okβ¦ fineβ¦ Β last year, like in the fall/winter. i was driving around to every thrift store in my city, like, probably 30 thrift stores, and i would buy every VHS copy of Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, Sister Act, Men In Black, Star Wars Episode 1, The Matrix, Space Jam, Speed, and Twister i could findβ¦ i have like 100 copies of each at least, 200 of someβ¦whatevsβ¦
like i was going through a lot of heartbreak, this girl totally broke my heart, and it was so comforting, driving around the entire city, listening to Apples In Stereo and Guided By Voices, and chillin, buying VHS tapes. It gave me something meaningless and ridiculous to occupy my time with opposed to just being in my room depressed.Β
But Iβm over the girl that broke my heart, its been awhile, and I do have a new girlfriend, and shes amazing and I was likeΒ
βSo I own over 200 copies of Forrest Gump on VHS, I mean I really like you and I can see us going somewhere, and I think its important to be honest, I have an absurd amount of VHS, and thats not going to change. I mean ever. Like Iβm going to own these VHS tapes until Iβm dead. Ok, fine, if the tapes do bother you, like Iβll get rid of themβ¦ but like youβll have to explain to my followers whyβ¦ im doing it for you. I know we donβt know each other that well, this is crazy, but like youβre so cool and youβre so great, that i would give up my VHS tapes for you.β
and she was likeΒ β90s, relax, having that many VHS tapes is kind of sketch but Iβd never tell you to get rid of them.β.. then one night we were in my room watching Game of Thrones on HBOGo, and we start making out until shes likeΒ β90s I canβt do anything in here, the VHS tapes sketch me out.β and I was likeΒ βAre u serious?β and she was allΒ βDead serious.β and I was likeΒ βLike 2 girls on tumblr have said theyβd want me to fuck them on top of a pile of Forrest Gump VHS tapes, like you should be so turned on.β and she was allΒ β90s this is real life not your tumblr ask box, literally no one in the world would want to be fucked on top of a pile of Forrest Gump VHS tapes.β and I was likeΒ βI donβt want to fuck on top of Forrest Gump tapes anyway, like do you feel this mattress right now, its like a Serta, its so comfortable. This is a premium deluxe mattress.βΒ
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