Mia | 20+ | Artist | Pianist | Anime | Part-time adult; full-time Levihan simp. I do house watercolor portraits on the side. Digital artist noob; sometimes I draw Levihan
Given how often they end up having to solve murders, drug trafficking, kidnappings, and other crimes do you think the Tokyo Metropolian Police Department would just make the Detective Boys official privet investigators or something along those lines. At this point they have more field experience than half the force.
I actually had an unfinished silly comic on THIS VERY TOPIC just sitting, fully scripted/thumbnailed on my desktop, so this ask inspired me to finish it up and post it. XD
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I'm completely speechless by this movie. It was way beyond any of my minimal expectations. It was extremely good!
I was baffled out of pure disbelief at how much main plot stuff they were revealing in this movie to the point that my brain fried. You could immediately feel that it was a movie you needed to rewatch multiple times in order to fully digest and appreciate its greatness. It was pure fanservice in the best way possible, not the botched M20 way, where fanservice scenes didn't feel earned, mystery being completely gone and main plot/cast characters getting sidelined. Everyone had their moment to shine.
After 15 years, I get a DC movie that finally topped M13 as my new all-time favorite DC movie. I was so thoroughly satisfied that I couldn't help but clap at the end.
Haibara (Sherry)
Haibara truly shined in this movie. Not only did she have proactive role in rescuing herself, Naomi and later Conan, but her personal romantic feelings, childhood past and current relationships with her dear friends were further fleshed out. I was floored by the degree that she got exposed, to the point of the OG antagonist Vodka standing right in front of her next to Pinga, ready to kidnap her, and then later interrogating her about her identity.
I truly adore how the movie also revealed what started the bullying she went through in America (protecting her fellow half-japanese) and how Naomi's story complimented Haibara's childhood. It was a beautiful touch having Haibara's childhood classmate Naomi realizing Haibara's true identity by the end of the movie.
I also love how the movie depicted how highly Haibara viewed Conan/Shinichi and his protective reassuring face. It was cute seeing her face light up with happiness when he showed up. I was shocked, but also very appreciative of how respectful she was trying to be of Shinichi's relationship with Ran (more than the fandom clearly) that she went to the degree of passing on her CPR kiss with Conan to Ran.
Mizunashi (Kir)
Kir was one of the big standouts in this movie. You could truly feel the shift in spotlight focus between her and Bourbon, seeing as Bourbon was truly put in the backburner for Kir to get more shine, and it was perfectly handled and a true overdue for her (since she has been neglected in the franchise overall). I couldn't stop grinning and appreciate her nonchalant stunts to aid in Haibara's escape by pretending to not know how to open the exit tube in the submarine so Vodka could thoroughly explain it as Haibara overhears everything through the transmitter.
I especially loved her less indirect and confrontational move towards Gin, when she directly interferred with his murder attempt of Haibara & Naomi, and how she calmly talked back at Gin when he aimed the gun at her. She was a true badass worthy of her NOC title, that I've longed to see in the series, only to get it in this wonderful movie.
Pinga
I really enjoyed Pinga's role in the movie as well, and especially appreciated how he wasn't written to be similar to Irish and Curacao (who had a more sympathetic antagonist development) but rather to be a more selfish greedy psychopath with more ambition than Gin, but less talented. It was interesting to learn how he was deep undercover as an engineer for interpol since 5 years back while disguised as a woman.
I especially enjoyed seeing his fights with Ran, and how she became a troublesome enemy for him (giving Ran good spotlight like in M13), as well as how Conan straight up shit-talked to him while giving Gin praise in comparison, to the point of riling Pinga up.
Vermouth
Vermouth was the true MVP in this movie. She had such a central role in saving Haibara from the organization's suspicion. It was extremely exciting to see Vermouth immediately sensing the potential of Naomi's All-age Recognition System (ARS) and how it could expose the boss identity and whereabouts, but more importantly to her, expose Shinichi's shrinking, that she'd rather keep hidden like a pandora's box. I was shocked and loved how she manipulated the Boss into giving her the order to destroy the ARS for his own sake, when she in reality wanted to not only conceal the current APTX shrinking effects from him, but also protect Shinichi. The way she used her disguising skills to invalidate the ARS' accuracy was just a genius move by her.
The biggest surprise to me was how she was revealed to be the old woman from the start in disguise, who was given the sale ticket for a Fusae brand brooch by Haibara out of selfless kindness, and how Vermouth was basically revealed to also be repaying that kindness back to Haibara by protecting her from the BO, further deepening her motivations and multi-faceted nature in such a beautiful way as she gazes at the confused Silver Bullet (Conan) who is questioning them after getting Bourbon's intel.
Rum & Karasuma Renya
The Biggest shocker in this whole movie was without a doubt the big reveal that Rum, the no.2 of the Black Organization, is unaware of the Boss' whereabouts in recent times and that, apart from having Pinga request Naomi to sell the ARS to them so they can modify it and also use it to erase the BO's activities in security cameras (according the boss' orders), had intended to use the ARS to locate Karasuma Renya (the Boss).
