Instead of moving through the pain we run from it.

ig: klassicstudent

Abbaye de Beauport, Paimpol France.

I operated on a freaking legend’s spine today. And it was terrifying. And exhilarating. And imperfect. Mostly terrifying. Because she’s not just a legend. She matters so much to so many people that I love…

— we cannot lose another shepherd :(

That tumor’s inoperable.

I would say God has a sense of humour. But there is no God. No God would do this.

CONCLUSION: EVERYBODY WATCY GREYS ANATOMY IT IS SO GOOD AND DEALS WITH SO MANY IMPORTANT ISSUES AND HAS SUCH GREAT REPRESENTATION

The car pulled over into Meredith’s driveway. The darkness had already settled like a blanket on downtown Seattle by now. “We’re here! Now who’s ready for some candy?!” asked Owen in his more high-pitched ‘dad voice’ “Meeeee!” yelped Ethan, fidgeting in his booster-seat frantically. “Look’s like someone really doesn’t need any more sugar!” laughed Owen. “Eliana, you excited to see Zola?!” Complete silence. Amelia unbuckled her seatbelt turned her body round to face her daughter, whose face was squished against the side of her seat, amber tresses falling messily onto her cheeks, her thumb imprisoned in her rosy lips. “Owen, look”, she laugh-whispered. He turned to face his sleeping daughter,“I guess you were right!” Owen got out of the car and lifted a squirming Ethan onto the pavement, making fake groaning noises as if to pretend he was heavy, which made Ethan giggle. Meanwhile, Amelia unbuckled Eliana’s seatbelt, pressed tightly against the fabric of her pumpkin costume, and delicately slid her arm behind her back. Her daughter woke just enough to wrap her arms around Amelia’s neck. “Daddy, I want picky-up!” Ethan yelped “I thought you were a big boy, Ethan?!” laughed Owen, hoisting his toddler onto his shoulders. “Can you ring the bell, Owen?” asked Amelia They walked up the stone steps and just as Owen’s fingers had barely grazed the doorbell, the front door opened to a small figure, dressed in a white astronaut suit, a dark visor obscuring their face. “Hello!!!” chimed Owen and Amelia “Auntie Amy!” cried an excited voice which was unmistakably Zola’s. She took off her helmet and ran to Amelia, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. “Hey little astronaut! How’s my lovely princess Zozo?” Meredith emerged from the hallway, dressed as Princess Ana, carrying a bottle of mulled wine. “Hey! Come, in come in” she said with a wide ‘Cheshire Cat’ grin, beckoning them into the house. “Zozo, let aunty Amy go, honey! Yeah, Zola didn’t really go for the whole Disney theme the others had planned! Awwww, is it past Eli’s bedtime perhaps?! She’s completely out for the count, bless her. I’m so glad you guys could make it though, we should probably get going before all the teenagers go out…and who’s this little wizard?” She bends down to Ethan, now hiding shyly behind his father’s legs. She pretends to ‘zap’ him with spells which makes him giggle uncontrollably. “Bailey, come down and get your shoes on, we’re going trick-or-treating now!” Bailey jumps down the stairs, one stair at a time, in a mint green Tinkerbell costume, his bobby hair cut and wings bouncing with each thud. “And Bailey fancied being a fairy this year!” She laughed with a sort of ‘why the hell not?’ expression. Bailey marched over to the hallway and sat down to put on his light-up ‘teenage mutant ninja turtles’ trainers on. “Mummy, what’s Uncle Owen and Auntie Amelia dressed as?” “Why don’t you ask them, honey?” He turned his head shyly around to them but didn’t say a word. Owen kneeled down to Bailey “Well, you know that film Monsters Inc? I am Sully and Auntie Amy is Boo.” “I don’t think I’ve watched that film” he said quietly with an adorable smile Owen laughed, “Oh wow, what the kids of today are missing out on! We’ll have to watch it next time Amelia and I are babysitting, deal?” He holds out his hand awkwardly for a hi-five Bailey smiles and slaps it with all his might “My gosh Bailey, you nearly broke my hand!” Owen cries in his ‘dad-tone’ again, and makes his whole arm go loose and crooked  as if it were broken, “That’s my surgical hand as well!” Bailey is overcome with fits of giggles and starts initiating multiple hi-fives with all of them, beaming with pride and enjoying the rarely accessible adult attention. Meredith chimed in “Bailey, why don’t you show Ethan where the candy buckets are?” He stood up and confidently took the hand of little Ethan, proud to be the responsible one in this situation. “Owen, can I get you some warm mulled wine? It’s freezing out there and my kids seem to take an hour just to get round the block, so I find it makes it slightly less unbearable.” She rolls her eyes as if to say ‘kill me now!’ “Sure, yes please.” There is a sudden sound of keys at the door. Maggie rushes in, wearing a tight-fitting black  jumpsuit, furry cat ears and minimalistic ‘cat’ face-paint. “Hey, so so sorry, I was held up with a mitral valve replacement and thought I was gonna have to cancel but I’m so happy I made it because I got to see you guys, and hey, Eli! Aww she’s so adorable in that lil pumpkin costume I just want to eat her up aaaah!!” Amelia checks Maggie out up and down. “You know this is just kids Halloween right? There’s no need to look, you know…” “Oh, me no, this was totally a last minute costume, I’m just, no I’m not trying to-” “Maggie, it’s fine. If I had an ass like that, I’d want to flaunt it too, I mean, wow.” “For once, I actually agree with Amelia.” exclaimed Meredith “You know Riggs isn’t here, right?” Amelia mumbled to Maggie out of the corner of her mouth Owen attempts to break the tension but instead crumbles under the acute awkwardness of the situation “Well, I’m sure you all have lovely butts….not that I’ve been like looking at them or anything, so I guess I can’t judge but…well I have seen Amelia’s, obviously so I can confirm…um…maybe we should…um…” “Leave the house! Amelia says brightly, finding her husband’s attempt at diffusing the tension incredibly endearing. “Great idea yes, yay!” Maggie yelled, accompanied by forced, high-pitched laughter “Kids, we’re going trick-or-treating now!, yelled Meredith into the living room. She eyes Maggie with another eye-roll, “finally!” Bailey skips into the hall first, holding Ethan’s hand, who is now beaming in the anticipation of candy and being allowed to play with the big boys. Ellis, dressed like Cinderella, runs over and tugs on Meredith’s shirt impatiently. Zola strolls over with the attitude of a sixteen-year-old and refuses to hold hands with anybody except Amelia, who is according to her at least, the ‘cool aunt’. Eliana, beginning to stir, is then scooped up by her father’s arms, as if a golden Olympic torch being passed between two bearers. Amelia then takes Ethan’s free hand and Meredith, holding five orange buckets in one hand and Ellis in the other, leads the eclectic entourage into the indigo night.  

— we cannot lose another shepherd :(

“You’re here right now,that’s good enough”

- Grey’s Anatomy 13x05 and 14x05

Amelia, you’re doing great sweetie