Part-time Unicorn | any pronouns | 23 | fandom hoarder | ADHD babey!! | Sesame Street Stan | follow my art blog! @art-from-another-world | grunkle stunkle wins the funkle bunkle
I think a really underrated part of the TF2 comics is the way the relationship between Spy and Miss Pauling develops and falls apart. It's this rich little microcosm of Spy's heavily masked (ha) personality and Pauling's desperation for approval.
During their few interactions in the first three comics, they act accordingly to their given roles- they're coworkers, that's all. Miss Pauling has seven other mercs to locate and manage and Spy is busy wrangling Soldier and Zhanna.
That really changes in the latter half of #4- that's when things start falling apart for both of them. Miss Pauling, of course, is caught up in her hunt for more Australium- unlike Spy, this isn't just a job for her. She wants to impress the Administrator, to get her attention and praise. Both of their motivations shift completely because of their visit to New Zealand.
What I think most gets to Spy here is meeting Sniper's bio parents. One thing we can glean from subtext is that under the surface, Spy is a deeply caring person who's driven by love far more often than he'd like to admit. But he's also a coward, and doesn't see much of himself beyond being a spy. He defines himself by the harm he caused and the lives he's taken. I think what breaks him is witnessing how shitty Sniper's gene donors are- and he sees himself in them.
(One thing I've noticed- Spy smokes a lot, but when he's specifically shown lighting or touching a cigarette in the comics and animations, he's stressed, and when he rolls his eyes, he's hiding something.)
And I think this is the case because...
...he immediately chases after Miss Pauling when she puts herself in danger. And this is, typically, extremely out of character for him! In both Expiration Date and the Jungle Inferno trailer, when he feels he's in danger, he follows a specific pattern- he cloaks, and puts some distance between himself and the problem. (Hell, if you've played Spy in TF2, that's a tactic you'll fall back on all the time.) But, instead of securing the sub, he chooses to run headfirst further into a flooding/collapsing room to make sure Miss Pauling gets out of there.
We don't often see Spy touching anyone else, let alone so gently. He could have grabbed her wrist or her arm, but he's specifically drawn holding her hand. The only other instance that comes to mind is the way he holds Scout as he dies in #6.
This is really interesting to me, because his relationships are usually contextualized through violence. Yelling at or hitting his teammates, murdering to protect the people he cares about- even when giving his mask to Tanya in #7, at the most gentle he's ever been, he encourages her to play "princess assassin". (Worth noting that this is more indicative of his relationship with violence than anything about Tanya- any former little girl will understand the urge to play murder and violence with her dolls.)
Things also change drastically for Miss Pauling here. Her previous relationship with the mercs wasn't really explored, but it's hard to imagine she considered them as friends. She's consumed by her job, and while she recognizes them as people (as shown by the contract lines), it's worth entertaining the idea that she has a bizarre perspective on what a "person" is.
This is a woman who murders witnesses and buries bodies for a living. Everyone besides the Administrator is disposable- and that includes her. And the Administrator is like a goddess to her. Every ounce of her life is devoted to her. At the end of Expiration Date, she shows interest in spending time with Scout- she might've even been romantically interested in him- but that connection is strained and ultimately broken by her obsession. Whether they would've been anything more becomes a moot point. She grows to resent him because she has to be professional with him, and he can't handle that.
Another thing that could explain her perspective in this situation: she's a young, unmarried woman in the late 60s and early 70s. She is almost completely stripped of independence just because of how she was born. She can't even apply for a credit card. Obviously, she wasn't about to marry a man just to be recognized as a human being. But the situation she went into instead isn't much better. She's taken advantage of, made to work impossibly hard 364 days out of the year, for essentially no reason at all. She's not "just someone's wife", but she's "just the Administrator's assistant".
And I think this one act of kindness from the person she least expects opens up a world of possibilities for her. She's an equal to Spy. She's always been an equal to him, even when they were working together. He may complain and make sarcastic remarks, but he listens to her.