This was a huge bombshell reveal, yet to be revealed in the manga, that further clarified the current ongoings within the organization. It basically as good as confirmed that the Boss is hiding a de-aged form from his subordinates (including his very close associate, Rum) and that no one other than Vermouth is aware of his hidden whereabouts. This revelation is further supporting my "Child of seven (Nanatsu no ko)" theory (the Boss being a shrunken 7-year-old who is only contacting his subordinates through phone to hide his child appearance and maintain authority). This also further established a distrustful relationship between Karasuma Renya and Rum, seeing as the Boss has kept Rum out of the loop, and how Rum has persisted to locate the Boss against his wishes, creating a very small divide within the organization's power structure. This is extremely exciting for the future of the series and has gotten me very hyped for what's left of Rum's development in the Rum climax.
Conclusion
This movie was overall a 10/10 product, that gave all the fans outstanding fanservice. Conan's devotion to save Haibara, Ran's supportive contribution to the point of almost getting shot, Agasa's deeply moving heartfelt tears after Haibara's kidnapping, Kuroda's helpful backing of Conan, Bourbon's informational support and Akai's loyal aid in taking down the submarine were all just the tip of the iceberg. All the beautiful callbacks to canon events were also among the best of the fanservice. I especially loved Haibara's callback to how a child (Ayumi) had once changed her life through their actions (File 437), Pisco kidnapping her despite wearing glasses (File 240), Ran reminding Haibara of Akemi (like in File 434), Kir's callback to her father sacrificing himself for her in response to Naomi's cry (File 604) and all the moments Haibara recalled when Conan comforted and moved her (Bus hijack, Haibara intro, Reunion, etc).
Gosho's involvement in the story was clearly noticeable, just by the sheer quality of the movie, and all of his many drawn keyframes were beautiful.
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Itâs incredibly important to me that the anime decided to include this scene that wasnât in the manga. In the manga, Maomao does pass out in Jinshiâs lap after saving him from what was obviously an assassination attempt.
HOWEVER, the manga cuts off at this point, keeping strictly in Maomaoâs perspective, and cuts straight to when she regains consciousness in bed after being treated for her injuries. The manga doesnât show how she got back. They SAY how, and she briefly mentions, âwow that must have been embarrassing; he carried me back,â but we donât SEE it. We donât get to feel the true impact of what that means. But the anime DID show us, and holy shit.
They SHOW us how taboo this is. They show Jinshi carrying her out of the temple, after a public attempt on his life.
They show us the shock and horror on Lakanâs face as Jinshi silently walks past him. Horror at the state his daughter is in, horror at another manâa man with a status he could never dare to questionâstaking such a public claim over his child, horror at the fact that he could never have this level of closeness with her (as Maomao would never allow it).
Everyone hides their gazes, as is their custom when someone of his rank passes by, but the air is different this time. Jinshi is furious, heâs terrified, and he could not give a single shit about how inappropriate it looks to these palace officials.
The shot that slowly follows her trail of bloodâeven though itâs a small detailâthat in particular leaves such a intense impression of how poignant this is for him.
Maomao talked about this scene in the manga like it was nothing to her. She did what she set out to do: she saved the person who was targeted by the attack. She didnât even know the target would be someone she knew. But she has no idea that this happened afterwards as a result of her bravery. To her, it likely wasnât even an act of bravery at all. She acted on impulse; she did what she knew was the right thing to do.
The anime didnât need to include this, because the manga didnât show it. But damn, Iâm so glad they did.
Shinichi took part in the class reunion, which hadn't gone as he had thought of: His mother and Sonoko had claimed that he still loved Ran was the most ridiculous thing, and even if that's not enough, his old classmates had taken him to the nightclub and finally Ran had taken him to the dancefloor. Though he had had fun and finally remembered every detail that he had loved in RanâŚ
A/N: Happy New Year to everyone ⤠Without any other words, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6: Acceptance
Those blue eyesâŚÂ
They were still so beautiful, so captivating. Ran could have stared at them the whole day without getting tired of them. They were something that Ran wanted just to drown in. She had forgotten how soft and yet firm his hands were around her, she had forgotten how safe she still felt in his arms, how comfy it was to feel him close to herâŚ
And she felt him coming closer to her. That same, familiar warmth that she had always felt while being near to him, calling her closer, asking her attention. She felt his breath mixing with hers and those same butterflies started to fly around her stomach the same way as when they kissed for the first time. She couldnât wait to feel his lips, afterâŚ
And it all disappeared so fast, leaving Ran in the cold. Confused she opened her eyes, meeting Shinichiâs terrified face. She frowned. What wasâŚ
And only then she realised what she had done. And she stepped away from him.
