m.fleuré-booknotes

📖 No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai

[ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫 ] ── 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝-𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐆 & 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡. 🖋️

⭐Dehumanized 𝙿𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚘𝚏 “𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚜.” 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊 “𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚝” 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗. No Longer Human, or Disqualified as a Human Being (the direct title translation), is a heavy book to read, especially for people who already have a hard time finding the will to live in their daily lives. This is because many of Yozo's experiences and ideas about life can be very similar to our own. How he was afraid of human connection as his real self, feeling alienated, etc. But despite all that, I can’t deny how he ended up being so unlikable, and I am disgusted with some of his exploits, especially towards young women. You can see in this book how a good-looking person can easily deceive anyone around them and receive such empathy even if they are destructive not only to themselves but to the people around them too with just their looks, and it definitely shows more at the end of the book where they cannot comprehend nor accept how self-centered and abysmal Yozo is. He blames everything and everyone in his life, even the entirety of human beings that caused all of his tragic misery, except himself. He even blames his own wife (that he manipulated and preyed on with his usual antics so she could fall in love with him) for being violated and abused by someone she thought could be trusted. That was the most disgusting part, and it still happens in some countries where women are blamed instead of the men who abused them and SA'ed them. It's just sick to see how he made it seem like he was the one who was abused, blamed her for everything, and further damaged his already “broken” life.

📖 Something, Not Nothing: A Story of Grief and Love by Sarah Leavitt

⭐Teary-eyed This book describes and pictures every bit of episodes that happen during and after stages of grief. I've never seen comic panels so exquisitely created by one person before as Sarah's. It started really heavy and monochromatic, something that encapsulates the feeling of expected, impending doom. And it ends with a bittersweet, colorful finale. I cannot explain how I feel overall, but there are times when colorful abstract panels made me really downhearted despite how vibrant those pages are. Sarah did it wonderfully. Most of the panels deserve to be put in an art exhibit, in my opinion.

📖 The Water Walker by Joanne Robertson

⭐ Amazed This book tells the story of Nokomis (Ojibwe grandmother) Josephine Mandamin and her profound love for nibi (water). It shows the start of the "Water Walk Movement" and the people who were involved in it. I loved how raw & authentic the story was written and drawn, how it heavily lit my awareness of the importance of water in everyday life, and how timely it is nowadays, especially on the over-consumption of water worldwide.

I wouldn’t have known about the aforementioned movement, the reasons behind their environmental concerns in 2003, or how important it is to protect water from pollution and excessive use without this book. Aside from this book, you can read more about the Water Walk Movement here.

✿ personal rating: 5/5

📖 The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer

⭐Alright I am not well-versed in the culture surrounding serviceberries in the West, as an Asian who was born in an Asian country where they are entirely nonexistent (although I am aware that they are present in other Asian countries). However, this book provided me with a few insights into their importance in the gift economy, a subject about which I am not particularly knowledgeable. In our country, the gift economy does exist and is prevalent in a way that was described in certain pages of the book, where it arises in times of disaster or calamity. From the middle of the year until Christmas, our country is hit by thunderstorms every year. Most of these vendors and small businesses are hurt by the floods that destroyed their goods and stocks. Some individuals depend on relief goods and funds that are primarily provided by private sectors and citizens, with only a small amount of assistance from the public government. That being said, I kind of agree that it only exists in the situations I listed. Some health care facilities in other countries offer basic services for free, but that's not the case here. Volunteering is also common (as is a sort of gift economy), but not in the way you might expect. Certain volunteer projects require government funding, particularly in countries like mine that have very expensive goods and utilities in addition to dishonest public servants who use taxes for personal gain rather than the community... 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚎𝚜. 𝙿𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢. 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚛𝚞𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎.

📖 The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

⭐Beautiful There's something about books that are written so vividly that they draw readers of all ages and even make adults think in a profound and reminiscent way. In a world that is slowly losing its colors, The Little Prince is always in our hearts, reminding us of who we once were, or rather, who we really are. Despite being published nearly a century ago, the central plot of The Little Prince is so timeless that it can still be applied to our everyday lives as adults. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚞𝚙𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 (𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗). This book is not only about our young selves that we have sheltered, disregarded, and sometimes forgotten, but also about our wants and dreams that we have abandoned to fit in the adult “world.” Little Prince stands in for the versions of ourselves that we have all been ashamed of due to our ridiculousness, immaturity, naivete, and lack of purpose in life -- even if we actually have. Surprisingly, this book will make you feel much better about life and give you new hope because it will awaken your inner self, which has always been there, guiding you towards a meaningful life based on your own wants and aspirations, which you have kept in your own treasure box inside your heart.

