Serving Tumblr Since 2011

*walks into my apartment to find hundreds of sock puppets sobbing their eyes out at a funeral they apparently decided to hold in my living room*

interlopester

what 5 years later its good enough for a comment? fuck you

come to my gut animals like you

I don't wanna sound like mean or nuthin but a lot of y'all have been trapped in a vortex of suffering for so long that you've come to identify with the suffering as an aspect of your personality and ideology and thereby to covet suffering and to mistake debasement for enoblement and humiliation for virtue

The brief rush of moral superiority might be enough to sustain you for an hour or a day but in the long term it's a very very unhealthy coping mechanism and in the very long term it's where stuff like Christianity comes from

anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

(looking at someone mildly enjoying their day) ohhh well lucky you la dee da someone’s just a beaming ray of sunshine today. Go on and rub it in my face harder. We cant all be so lucky (tries to light a cigarette but forgot i had modified my lighter into a flamethrower with a youtube lifehack and burns my bangs off) MY BANGS!!! MY EGG IRL BANGS HAVE TURNED INTO TERF BANGS!!! YOU!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! (grabs you by your shirt collar but accidentally rips off your shirt entirely) —Woah mama!! Gguulp… Heh, maybe this IS my lucky day after all…! (CAMERA ZOOMS OUT, REVEALING WE ARE IN THE TWIN TOWERS) (CAPTION FADES IN: SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001)

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

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