Please let me in. Please just please jump. Close your eyes take a breath and jump. I promise you with every cell in my body it is going to be the most exhilarating, intoxicating, electrifying type of love you will ever experience. Just jump.

I am so scared. You have me terrified for my life because of how you make me feel. If you decide this isn't what you want... Make sure you're dressed in all black while you say goodbye because it will be the death of my ability to ever fall for someone again.