âI⌠Iâm⌠IâŚâ She tried to say something, but somehow any word didnât come out. She looked away, trying to avoid those blue eyes that were looking at her. She just couldnât meet his eyes and⌠andâŚ
What were you thinking?! Trying to kiss a man who was in a relationship with someone else, who is going to be married one day? From all the people she, who had always been loyal and thought that she would never seduce anyone who would be in a relationship or be a part of someoneâs cheating, was here, trying to kiss him! He who she knew was also loyal, kind-hearted, someone who would never cheat.
What in the world was she doing?!
âI⌠Just⌠I need to go to the bathroomâ, she said fast and turned around, walking fast to the closest toilets. She just needed to get away, away from him, away from those blue eyes. She needed time, needed to be alone, and⌠andâŚ
She just opened the first door and went inside, locking the door behind her. Yet, she avoided the mirror, looking only at the sink until she got closer and opened the tap. She just couldnât face herself.
She was so ashamed.
She lowered and washed her face with cold water. She knew she was ruining her makeup, but she needed it, she really needed it. She needed to shape up, get hold of herself, and⌠andâŚ
And yet it made her feel only worse, and it was because somehow all those per milles that she had had, felt like they were washed away too. It made her only more aware of what she had done.
You stupid, what were you thinking? She couldnât answer for it. She really couldnât. She didnât have any idea what she had thought or how in the world she had dared to try to kiss him.
God, who was she trying to kid? All the thoughts that had been in her head in that moment had probably been how handsome he had looked. Again, she had fallen into those beautiful blue eyes, into that irresistible smile, let herself lull in his soft voice, wrapped herself in those strong and safe arms. She had let herself fall again under his charm and somehow forgot that he was engaged to someone else. She had let her guard down and lost that control that she had had.
Or had she had any? She started to doubt it. When it came to him, maybe she had never had any kind of control. And even a thought of that made her desperate. Why she hadnât realised it? Why she had thought that she could still spend some time with him like in high school? How she had thought that it wouldnât affect her in any way, even when she had known that she still had feelings for him? If she had been so shocked about hearing him having a fiancee, how she had thought that she could still be with him as a friend?
Maybe that idea had only been there because she had been so sad about the truth that tomorrow he would be gone again. She had been so sad about the truth that she had met probably the most important person in her life again, after five years, and her heart would have a big hole just because he would be gone again. All she had thought had probably been that she would want to spend as much time with him as she could before losing him again.
It seemed to be a mistake. And now she had destroyed that little what they have had. She wouldnât be surprised if⌠ifâŚ
And when she raised her face, looking at herself from the mirror, she saw tears flooding on her cheeks.
This whole class reunion has been a mistake.
Shinichi just stood there, staring at the empty place in front of him. For a moment ago, Ran had been there, but now she was gone and he wasnât even sure where.
And all his feelings were mixed up together, and he wasnât even sure where to start or what to think.
What to think? Well, that was a good question. Because what in the hell was he thinking? For a moment he had just danced with Ran, having fun, laughing with her, but in another second he had caught himself trying to kiss her. Why? Why?! He would never cheat on his love with anyone, not for any reason, because that wasnât right! Because that was something that he wouldnât want to be done to him either. When there had been problems or doubts or something, he had always talked about them with another one. Because he believed that talking before doing anything unforgivable was the better option.
And yet, here he was. He had forgotten his fiancĂŠe and almost kissed someone else. And what was the most unbearable thought was the truth that he hadnât thought about Julia, not even for a moment. Not until he had almost touched Ranâs lips.
Why he hadnât realised it sooner? Why hadnât he stopped earlier? Where had he even got the urge to kiss her so suddenly?
âYou still love her.â
No, I donâtâŚ
âI donât think you really let go of Ran-chan.â
Shinichi closed his eyes and shook his head trying to get those words out from his head. He did let go of Ran, right? He really did! The reason why he left was to give him more time to move on and leave her behind, and⌠andâŚ
Why did he still feel like a loser? Like he was just lying to himself?
Shinichi opened his eyes and raised his left hand enough to look at the engagement ring. He loved Julia. He really did. He had meant it when he had asked her to marry him. ButâŚ
But.
Shinichi let out a heavy sigh and turned to leave. He glanced at tables where all his high school classmates were, having fun, and for a moment he hoped that he could be there with them. He kind of wished that he would have stayed with them, being as carefree as they were right now. Laughing with them sounded a much better option than fighting with his feelings and thoughts.
Just forgot how - again - he had just messed up his life.
It was his time to leave before anything else would become more complicated. And part of him wanted to say goodbyes to them, because after tomorrow, he wasnât sure when he would meet or hear about those people again, but he was also pretty sure that they would try to make him stay longer. And right now, he wasnât really in the mood to fight with them. So he avoided their tables as much as possible and left without saying anything. It was a little chill outside, but he still decided to walk: the hotel wasnât that far, and he needed a little time to think about what he was going to do.
Because that was sure that he needed to talk with Julia. But then what?
He felt lost. As lost as he felt after the breakup with Ran.
Well, maybe the first step was to finally admit the truth. And even though he didnât like it - and even less because it seemed that his mother and Sonoko had realised it sooner than him - it was the truth. After what had happened, he just couldnât lie to himself anymore.
