2001 will be my year

i love you matt jeevas and your four different hair colours

There’s a fun optical illusion that can happen if you look at this spiral long enough. Seriously, it’s so crazy, you have to try it your vision will feel crazy afterwards. All of you have to do is stare at the center of that spiral for thirty seconds, which I know sounds like a long time, but trust me. It isn’t. All you have to do is fixate all of your attention in the center of that spiral as I count down from thirty. I’m being weird about the spiral? Shut up and stare at it. Just like that.

“sorry i can’t watch porn my Dad hasn’t approved of” and other sentiments overheard from a just world

Anytime a girl mentions needing to pee it is imperative that you press on her bladder, hard.

Hey! I just asked around and everyone at the party is in agreement that you should get naked! You don't mind, right? You don't have to do anything else! Just stand around naked! The rest of us will keep our clothes on, so it won't be weird or anything!

You could drop a pill in my drink right in front of me and id drink it making full eye contact the entire time with the widest smile on my face