melancholia

I feel so lost and confused. I want to work things out I really do. I hope they find it in there heart to not give up on us.

How are you quick to comfort another girl when you can’t even do that with me. You get upset when I’m going through something difficult. I don’t understand maybe I’m not good enough for you. It hurt knowing that keeping me around for company for your own comfort. For a whole year I was in depressed suicidal seeking answers and comfort from God. I have nobody to talk my problems when my partner whom I’m supposed to confide in is out there comforting another girl. It hurt but I have to accept it. I know you don’t want to stop communicating with her I always knew you have some feelings for her who am I to keep you away from her. I guess this will be my very last love from then on I’m going to just be alone until then.

Maybe next year on my birthday I’ll finally kill myself maybe by then I’ll have enough.

It’s painful knowing that you look at other girls and talk to them while I’m here waiting for you.

Maybe love isn’t for me.