He still loved Ran. He loved her more than anything. More than Julia.
But what would happen next? What he would do with that truth?
As long as he was in love with Ran, he knew that he wouldnât be worth Julia. It wouldnât be fair for her that he would dream about someone else. He wasnât even sure if he could live with Julia in the same way as he had done at this point. He couldnât give all his love to her, as much as he would like to. Because a big part of it belonged still to Ran, and as long as he was still clinging to Ran, he couldnât be there for Julia.
But could he get over Ran? He wasnât sure anymore. Even for a few days ago, he was sure that he was over her. God, it could have been thought that after five years he would have gotten over her and lost his romantic feelings for her, but joke on him, there he was, proving himself wrong! And if he hadnât gotten over her over five years while trying to work on it, how he could do it now? How many five years he would need more?
Because even though his mother applied something else, he was still pretty sure that he had done everything to get over Ran. Even though it had hurt, he had finally opened up and talked about his feelings and their breakup with other people, including Julia. And every time it had made him feel better, but it seemed that any of that hadnât really taken away his feelings or changed them. The only reason - probably - why he hadnât felt like this, was because he hadnât seen or heard about Ran in a long time. He had kind of moved her aside, âforgotâ her, lived in his little bubble, and pretended to be happy and in love with someone else. And now that bubble had been pierced.
So he wasnât sure if going back to America and trying to be with Julia was a very good option. Not if he couldnât get over Ran. Which kind of left him with one other option.
He would break up with Julia.
He would do the same that Ran did to him over five years ago.
Well, he should talk with Julia before making any harsh decision, and to be honest, he didnât feel good about this, but deep down he already knew his decision. He even hated that one, but he also knew that it would be the better - both of them. He was madly in love with someone else and Julia deserved better. He couldnât promise to get over Ran if he wasnât even sure he could do that.
But if he broke up with Julia, what would he do then?
Shinichi stopped in front of the hotel where they were staying and looked at its front. Even though he knew that the first thing was to talk with Julia, he still felt so lost. Even though he knew deep down that breaking up with Julia was probably the most reasonable solution, he still didnât like it. He still remembered how it had hurt when Ran had told him about her decision, and to be honest, he didnât like to hurt anyone ever again.
But if he didnât get over Ran, he would hurt Julia anyway. He would always hurt her.
Shinichi let out a sigh. Well, he was probably thinking this too much. It was almost midnight and Julia was probably sleeping already. His chance to talk to her would be in the morning. And that made him feel uneasy because part of him would have liked to get over this as soon as possible, but at the same time, maybe this would give him more time to prepare.
Though he wasnât sure how he could prepare for it. Could anyone be ready for a talk like that? And he was pretty sure that these thoughts and feelings wouldnât let him sleep.
The hotelâs doors opened and he stepped inside. Somehow his feet felt heavier and his walk just slowed before he stopped middle of the lounge. He felt like he wasnât ready to go to their room, not at all. He lowered his head, looking at the floor.
Part of him wanted to turn to his parents and talk about this whole mess. He knew that they probably couldnât help him, but maybe he just wanted to talk about this with someone, get it out of his chest, and maybe they could give him some kind of advice or something. But he didnât feel very proud of himself right now, and even though he knew his parents would be kind and wouldnât judge him - and it probably wouldnât surprise them that he still loved Ran -, he still felt like they would be ashamed of him. He knew that he was wrong, but he couldnât help it.
But if he would stay alone, he would just feel guilty about the whole mess he had made. And he wasnât sure if he could just go to their room and lie down beside Julia like nothing had happened. That would probably only make him feel more guilty.
Maybe he just should turn to his parents. They would understand, right? And even the idea, of spending the whole night alone with these thoughtsâŚ
âShinichi!â
And even if he wanted to say that voice was the best thing he knew, hearing it made him feel sick. He hadnât waited to hear that voice this soon. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldnât vomit right there.
He wasnât ready for this.Â
Yet he opened his eyes and raised his head to see, how Julia ran to him, looking surprised, but happy. Her hair was in a bun and she had a nice dress and high heels, and Shinichi was pretty sure that she had been in the hotelâs restaurant with his parents.
And even though he had a moment ago wondered if he should speak with his parents, now he started to hope that they wouldnât come out to witness that exact moment when their only son was going to mess up everything he had.
And it was enough that Julia was there, smiling happily and those bright eyes looking at him. It just made everything harder. Even though he knew that it would be best just to tell her everything, he hated to be the one who would swipe that happiness away from her.
But whatever he would do, he would make her life just miserable.
