nice

stand at the train platform every day and wonder what it would be like to jump

I just want to die

what do you do when you don't want to be anywhere

I love my boyfriend more than anything but I feel disgusting around him I just want to be skinny and tiny I want to lose so much weight people worry about me

hope I get hit by a bus walking into town tomorrow

now I have a boyfriend I can't make myself throw up anymore and I've put on so much weight and I just want to die lol

why am I so inadequate

My boyfriend is leaving today I’ve spent the last two weeks solid with him and 99% of the past six weeks I don’t want him to leave I don’t cope very well without him

I slept at my boyfriends for three nights in a row Nothing is nicer than sleeping and waking up next to him I literally love him so much But yet again I ended up sad I’m so insecure that I can’t reassure myself that he doesn’t think about/talk to other girls Like all I do is worry I asked him a question about someone he’d slept with I don’t know why I asked when I don’t want to know the answer Just constantly worry that she was better than me in some way??? Or that he compares me to her and I’m not as good or whatever I still don’t know what he did during freshers and it worries the fuck out of me, like what if something happened with someone and they come back into the scene He might be getting two new house mates and all I can think it’s that they’ll be two girls prettier than me My insecurities are basically destroying me mentally and I can barely cope I can’t begin to think about what id do without him I don’t want to ruin everything because I can’t stop worrying I don’t like knowing he’s had sex with someone else in the bed I fall asleep in, cuddle him in, have sex with him in etc All I worry about is things going bad between us and i have an anxiety attack every time I think about it I just can’t breath and can’t stop crying and I feel sick I don’t know I feel like I shouldn’t love someone this much because it physically hurts to think about anything bad happening

I physically can't stop myself from worrying about everything My boyfriend is going back to uni at the start of February and all I can think is that he will get bored of me because we won't be seeing each other as often When he first went to uni when we weren't really together but he claimed to 'really like me' he didn't talk to me at all during freshers he made me feel so shit it was unreal. I still don't know what he did or if he had sex with anyone else. All I can think is that when he goes back and has 'refreshers is that he will do the same thing again