I'm a disappointment.

You thought I stopped talking to you because I got bored. However, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m in love with you so much. I love you and it’s killing me because you won’t ever feel the same way. You look at me but you do not see me. Not with stars in your eyes or with a sense of awe. Not with love. So I’m sorry it seemed like I disappeared. For a while I was selfish and wanted to still keep you in my life. It didn’t work out like that. I realized that it didn’t matter if I left or if I stayed because it would all hurt the same.

I’m sorry I know that you don’t want to talk to me because you said that you have your own problems to fix at the moment and yet here I am trying so hard to be your cure I’m sorry I’m so sorry I know I am only adding up to the pain you are feeling right now every time I try to come to your rescue and I know you’re confused and you don’t know what to do but I am having such a hard time trying to understand why you are always pushing me away and maybe it is because my grip is a little too tight on your wrist maybe my words are a bit too heavy for you to take it all in maybe I’m suffocating your lungs and you just need to breathe and be alone but all I feel is that I am useless I feel so useless to you I feel so worthless it’s like I can’t do anything right and it sucks because I am trying but my efforts will never be enough I’m just I’m so sorry for being part of your pain instead

She loved sunsets and the moonlight, and all the different shades of purple when she got a bruise. She loved animals and most music genres, and don’t get me started on how much she loved the cold. She liked how stars shined and how the night sky was so unique. She loved mysteries and she loved him, mostly because he was a mystery, but the one thing she didn’t love…was herself.

May 16, 2016

And in the end, we were all just humans drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness

You will love somebody else, and maybe I will as well, and this world we are living in will be laughing at us because two destined souls already stumbled upon each other and yet they chose to let go, turn their backs on each other. To walk away like nothing matters. And I still can’t answer myself, how did we do it? I know that you know it, too. I know it has an effect on you. And after all these steps I’ve taken, even if I am the only one who keeps on looking back, I know you are still thinking of me, because you just couldn’t forget a love like that.