âHey, darlingâ, she greeted him in English, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Shinichi hugged her back even though that little gesture felt also so wrong. âI thought you would be back laterâ, she continued before kissing him on the cheek and moving a little away to meet his face. âHowâŚâ Yet, that question died there while that happiness changed into a worried look. âIs⌠everything okay?â
And Shinichi let his hands drop, making her take a step away from him. Yet, he observed those light blue eyes and thought about this one last time. She was nice and kind, energetic, he liked her. Not strong-willed but loving. He genuinely loved her, he really didâŚ
But not as much as he loved Ran. She was strong-willed, had her own mind, and dared to say what she was thinking, didnât turn around because he said so. Her touch was soft, her orchid-colored eyes special, and her smile the most beautiful. With her, everything was easy, comforting⌠She made his head pound, she made him stare at her, wanting to memorize all details of her, every shape of her, observe her every movement, learn her every mood, every expression, everyâŚ
She was still the mystery that attracted him. The mystery he wanted to investigate, learnâŚ
And Julia could never be that close.
And even though he would go back to America with her, trying to forget Ran again⌠It wouldnât be fair to her.
Julia deserved better. Better than this.
Better than him.
âShinichi?â
âI⌠I almost kissed her.â
âWh⌠what?â
Shinichi closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, before meeting her eyes again. They were mixed in confusion, but at the same time, he could see a hint of sadness and hurt.
âRanâ, he said finally. âI⌠I almost kissed her.â
And seeing how that confusion changed into sadness and hurt, he knew she had understood where he was going with this. He wanted to say something, but he had no words. He didnât feel good just to tell her that it was over, but at the same time, he didnât want to say out loud that he still loved Ran.
âSo⌠You still love her?â
Well, she said it. And looking at those eyes made Shinichi feel pretty bad. Over five years ago, he had looked at different colored eyes that looked exactly the same, and back then, even though the situation had been a little different, he had hoped that he wouldnât be the reason for those hurt and sad eyes, but it seemed that he couldnât do anything else than bring misery.
He dropped his eyes because he just couldnât look at her any longer. âI doâ, he admitted. âMore than anythingâ, he added before he could stop himself.
âWhy?â
The question made Shinichi raise his head to look at her. She looked angry. âWhy?â she repeated. âWhy do you still love her that much? After all this time? God, she was the one who threw you away, she was the one who broke your heart! She was the one who left you and moved on, and still, you care about her enough to leave everything else behind you?â
âShe had her reasonâ, Shinichi said. âI lied to herâŚâ
âJust to keep her safeâ, Julia shouted. âAnd if she would have loved you as much as you love her, she would have understood it!â
Shinichi felt how something cracked in his heart. âJuliaâŚâ
âWhat in the world makes her so special that you still can love her?â
Shinichi lowered his eyes. Everything, he wanted to answer. You have met her, you can tell, he wanted to say. Like he could name anything or even tell. This was ridiculous, because Shinichi had always had some explanation for everything, something reasonable to explain himself, but this time, he just couldnât. It was a feeling that he had. When he was near Ran, everything felt somehow different: relaxed and comforting, and yet a little bit exciting. Every time Ran was away, he missed her, thought of her, wondering what she was doing, if she was okay. And every time he thought about her, he just wanted to see her. He just wanted to be close to her, be with herâŚ
He didnât wait for Ran to take him back. Even less now that he had tried to kiss her. Hah, who even would want to man who was ready to kiss another woman behind his fiancĂŠe? But even though he knew that his chances with Ran were long gone, he just couldnât make himself hate her or stop feeling like he did. Because he understood that she had her reasons and they were understandable. He didnât blame her.
âShe just⌠isâ, he said finally and let out a weak laugh, because his answer was so childish, so stupid. Yet, he couldnât give any better. âEverything just feels so much different with herâ, he continued and met Juliaâs eyes finally. âI donât say I didnât feel good being with you, but somehow, with Ran, everything I feel with her goes even further. Like⌠far beyond.â He shrugged. âI canât explain it, really, but⌠for me, she is special.â
âSo special that after everything, you would go back to her if she would give you a chance?â
Shinichi smiled shortly. âI wouldâ, he answered. He wasnât proud of that answer, but he knew deep down that it was the truth. Ran could throw him away as many times as she would like to, but he would be fool enough to still love her and go back if she would just ask him to. But then he let out a sigh. âBut she wonât want me backâ, he said, feeling another sting in his heart, but tried to ignore it. âShe had said it herself.â
âGoodâ, Julia said much harsher than Shinichi waited for. âBecause I think she doesnât deserve you.â
âNoâ, Shinichi corrected. âI think I donât deserve anyone.â
âYouâre wrong, Shinichiâ, Julia said and her expression softened. Shinichi observed how she came closer, lowering her hand to his chest⌠âYou deserve only the bestâ, she said with a smile.
I donât, he wanted to argue.
Julia lowered her head for a moment before meeting his eyes again. âIf you need more time to get over her, we can take a breakâ, she suggested, smiling at him. He could still see tears in her eyes. âYou can take as much time as you need. I will wait. As long as you need me to.â
Shinichi lowered his eyes and smiled.
