ain’t that just the way

jackbox should have an abstain with contempt button

blaseball is a story about grief and how it reshapes worlds and people and what they'd do to get the dead back and community and how you can do anything with people behind you and to have love where love is needed most and holding onto each other at the end of the world and unity and hope above all else. its also a story about people with names like kelvin drumsolo doing things like simultaneously occupying multiple bases. and scoring negative runs. hope this helps!

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i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"