📖 The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

⭐OK I spent some time reading my first physical book of Edgar Allan Poe, “Tell-Tale Heart”, Penguin Classics, which includes 2 other stories, “The Fall of the House of Usher” and “The Cask of Amontillado”. These three short stories all shared the same haunting and bizarre themes that delve into a different range of human nature. I found The Tell-Tale Heart funny in some aspects because of the way the narrator speaks for his own "genius" schemes, as he simultaneously defends his sanity while his actions prove the opposite. It was somewhat absurd for him to even narrate every bit of his actions towards fulfilling his plans, where I feel like watching Tom plotting against Jerry, simply because Jerry bothers him. Eventually, the narrator’s schemes have been successful, only to find himself in a mess when it was time to cover up the (quite morbid) wrongdoings. The guilt consumed him to the point where he imagined his victim's heart still beating, when it was his own all along. Turns out, his plans aren't as brilliant as they seemed. I think this one has delved into all stages of paranoia, tells it in only a few pages.  The second story presents a guttural contrast. The Fall of the House of Usher culminates in tragedy, a sense of hopelessness permeating even the initial pages and foreshadowing the ending. Both the surrounding environment and the people shared the same fate; it resembles a curse upon both the lineage and the ancestral home. This was more about fear of going astray, a fate from which there seems to be no escape for them. The Cask of Amontillado reads like a semi-dramatic play centered on revenge. Although it’s mostly about revenge, it has a similar concept to Tell-Tale Heart where the story explores the plotting of a scheme against another person. It unsettles me to think that some individuals will do everything, even in the most heinous way, to get revenge in such a composed demeanor, often without the intended victim's knowledge. But we know how frequently these cases have already occurred in real life. The third story's pacing was my least favorite part. Poe likely intended to illustrate how madness, guilt, and decline, even leading to retaliation, can consume the human mind in a terrifying and appalling manner. Where horror isn't merely external, but resides within the mind itself. Such exploratory tales were written in a time when the terror in the human mind had not yet been significantly expounded.

✿ personal rating: 4.1/5

📖 Coraline by Neil Gaiman

⭐ Great || Author BAD The book was so well written that it hooked me right away. The opening atmosphere reminded me of the foggy world of the original Silent Hill, with its thick, pervasive mist and sense of surrounding darkness. It felt both mysterious and eerie. I could also perfectly picture all of Coraline's emotions in every scene. From watching her talk to Miss Spink and Miss Forcible to seeing the Old Man (Mr. Bobo) act peculiar while they conversed, I felt a firm sense of discomfort. On top of that, her parents were so uptight with her. Their negligence and indifference in the first few parts were tormenting to read about because I grew up in a similar family. That feeling weighed me down, almost like a mirror of my own childhood. But eventually, I was happy to see how it ended for her, since it turned out they were just getting used to their new home after all. The Other Mother was the creepiest of all. Turning buttons into something horrifying was such a unique idea.

📖 Ferris by Kate DiCamillo

⭐Gracious This book wrapped around me like the embrace of a big, healthy extended family. It made me feel like I truly belonged somewhere safe and surrounded by people who love unconditionally, showing care in both gentle and unexpected ways. It didn’t really hit me with that kind of punch until I got to the last chapters. Some of the scenes and the moods reminded me of a Korean drama that I watched earlier this year called "Heavenly Ever After". Even though their diegeses are totally different, both have an approach of guiding you through each character's unique lives and demonstrating how and why those lives shape who they are. It was definitely an easy read, and I could really visualize every scene that was written in this book. Many of my favorite moments were the ones where Pinky is involved, and I could almost feel how fluffy Boomer is! It kind of makes me miss my childhood days too, back when I was still living with my grandma. It’s those simple little things that really tug at you and make you want to keep reading.

✿ personal rating: 4/5

🍿 The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

⭐Pleasant [Film] the film had a few simple monologues that might not seem like much, but some of them actually carry good advice. overall, it felt really soft and comforting, and i enjoyed every bit of it. it’s short, under an hour, but you can see the care in the dialogue, the music, and the animation based on charlie mackesy’s artworks. whether the lines stick with you or not is up to you, but for me, the whole thing felt like being hugged by a friend who accepts all of my vulnerabilities & flaws. and that was something i really needed the most at the moment.

📖 Animal Farm by George Orwell

⭐Good Whoever fights to topple a system often becomes the system once they take control. I finally finished a book again after months of being in a slump. This one had been sitting on my backlog for two years, and since I set my reading goal this year to focus on short but meaningful books, I decided to start with it. It was surprisingly easy to get through even with the heavier theme running through the whole story. It has already been reviewed countless times, and I ended up feeling pretty much the same way as many of those readers. I think this is the kind of book you can come back to more than once, and it will still give you the same effect each time.

✿ personal rating: 4.75/5

📖 Moju: The Blind Beast by Edogawa Rampo

[DNF] I wanted to start reading again, so I picked up this book knowing nothing about it, only the author. I understand that this is the point of the story, but I found myself deeply disturbed by the surface-level content after reaching just 15% of the book. Maybe the genre overall isn’t for me. Narratives centered around such "themes" make me feel quite uneasy. I don’t feel like continuing it anymore, so I’ll drop it for the time being.

📖 The Librarian of Auschwitz [Graphic Novel Version]

⭐Honorable Beautiful graphic novel adaptation with good storytelling, though it could have been better at conveying people’s emotions in certain scenarios. I felt the sentiment towards Dita, who always loved books and reading. One quote that will always stay with me is: “The only way to escape was to use your imagination and resist to the bitter end.” I've seen a few Holocaust films and animations with different takes and perspectives, but this might be the first time I’ve read one as a graphic novel. The true horrors were captured so vividly that even I couldn’t look at them for too long. It felt very different seeing them visually rather than imagining them in my mind. It is a bit condensed or short, but overall, it’s a good book that I came across while browsing Libby. I would love to educate myself more about its history, and I plan to read more books on the subject.