âI asked someone once to wait for meâ, he said silently. âAnd she waited. As long as I needed her to. And for what?â He raised his head and smiled at her sadly. âIâm not worth waiting. Donât waste your time for me.â
âShinichiâŚâ
âReallyâ, he stopped her. âBecause⌠As much as I want to say I can get over her, somewhere deep down I know that I canât. And⌠Itâs not fair to you. Itâs not fair to waste your time if I canât get over her.â He kept a little pause. âIf I canât give you back as much as you deserve.â
Julia still kept looking at him, tears in her eyes, like pleading, hoping for a difference. And Shinichi looked back, determined. He felt bad. He really did. But it was for her best. She wouldnât wait for him, she didnât need to go through the same as Ran once did. Instead, she would have all the time to get over this and⌠and find someone who would deserve her and could make her happy.
But even though Shinichi felt a little bit better, he had no idea what he would do next. Probably like Julia, he had thought of going back to America, marrying Julia, and maybe starting a family with her, but now that has changed. All he seemed to know to do was to break his own and others' hearts, and it seemed that again he was the one who would carry that sadness on his shoulders. He felt like he was at the same point as he was five years ago. He was lost again.
âI canât turn you around, can I?â, Julia said finally.
âYou canâtâ, he said. âItâs better this way.â
She let out a broken sigh, yet, even though there were tears in her eyes, she smiled.
âIf I can be honest, I⌠I was a little afraid this would happenâ, she continued and looked a little down. It made his heart crack. âThat day, I⌠I saw how you looked at her, andâŚâ She let out a broken laugh. âWell, I realised that you may still like her.â
God, had it really shown from him? But if Julia had seen it and suspected something, why hadnât she said anything?
âIâm so sorry, Juliaâ, he said finally and lowered his head. âI should have realised it sooner. I should have realised that Iâm not over her andâŚâ He let out a weak laugh. âI still think I like you, pretty much, but⌠butâŚâ
âIâm not her.â
âYouâre notâ, Shinichi admitted. âShe is just⌠She is just something⌠special.â
âWell, you can tell it to herâ, Julia said finally. Shinichi frowned but observed how Julia took the engagement ring from her finger and grabbed Shinichiâs hand, putting it on his palm. Then she met his eyes again. âBecause of what I have seen and heard, I think she loves you too.â
Shinichi frowned at the same time when Julia let go of her ring and took a step away from him. âRan?â he asked confused. Then he let out a dry laugh and shook his head. âI have told you, she doesnât like me like that anymoreâŚâ
âReally?â she asked unamused and looked somewhere behind him. âThen why she is here, then?â
Slowly, Shinichi turned around to look at the outdoors. And to his surprise, Ran stood there, looking at them, like she wasnât sure if she should come closer or leave.
How much she had seen?
âI take my things and take another roomâ, he heard Julia say. He turned to look at her, and she had already turned her back to him.
âJuliaâŚâ
âWe are fineâ, she said without turning to look at him. âBut if you excuse me, I feel like I need to go to cry my heartbreak out, so⌠I need a little bit of time to myself.â
He knew he had done enough already, but he wished he could do something to make her feel better or take that pain away. But he couldnât do anything else than say: âIâm sorry, Julia⌠I really am.â
She looked at him over her shoulder, trying to smile. âYou and me both, Shinichiâ, she said before turning and walking away.
âShinichi?â
Nice. He had just broken up with his fiancĂŠe, and now he needed to face his ex, whom he still loved deeply.
What a mess he had arranged again. But maybe he deserved this.
âRanâ, he said and turned to look at his childhood friend who had come closer to him, looking worried and like she had⌠cried. And he also realised that she had lost her make-up. To be honest, he wasnât sure if she had even worn one, but something about her face was different, so it made him believe that she had had one. âWhat are you doing here? I thought you had fun with others.â
She frowned and looked even more frustrated. âWell, I⌠IâŚâ It seemed that she didnât get out any words, and instead, her eyes wandered to the elevator. It took a moment before she asked: âWas she angry with you?â
Shinichi turned a little bit to look at the elevator door which behind Julia had disappeared a moment ago. âYeahâ, he answered simply, and as a habit, he put his hands on his trousersâ pockets.
âI⌠I can explain everything to her.â
Shinichi frowned. âExplain what?â he asked and turned to look at Ran. He didnât follow what she was talking about. âThere is nothing to explain anymore.â
âWe- wellâŚâ Ran seemed to be nervous. âShe was angry because⌠because of me. Right?â
Shinichi shook his head. âNoâ, he said. âShe isnât angry because of you.â
âBut I tried to kiss you.â
Shinichi knew it was late already and he was pretty sure that he had drunk only that one beer that Ran had offered him, but somehow he felt like he was so lost. To be honest, he wasnât even sure what had happened during that âalmost kissâ: He just remembered looking at Ranâs eyes and got some urge to kiss her, and when he had realised what he was doing, he had stopped himself, and then Ran had been gone. So it had been his fault, right? He had tried to kiss her.
Maybe Ran was just trying to take the blame to save him.
