"Abomination" "Affront to God" "Deep Dish Pizza"

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

When I say "godspeed" (I say it a lot) I like to imagine I'm a member of a futurism religion that worships velocity above all else. Like its the standard well-wishing in my culture. Speedliness is next to godliness. Someday we'll catch him! And the closer we get the more he loves us

Someone will shoot off a quick post while making dinner and then log back on a few hours later or the next day and see that there are dozens of strangers suicide baiting them or saying that they should be killed for being the literal devil because their post was worded like a human wrote it instead of a team of 10 trained and well-paid PR employees.

#i was once at the bar and a buddy of mine and i were talking about birds and he mentioned blue-footed boobies #which another person thought we were making up #and let me tell you i was so caught up in the euphoria of showing this man a picture of birds with blue feet #that i briefly lived in a world where the slang term for female breasts didn't exist #so i just typed boobies into search and the results were about what you'd expect

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

Also sometimes you and your friend are both in Torment Mazes, different ones, and while yours is way hotter, you know that your friend's has just so many more rusty nails than yours does, and so you and your friend vent to one another about your respective Torment Mazes and sympathize in a way that makes very clear that it's not a Torment Maze Olympics, there is no competitive element about whose Torment Maze is worse, and you both just genuinely wish the other to be freed from their Torment Maze as soon as humanly possible

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

thank you for putting a random white boy on my post i guess

OP NO. ADDING A WHITE BOY TO A VAT OF ACID CREATES A "THE JOKER.:

fuck.