I think this is when it hits her all at once. Sniper is dead. He took her seriously, hell, he recognized her as a threat. She can't handle the idea that she's important, that she's worth something, and she threw away someone else who was worth something, too.
(And it seriously doesn't help that Spy has no clue how to speak earnestly to people. I like to think his frustrated expression in the bottom second panel there is him trying desperately not to let his expression slip into "ohhhh i fucked up again".)
Then, Spy doesn't make fun of her, and instead extends an olive branch again- drastic as this one may be. And I think, unfortunately, this causes Miss Pauling to latch onto Spy like she does with the Administrator. Not nearly as badly, but it causes a lot more damage as things go further. Because, after this, she starts looking to Spy for approval and attention.
This might be a reach, but that sort of sheepish, stumbling response feels a bit unlike her. Her speech is usually very quick and sharp, even when she's nervous. (Or dying in a hot dog eating contest.) This relationship has been established maybe a few hours before, and she already thinks she's messed up.
This one's also interesting. Pyro, Heavy, Soldier, Zhanna, Demo, and Spy all came with them, and Miss Pauling is most focused on Spy in particular. The way she says it makes me think she feels hurt. That also looks to be Spy's revolver she's using- take that as you will.
And after everything, she turns to Spy again. Look how happy she is at hearing his approval for the first time! This is probably the first compliment she's gotten that's not from Scout or about her appearance in a long time.
And don't let Spy's neutral expression fool you.
Once again, this is unusual for him. For the entire preceding battle, he was hiding, disguising, trying to avoid getting hurt as much as he could, up until he got shot. But the minute Miss Pauling is on her own and about to get hurt, he does something downright reckless to save her.
But the very nature of this relationship is fragile- once again, Miss Pauling defines herself as a tool for anyone she looks up to, and Spy defines himself as a weapon, something violent and unforgivable. It was always going to be self-destructive. And I think the moment it breaks is when the Administrator dies.
(I'm out of photos BUT I'll reblog with the rest.)
oh yeah also @tf2heritageposts i think you'd find this interesting. anyway
So- when Miss Pauling goes with the mercs to confront the Administrator, she makes a choice that she probably wouldn't have the strength to before all of this.
This choice is a combination of many, many things that have led up to now, but part of it is the three things I talked about- Miss Pauling has realized what it means to be a person, she's been recognized as one, and she's made a connection with someone else. Through this whole horror show, the Administrator has been her one light at the end of the tunnel- and even though it would be easy to fall back on her, Miss Pauling chooses to look forward to something else.
But, when all is said and done- even though Spy is the last to leave her side...
...he says nothing.
In the end, Spy's the coward he's always been. He doesn't tell Miss Pauling he cares about her. He doesn't tell Scout that he's his father. Despite everything, he's not going to forge a connection. As far as we know, he doesn't visit her or any of the others for seven years. We don't know if anyone even heard from him in that time.
And this is the final nail in the coffin for Miss Pauling. Even with all the Australium in the world- with that string broken, she feels she has nothing left.
That listless look in her eyes says everything.
But. Even after all that- or maybe because of it-
She chooses to build something new. To define herself by her own metrics, to take the worth she's found in herself and make something of it.
We don't see Miss Pauling after this, but she's able to send Scout a turkey for his Smissmass party, her name on it and all. Wherever she is- I like to think she's in charge of her own destiny now.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
it shimmers like no gemstones i've ever seen: green as malachite and emerald but shot through with opal, gold, copper. photographs can't do it justice because of how it shines, as well as the way the actual material elements have their own dimensions. you can lean in and study all the fine lines of the circuits or step back and admire how the rearranged whole forms new patterns. it's one of the most beautiful creations i've ever seen.