âNo. I tried to kiss youâ, he corrected. âAnd she isnât angry because of that, but because we broke up.â
âYou⌠you broke up?â Ran asked, looking even more sad. âBut⌠why?â
Shinichi looked away. âWhat does it matter?â he asked and turned to walk to the couches. He sat down on one of them before raising his hands and rubbing his face. What a day he has had: An argument with his mother, the class reunion, Sonoko claiming that he and Ran were still in love with each other, then Ran taking him to the dancefloor, he had almost cheated on his fiancĂŠe and finally broke up with her.
But there was still one mystery: âBut why are you here?â he asked finally and dropped his hands to look at Ran, who had followed him with slower steps like she was hesitating to follow him. She stopped in front of that couch, yet she didnât sit. She met his eyes before lowering her gaze to the floor.
âWell, I⌠I was worriedâ, she said finally and glanced at him fast. âYou disappeared so suddenly and I⌠I thought you left, and⌠andâŚâ She stopped. Then she finally looked around and turned to sit down on that same couch, just leaving a little space between them. Then she just stared at her hands which she kept on her lap, looking somehow bothered.
âIâm so sorryâ, she said finally.
âRanâŚâ Shinichi sighed.
âBecause if I hadnât tried to kiss you, you wouldnât have to tell Julia and she wouldnât be madâŚâ
âRan, stop!â
Ran shut her mouth. Shinichi took a deep breath before opening his mouth again. âListen. It didnât happen because of you okay?â he said. âIt happened because of me. Because I broke up with her. Because I didnât want to hurt her more than I have hurt you. Because⌠Because IâŚâ He lowered his eyes, looking at the floor. Well, there goes nothing. âBecause I still love youâ, he said finally. And before he could stop himself, he continued: âMore than anything else.â
âShinichiâŚâ
âSo I did what was rightâ, he said, hoping to stop Ran from saying anything else. He didnât need her pity, he didnât want it. Yet, he opened his hand and looked at the engagement ring. He remembered how he had bought it for her, how he had carried it in his pocket wherever he had gone with her, only waiting for the right moment. And how he had finally kneeled in front of herâŚ
âI really loved her thoughâ, he said finally, closing his hand. âI wonât lie: when I went to America, I just wanted to take some distance from you.â He collected all his courage to meet Ran. âI was so jealous of you when I saw you with someone else and I was so heartbroken from the truth that you looked so happy and free without me. So, I thought that some time with my parents would give me enough space so that when I came back, I wouldnât feel so bad. In the end, for me, the most important thing is that you are feeling fine and safe. And if it is without me, then so be it.â He kept a little pause, looking at his hands again. âBut I got my chance to study there, and I met her⌠And of course, some other people. But I told them about you and our relationship and I really worked hard with it. I wanted to get over you and my feelings because it was the only right thing to do. And I did and then I fell in love with Julia, I genuinely did. But⌠But then I came back to Japan, met you again, andâŚâ He let out a laugh because he felt really, really stupid. He straightened himself only to lean on the couch back and look at the ceiling. âAll this time I had lied to myself, thought I could love someone and give my heart to them, let them be something special for me. But⌠It has always been you.â Then he turned to look at Ran. âAnd probably will always be.â
And he could see how tears glimmered in her eyes. âIâm⌠Iâm so sorry, Shinichi.â
And even though he had known it all this time, it felt like she had broken his heart again. His mother, Sonoko, and even Julia had been wrong. She didnât feel the same. And even though he hadnât had time to build any new plans on that, maybe, deep down, he had hoped that maybe, maybe there would be even a little chance to him, that maybe they could try at least one more timeâŚ
âI just threw you away five years ago because I was always doubting you and all your words. I didnât talk about it even though now I realised that I should have said about it. Tell you about it. And only after you disappeared, I realised that I was just looking for someone like you in my lifeâ, Ran continued with a cry, making Shinichi out of his miserable thoughts. âAnd when you finally came back, I was so happy to see you and all, but when you introduced your fiancĂŠe, I was⌠I was so heartbrokenâ, she said, and even though she was wiping her tears, she smiled. âBecause I had been so selfish and hoped that one day, I would meet you again and I would get one more chance, because⌠because I still love you.â
RanâŚ
âI met Julia-san just because it seemed to be important to you, but⌠but all I wanted to do was cryâ, Ran admitted. âBecause even though I thought you deserved only the best and all the happiness, I⌠I was so heartbroken because I just⌠just⌠wanted you back. I also knew that the class reunion would be a mistake, but I still wanted to spend even a little more time with you before⌠before you would leave again.â Then she started to cry and covered her face with her hands. âIâm⌠Iâm so sorry Shinichi. About⌠everything.â
Shinichi looked at her crying before straightening himself and gently, wrapped his arms around her, making her lean on him. âItâs okay, Ranâ, he said while pressing his head against hers, closing his eyes and listening to that familiar cry. âIâm so sorry too.â
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Drawing inspiration from prompt challenges. Twenty prompts, twenty sentences of twenty words each. Fluff and angst. Pairing, ShinRan.
