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I shouldnt have come here. I shoulve run. Shouldve run. There was no need to be this strong.

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Time passes and i seem to forget about it, but when i come face to face with it, i drown again. And i drown bad. Not even fighting to stay afloat level drown, because i have drowned before. Been under the water. Been under the water too long and still continue to be, because my past wont leave me the hell alone.
No he didn’t suddenly start hating you now, he has always hated you.
I am tired. Of all the walking. Too tired to focus on the medicine. Too tired to keep up the social life.
But it wont work like this.
Do we never change? Do we ever change? I think i just keep staying the same.

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Its not a matter of survival, you will survive. Someone else’s happiness is not a war against your own, and if you feel that way, fix it. Thank god that the world is happy. Thank god for happiness exists. Be happy for others happiness. And let it light you up a little.
Its not a matter of survival, you will survive.
Let go of the idea that happiness is something you have to own. You don’t own anything. You only own your karma. Do good karma. And do right by yourself.
You did nothing wrong by choosing yourself. Choose yourself. Choose yourself. Grow in life. Choose yourself. Love yourself.
Let your sadness turn into prayers before it turns into anger. Because angst and hatred come naturally but they’re the enemies. Dont give way to them.
Don’t romantisize love. Don’t romanticize friendships that don’t give you back. Romanticize life. Romanticize science.
In five years, it might matter, but it won’t matter a ton. People who cab easily forget you- should. And people who remember you and yet choose to hurt you, do not befriend them merely because they remember you. Raise your standards- dare to be forgotten. Dare to be unfriended. Its alright. Choose yourself. Pray to god. Be kind. Don’t give space in your heart to hatred. Stay pure. Keep working on yourself. Be true to yourself. Don’t stop working on yourself.

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Just keep working on yourself and keep praying to god. You cannot loose what you never had, let go of the illusions. See whats there. Look at what you have. Have the courage to see- that what is real. Healing is by choice, love.
Don’t fear oblivion. Don’t fear pain. Don’t fear loss. Have no fear. Just make sure when nobody got your back, you keep choosing yourself. Choose yourself, build on yourself, every-single - day. Choose growth. Choose life. Choose your own path. And choose to live this life in your best interest, keep working on yourself.
Don’t give into the idea that you need to be chosen. You are already chosen. Trust god. Trust the people he sends for you. People who do not pick you weren’t yours anyway. Trust your friendships, trust that god will give people the courage to choose you Take care of yourself first, make friends later.
Don’t be afraid that you will be forgotten, everyone is one day forgotten anyway. Don’t give into the idea that if didn’t make friends you didn’t do anything worthy. Some friendships you can keep and some you have to let go of. Do what you have to do to keep peace, to protect yourself, to choose yourself. And if life didn’t choose you the day before yesterday or yesterday or today doesnt mean it will never choose you. Trust god.
A friendship you’re scared of loosing isn’t a friendship. So theres no loss in it that way.
Live a simple life. Choose a harder now if its the right thing to do. Don’t second guess yourself. Have faith. Keep trust. Whats yours will come to you, let everything else go.
Bloom through adversity, bloom alone. You are here to do your karma. Do your karma. Be kind, make someone’s day easier. Pray to god. Don’t keep hatred. Don’t keep angst. Just keep doing what you need to do in order to protect yourself. Keep choosing yourself. You cant pour from an empty cup, so just keep trying to take care of yourself, and then whats yours will come and will stay.
As much as i hate it, this is how it goes, this is what it is. It doesn’t become easier with time, you just have to grow thick skin. Because people only care upto a certain point and after that, they won’t even listen.
My deepest, sincerest, greatest apologies, oh dear god, that I am an accessory to crime.

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Who we are isnt determined by what we inherit but what we choose to do with it
There’s something about the ship you love and is sinking, and you can do nothing to protect it.