Veronica

Is it weird that everytime I get really hurt emotionally I feel it in my heart? Like I feel it actually breaking and hurting, not a little pinch but a real pain. Or maybe I'm just too dramatic.

Its truth that Im doing it to myself. I pet myself get into others personal space too much by being too clingy to them, which I cant really control. I wish I could change but there's only two sides I have and both of them are just making me loose people. I'm either too clingy and craving attention and affection all the time or I'm cold and dry bitch that won't give a shit about you. I hate both of them so much. But after all I guess the second one gives me and others so much more peace.

I really hate how it's breaking my heart. At one side Im so in love that I could never end this but at the other side I know how much it breaks my heart and how foolish I look keeping it up when I feel that Im not even wanted there at all but Im being said that Im not wanted to be gone. Its confusing and eating my heart alive like flies eating rotting meat. That's the feeling that sits in my heart. Both tickling and making me smile but at the same time eating me alive.

I hate to have sexuality and feelings. Why can't I just not give a fuck? But instead Im falling in love.

Summertime sadness hits much harder this year.