Dominant - âWhat do you mean? Weâre not competing,â Shinichi laughs, licking his lips, âWeâre in love, âcourse Iâll let you lead.â
Wartime - He reaches for her hand despite every resisting muscle under the armor â after all, how dare he aid the enemy?
Sleep - The tranquilizing dart is ready behind his back, then she says, âDonât you dare, Shinichi⌠let me finish for once.â
Pattern - Whenever he returns, she doesnât say âYouâre backâ â for a tiresome pattern of two years, he never is, never was.
Discipline - âOn your knees, Shinichi,â Ran glares and Shinichi bites back a menacing smirk, taking that as reward more than punishment.
Outcome - The worst combo -Â murder case during a long-awaited anniversary date -Â leaves him with the worst outcome:Â Ranâs week-long silent treatment.
Champion - Shinichi champions himself as a smart man, but Ran somehow manages to dumb him down everytime she smiles like that.
Waste - âItâs not wasted time if spent with people you loveâŚâ Shinichi glances at Ran, ears red, his words fading shyly.
Hidden - âWait for meâ â hidden in Shinichiâs study, she reminisces the ten-year-old plea, forlorn smile confirming her final answer to Araide.
Award - To Shinichi, it isnât the trophy that matters most, but Ranâs grin of victory from the bleachers everytime he scores.Â
Book - Shinichi can read Ran like an open book - god he wished he couldnât - because heâs down to the last page.
VCR - Ran smiles, a wistful one, before playing the cassette, a â96 news recording, âSee, thatâs your dad right there, Sakura-chan.â
Mob - She goes past the mob into the source of commotion, stunning Shinichi and the knife-wielding culprit with a roundhouse kick.
Speech - A declaration of love, a fearless kiss â Shinichiâs always one for dramatic flair, and tonight, he jumps off a cliff.
Sinner - Maybe he shouldnât stay here, wrapped in the arms of an Angel, for sinners like him donât deserve hundredth chances.
Immortality - Count Shinichi clutches at the faded photograph, and weeps â to live another century without this woman is his death sentence.
Girlfriend - âWhat if I stop calling you my girlfriendâŚâ before Ran can react, Shinichiâs on one knee, a ring in hand.
Shaking - Ran thought nothing could scare him, until a shaking hand grips hers after the dentist chirps, âThis wonât hurt, Kudou-kun!â
Westbound - Of the many times theyâve visited Osaka, they arrive with hands entwined this time, and Heiji and Kazuha are thrilled.
Holiday - May 4th isnât a holiday, but she leaves work early anyway; otherwise, nobody will light the candles on his grave.
my writing fundamentally changed forever ten years ago when i realized you could use sentence structure to control peopleâs heart rates. is this still forbidden knowledge or does everyone know it now
Okay, so a few people have asked for me to cite the dark magics at them, and iâm super happy to share because itâs my favorite thing ever.Â
so, letâs see if i can explain this the same way that i learned. read a sentence out loud. you come to a full stop when you hit the period, and you take a normal, breath. but, when you hit a comma, you take a slightly longer pause. and when you hit a dash - you take an even longer pause.Â
this is a natural rhythm that we pick up when weâre first taught to read; we do it without even thinking. but when you start to think about it, you realize that it can become a tool.
think of your heartbeat. a period is badump. a comma is badump-dump. and a dash is thump badump. one breath. a longer breath. two breaths.
that means what you read automatically affects the rhythm of your breathing and your heartrate. which means that you can control the amount of physical tension your reader feels⌠by altering your punction and your sentence structure.
for fast paced scenes, you use short sentences. a lot of hard stops. mostly periods, with just a few commaâs thrown in for the full breath. your readerâs heartrate accelerates. their breathing is slightly and unintentionally, on their end, quicker. you hit the dramatic ending of the scene - and your readerâs body phsyically feels the gasp, the breath of fresh air, of these longer sentences.
now, read that paragraph again ant take note of your natural pauses, and how it subtly affects your breathing.Â
the same thing can be said of commaâs and dashes. while they can be used as a breath of fresh air, they can also cause a new line of tension as they lead your reader to hold their breath. during this section, you should use longer sentences; breaking up the harshness of the pauses by using variations of punction. read this paragraph out loud from the start and take note of how long you go between pauses and full breaths.Â
and then, comes the biggest trick.
the hard stop.
the paragraph.
because while the periods, commas, and dashes are variations on a short stop, the paragraph is a hard stop. you take a full breath. you pause for a moment, then move to the start of the next paragraph.
which means you can create an entirely new sort of dramatic tension. read the sentences that are in bold. see how you take a naturally longer pause at the end of each paragraph?
see how it makes you feel?Â
how it makes you breath different?Â
how doing it once, twice, or three times creates a different line of tension?Â
this little magic trick can be used to cause a readerâs heartrate to speed up during a fight or chase scene. it can be used to cause their breathing to slow down during moments of dramatic tension, sorrow, or softness. and it can be used to create hard breaks that add a new level of physically felt emphasis to your written work.
i hope these examples make sense! itâs my favorite writing trick!
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