Omfg this is of that kid he looks exactly the same

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

#TeamEster #BananaSplits

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamEster #TeamKink

This is spectacular.

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

My eyes….

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

STOP

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

i actually… love people who double or triple or infinity text … what are you excited about because i’m excited too! message me seven times please i’m glad you have a lot to say and i am willing to listen!!

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

Read the whole thing.

I hate her, as I seethe with jealousy

im dead

IM LAUGHING SO HARD IM WATCHING THE SHOW MALL COPS AND IT REALLY DRAMATICALLY GOES “BUT NOT EVERYONE IS HERE TO SHOP” AND ZOOMS IN TO AKATSUKI COSPLAYERS IM PEEING

i want to cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle and cuddle

Me talking to my dog every night

spell icup

Martha cancel my appointments. i’ve been had

I want this on a shirt

i want to get this on a shirt then wear it to school