✧･ﾟLay All Your Love On Me✧!･ﾟ

oh noooooo wydm you're turning me into your human cow? that's awfullllllll. I mean who would want thattttttt. Ahaha. like noooooo don't milk meee or make me wear skimpy outfits or call me a good girl or pet my head or breed me or - Hey get back here! ( •̀⤙•́ )

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

i know in my heart of hearts that within the pokémon universe it’s all the really cute popular marketable pokémon that have the most irresponsible trainers. small dog syndrome ramped up to a whole new level. that is not a toy that is a lifelong commitment. ma’am please keep your untrained sylveon in its pokéball inside the store. no that is not a service pokémon it wouldn’t be using moonblast on everything if it was

sir! sir!!! your pikachu is decimating the ducklett population at the pond and you aren’t even looking! you are NOT ash ketchum you are NOT gonna catch ‘em all because that involves trade evolutions and you have NO friends!!!

if one more middle aged mom tells me that i should’ve kept my raichu a pikachu because ‘she’s much cuter that way’ i’m sending out my full team and throwing hands right there in the starbucks

i like when both people in a relationship are scared of it

even better when they are not in a relationship but you can't exactly say they are not not in a relationship

I think losing control during sex would fix me a little ngl, just pushing in too deep and hitting something with the sensitive tip, gripping way harder than before because I just felt God in their tight little hole and ramming in twice as fast without explanation, bending over them and holding their hips fast so i can find that spot again, hit it over and over again, biting into their neck and mumbling sorry, sorry, i need you, sorry, hold still, sorry, please I need you as I make them cry and shake and scream

There’s a catastrophic female loneliness epidemic happening rn but nobody gaf bc women aren’t going out and hurting people about it we just betray and destroy ourselves for nothing

(:3 っ)∋ <- seal

”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet

hey bro last night was really fun, i felt my inner flower bloom in your presence. sadly the only butterfly species with a long enough proboscis went extinct long ago. but i saw you ate that fruit cup without cutlery so maybe not all hope is lost

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

the thing about Tangled is that this is a story geared towards little girls (even if it's "fun for the whole family," it's a disney princess movie, it's geared towards little girls), and it says, "here is a girl who is naive and doesn't know anything about the 'Real World' or how to navigate it safely and correctly. now pay close attention: the good guys are the ones who help her grow and explore new things while still respecting her own perspective and feelings, not making her feel stupid. the bad guys are the ones who tell her that she is too weak/immature/naive to do the things she wants to do, because she is fragile and needs protecting." and I watched this when I was nine years old and it resonated deep in a part of me that I couldn't articulate with words yet.

Doubly compelling when you think about it in contrast to, say, Red Riding Hood (best known example of a whole genre of fairy tales with the same lesson), in which the bad guy suggests exploration and straying from the path.