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If you are reading this, you are probably exhausted. You might be nursing a bruise on your arm or staring at a hole in the drywall. You might be terrified of the next phone call from school.

You love your child more than anything. You know they are sweet, funny, and capable of deep love. But when the switch flips—when the eyes glaze over and the hands start flying—you aren't Mom or Dad anymore. You are a target.

Physical aggression—hitting, kicking, biting, throwing objects—is the hardest part of autism parenting. It isolates you. It makes you fear your own child. It makes you feel like a failure.

Stop that thought right now.

At Tellos, we know that aggression is not a sign of a "bad" kid or a "bad" parent. It is a distress signal. It is a clumsy, dangerous tool used by a child who is drowning in frustration. Here is the tactical, no-nonsense guide to reducing challenging behaviors in children with autism and how ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) can help you get your safe home back.

The "Why": Aggression is a Tool, Not a Trait

First, we have to shift your mindset. Your child isn't hitting you because they want to hurt you. They are hitting you because it works.

In the world of ABA, we view behavior as communication. Imagine your child has a toolbox.

Most kids have a screwdriver (talking), a wrench (negotiating), and a hammer (hitting).

Your child might only have a hammer.

If they don't have the words to say, "I am overwhelmed by the lights," they use the hammer (scream/hit). And because you naturally back off to stay safe, the hammer "fixed" the problem. The lights stopped bothering them because you took them out of the room.

To stop the aggression, we have to figure out why they are swinging the hammer. Usually, it is for one of four reasons (The Functions of Behavior):

"I want that!" (Access): Hitting gets them the iPad back after you took it away. It’s effective.

"I don't want to do this!" (Escape): Biting gets them out of homework. If you send them to a timeout in their room, you just gave them exactly what they wanted—an escape from the math worksheet.

"Look at me!" (Attention): Throwing a toy makes you stop cooking dinner and look at them immediately. To a lonely child, even a scolding is better than being ignored.

"My body feels wrong." (Sensory/Pain): Head-banging might distract them from a toothache, a stomach ache, or the overwhelming hum of the refrigerator that only they can hear.

The Detective Work: The ABCs of Aggression

You cannot fix what you do not understand. To replace the hammer, we need to see exactly when they are using it.

ABA therapists use a simple tool called the ABC Data Sheet. You don't need a clipboard; you can do this on a napkin or your phone notes app.

A = Antecedent (The Trigger): What happened immediately before the hit? (e.g., You said "Time to turn off the TV").

B = Behavior (The Action): What exactly did they do? (e.g., Kicked your shin).

C = Consequence (The Result): What did you do? (e.g., You backed off and let them watch 5 more minutes to avoid a fight).

The Pattern: If you track this for three days, you will see the code.

Trigger: Transition away from screens.

Action: Kick.

Result: More screen time.

Lesson Learned: "Kicking buys me time."

Once you see the pattern, you stop guessing and start planning.

The Tactical Plan: Replacement, Not Just Removal

This is where traditional discipline fails. If you just punish the kicking (taking away the hammer) but don't give them a way to ask for more time (a screwdriver), they will just find a sharper tool (like biting).

The ABA Solution: We teach Functional Communication Training (FCT). We replace the dangerous tool (aggression) with a safe tool (communication).

The Scenario: Your child hits you to escape homework.

The New Tool: We teach them to hand you a "Break" card, sign "Stop," or press a button on a speech device that says "I need a break."

The Promise: When they use the card, we honor it immediately. We show them, "Hey, you don't have to hurt me to be heard. Just show me the card, and you get a break."

We make the words more powerful than the fists. Eventually, we teach them to wait, but in the beginning, the card must work like magic.

Crisis Management: What to Do RIGHT NOW

Prevention is the goal, but what do you do when the aggression is happening right now? You can't teach a lesson during a tornado. You just need to survive it.

Here is a standard 3-step crisis protocol used by professionals.

1. Safety First 

Your only job right now is to keep everyone safe.

Clear the room: Get siblings and pets out immediately. They are not an audience.

Remove the danger: Move scissors, glass, or heavy objects out of reach.

Protect yourself: Turn your side to the child (it protects your vital organs). Wear long sleeves or arm guards if scratching is common. Do not engage in a physical power struggle unless absolutely necessary for safety.

2. Low-Arousal Response 

This is the hardest part. You must be the calm anchor in their chaos.

Zip it: Do not lecture. Do not ask "Why are you doing this?" Do not say "Use your words." Their logical brain is offline. They physically cannot process language right now.

Neutral face: Keep your face blank. If you look angry, scared, or shocked, it feeds their anxiety. Be boring.

Wait: If they are not hurting themselves or others, simply wait. Let the energy wave crash. Silence is your shield.

3. The Reconnection 

No apologies needed: Once they are calm, move on. They likely feel shame and confusion.

Return to the demand: This is crucial. If they hit you to get out of cleaning up, and you end up cleaning for them, aggression won. Once calm, guide them to pick up just one toy. We show them that hitting doesn't make the task go away, but asking for help does.

The Hardest Truth: The "Extinction Burst"

We need to warn you about the storm before the calm.

When you start changing the rules—when you stop letting aggression "work"—the behavior will often get worse before it gets better. This is called an Extinction Burst.

Think of a vending machine. You put your dollar in, press the button, and get a soda. One day, you put your dollar in, press the button, and... nothing. Do you walk away politely? No. You press the button again. You press it harder. You shake the machine. You kick it.

Your child is doing the same thing. "Hitting usually gets Mom to back off. Why isn't she backing off? I better hit HARDER."

This is a sign the plan is working. It means the child notices the change. You have to ride the wave. If you give in now—if you let them escape the task because they hit harder—you have just taught them to hit harder next time. Hold the line.

The Tellos Perspective: You Are Not Alone

Living with physical aggression creates a form of PTSD in parents. You flinch when your child moves too fast. You stop inviting friends over. You feel like a prisoner in your own home.

It does not have to be this way forever.

Aggression is treatable. We see it every day. Children who used to bite are now using talk-to-text apps to say "I'm mad." Children who threw chairs are now asking for squeeze hugs when they feel overwhelmed.

Our advice to you:

Don't wait. