walk your own path.

me: xiao probably only thinks of himself as a weapon.

canon: xiao only thinks of himself as a weapon.

Barbara was only allowed to be depressed for thirty seconds. That’s what she kept telling herself, but then, she guessed this was her thirty seconds. Thirty seconds to be sad after she had failed to saved someone, and had to watch their loved ones grieve their passing. She had sung a song for them then, appropriately sad but hopeful, and it had lifted their spirits for a time, but the smile hadn’t completely reached their eyes. How could it? Their loved one was dead.

So she had wandered out to a more secluded area of the city, hoping to find some peace and quiet, and a place to be thirty seconds of sad where no one would see her. But who, of all people, would be there, but her sister, the Acting Master, Jean? Barbara blinked a few times, maybe to blink her tears away, eyes averted. But it was too late. Jean had already seen something was wrong.

“Um–” she stammered, bowing her head so she could wipe any tears that had fallen. Then she lifted her head and tried to smile. “Yes, of course, Jean! Everything is perfect! I–” she faltered. then started again. “How are you?” Trying to distract from herself, though they hadn’t talked in… ages?

Perhaps if she’d been raised as Barbara’s elder sister, she could be there for the younger girl in the way she needs. She could offer her support. Not as the Acting Grandmaster, but as herself. Allow Barbara to be herself too, for that matter. Perhaps she’d know what to say that could comfort her.

Though she solves this and that for the citizens of Mondstadt, no matter how trivial, there were still things Jean could not do. It’s not a secret to Barbara that Jean wishes to be a sister to her. They often have awkward exchanges due to that fact. Today seems to be no different. But... it’s true that she rarely sees Barbara cry. Worry does not quite convey enough of how she feels.

     Unlike their prior visits, they are prepared. Comfortable even. Wangshu Inn was not very accommodating of guests - visitors, as they were not even a guest of the establishment - who wanted to spend an undetermined amount of time outside. Only a banister one would be wise not to lean upon, for the towering and winding structure could only promise demise if one were to vault over. 

     Sitting upon a stone stool of their own creation - ankles daintily crossed - on the highest platfoorm, they glance up from the book they’d brought along. Whether or not Xiao would show was always a mystery. Not because the adeptus would avoid them ( not that they would know the intentions behind any of his actions, nor would they blame him per se for doing so ) but because of how elusive their kind was in general. It was how they’d lived for millennium after all. Only Zhongli had twined themselves so into human life, though they were proud of how close Xiao was still. 

     ❛ Even after all is said and done, I do not believe I have actually asked you such a thing. ❜ They do not mean only now. Even then, forever ago, had there ever been as simple of a question of are you all right ? No ; it was can you stand ? Then rise and fight. Is your injury grave ? Then go on, lift your weapon. If you give up now, there was no worth to you in battle at all. For your god, for your people, you must go on no matter your loss. 

     But those are times of old, of wars and battles and aches best laid to rest. Long since has that way of thinking left them, and they did not wish to return to it either. Zhongli’s gaze sinks into his, solemn and grave but open. They are late. So late.

     ❛ Is all well, Xiao ? ❜ The question to an answer already spoken ━ ❛ You need not hold your tongue, I am an Archon no longer. ❜ It is meant to be reassuring in a way ; speak to me as your equal, they say. Do not hide, do not fear. Your god is dead. ❛ I will listen, even to your ire if you are so graciously willing to share it with me. ❜

Xiao would not call it a willing closeness to the mortal beings of Liyue. It is merely a consequence of the end of the Archon War. Hatred, envy from gods long since gone... It seeps from Guyun Stone Forest, from time to time. Yet, it does not taint the world in the way it once did. Humans are freer to live within and outside of the Harbor. The adeptus still gives humans a wide berth. For their sake more than his own. Even among the adepti who have allied themselves with Xiao, none have survived at his side during battle. It is only one of several prices to the war he still fights.

To be stained by the darkness as he is is another. It has been the ruin of far too many before him. He still persists. He does not waver, he does not concede. Fighting is the only way he knows how to pay back for the crimes and sins he once committed.

Who is he, if he is not Liyue’s weapon?

It’s a question he’s never once considered. An answer he’s never thought to seek out. Even at his most exhausted state at the height of the Archon war, he did not question it. When Morax commanded him to stand, he would. Without hesitation. Without second guessing. Even as his own power ran him into the ground. Even now. Zhongli neither asks nor commands questions of old. Just as the death of Rex Lapis signifies the changing of an era. So, too, does the way they speak to him.

He knows not how to answer. He knows not how to think of Zhongli as an equal. For one who does not falter in the midst of a fight... one whose gaze alone is enough to send mortal, demon, and god alike running. When faced from such solemnity from the other... his gaze shifts away.

When Xiao finally speaks, he dances around their words. “Is our... contract over?” he responds to a question with one of his own. His words roll off the tongue harshly, but the anger is not directed at them. Rather, a profound sense of loss is the tone conveyed. A lack of direction, purpose, of knowing who he is to be when his god is dead.

@musaeon​ asked: ‘ will i regret this? ’ (goro to maki)

question starters!! -- accepting!!

A sharp gaze is cast in the detective’s direction. Theirs is a strange friendship, for lack of better words. Harukawa is one who would prefer to be left out of others’ thoughts. Out of sight, out of mind. She dwells best in the shadows. Akechi, however, thrives in the public eye. He knows how to work the crowds. Personality wise, they could not be more diametrically opposed if they tried.

Though she attends his school and is in the same year as him, they hadn’t crossed paths until a fateful night. Their target was one in the same. That was several months ago now. To be frank, Harukawa has no idea why she agreed to this. The occasional meet up. Akechi knowing her secret is a liability. The same could be said for her knowing his, too.

Today’s topic though... Is this his weird way of being vulnerable? To be honest, she has no idea how to handle this. Harukawa can guess this has something or other to do with the Phantom Thieves. Their popularity reigns the world over. They outshine the police, the government. Even in the underground there’s murmurings and chatter of how the group is upsetting the societal balance. And Akechi has publicly criticized them on more occasion than one. His popularity’s been undermined by them too.

She can guess he must be close to the truth of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. Rather, too close. Assassins cannot afford to have an Achilles’ heel. Bonds are the death of contracted killers. A weakness anyone can target.

It’s not that simple to cut others out of your life no matter how hard you try. Harukawa knows that better than anyone.

“...You’d be a real asshole, if you didn’t,” she finally speaks after a prolonged silence. Mincing her words is something she’s never known. Particularly when she’s required to be genuine. Again, who could understand better than her? Harukawa is plagued by regrets she must carry day and night. Her gaze shifts as she toys with her hair, eyes drifting out to the cityscape sprawling out all around.

Jean has little in the way of free time to have moments in herself. As the Acting Grand Master and as a knight, the needs of Mondstadt and its citizens outweigh her own. This is the duty her mother has raised her for as a member of the Gunnhildr Clan. Though the pressures are many and her work is never, she does not complain. She has no regrets about the path she’s chosen to follow.

She only hopes that she can uphold the legacy of the Dandelion Knight. It’s how she finds herself, again, in front of the great tree at Windrise. Lost in thought, prayer, now that the events of Dvalin’s attacks are behind the city. She’s grateful for another peaceful night. Until she realizes she’s not alone.

She turns to see who seeks her out. “Ah... Barbara?” Her younger sister... Deaconess of the church. Family by blood they may be, they’ve never been close. Distance formed first by their parents’ separation. Only for it to grow further still due to both of their duties toward Mondstadt. Jean’s longed to be close, but has never know how to close the gap. Even now, she struggles to find the words.

Xiao is 500% adorable. So adorable it breaks the 4rth wall.

...