I think thereβs a conversation to be had about how βanimal rights activismβ is generally considered the easiest form of activism because it allows one to disconnect themselves from overall societal issues, and itβs why many celebrities consider themselves to be animal rights activists, but due to a complete lack of research and complacency on what animal rights activism actually entails, most of these activists end up doing a lot more harm than good. Theyβre the people who will only focus on stray dogs and cats during natural disasters or genocides that kill thousands of human beings; or the people who boycott βkill sheltersβ and replace them with βno-kill sheltersβ despite the fact that this lack of understanding on how these shelters work directly leads to the deaths of more animals; or the people who replace animal products with βvegan alternativesβ that have more impact on the environment than the original products; or the people who donβt understand why the natural next step in Greta Thunbergβs environmental activism was to advocate for Palestine.
Like, animal and environmental rights activism is so misunderstood by the people within the movement who are doing it for all the wrong reasons, and itβs mostly because they do not understand that animal rights and human rights are so intrinsically connected that you cannot seperate the two at all without watering down your activism into a complete nothingburger.
Itβs also because they donβt do basic Google searches on how things work either, but thatβs neither here nor there.
So I saw some people remarking that they didn't understand why "liberals" are focusing on the disaster of the Reflecting Pool paint job, and ok so when you see stuff like that, I need you to remember we are dealing with a wannabe strongman. Anything that makes him look ineffectual, wasteful, and incredibly stupid-- you get that between your teeth and you don't let go. Especially *especially* when it involves laughing at him.
Also... it is funny. Except for the poor ducks, it's funny. Man lost a war to algae. His "American Flag Blue" is green and slimy and the paint is peeling off, and all before his big 4th of July show that no musicians want to play. It's funny. Point and laugh. That is fighting fascism, actually.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product
the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac
tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size.
Yes, he is five times her age.
Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.
One of the things that bears repeating before the hot weather takes over is that once your body reaches a certain temperature you can no longer count on making good decisions that you would normally make and you can no longer count on your physical coordination.
Keeping yourself as cool as possible isn't being weak or wimpy. It's protecting your capacity to think and move well if you need to.
In France and other countries last week it was clear that some people died from doing things they never would have done had they been thinking clearly. That confusion can happen to anyone and it comes sooner than people expect. Please, my Tumblr friends in places that will be getting very hot this week, be safe! Don't tough it out and don't take chances. Go somewhere cool if you can and of course, hydrate!
Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.
I've said this exact sentiment before as well, both informally and in corporate meetings.
"People would rather see a hastily scribbled stick figure with a pen that's running out of ink on a crumpled post-it that went through the wash, than anything made with AI."
I got laughed at, until absolutely no one showed interest in multiple events... and their employee surveys all said they lost interest immediately because the invites were all AI.
βWe didnβt pay as much attention as we should have to the experience of our most knowledgeable engineers,β says automaker
Some amazing quotes in this article about how Ford replaced hundreds of engineers with AI, which broke a bunch of shit causing billions in damage and forcing them to rehire those people.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
So unfortunately Ganstagrass is the one rap/bluegrass/countey fusion band I've found, but they fuck so hard but I haven't looked super hard yet, meant to take some time to do that today actually so I'll update the post when I do.
But since you asked for recs I have to get my usual recs out since I want everyone to listen to this stuff, so BRELAND, Tanner Adell, Blanco Brown, Reyna Roberts, and Willie Jones are all black country artists that blend a lot of rap and hiphop influence into their music which creates a really great vibe(especially since the white country artists doing this are just not anywhere near as good at it someone please stop Morgan Wallen every single one of his songs sounds exactly the same ahhhhh).
I also reccomend the Pony Up remix of Texas Hold 'Em but I hit the link limit.
As always, if anyone else has any recs, feel free to drop 'em here, I am ALWAYS looking for more country to listen to and I would love to have some more country/rap stuff like genuinely so bad pls.
Oh she knows how to sing a fucking ballad <3 I'm just keeping this post going forever. If you find new cool country artists you're legally obligated to tell me because despite my best efforts I live under a rock.
It's probably bcs my grandpa just died but this song just hit me like a truck and I can't stop crying
Also this is the closest to a nationalistic song by a modern country artist I like bcs it references 9/11 but only in regards to the firefighters who deserve acclaim for what they did that day. Nothing but respect for firefighters.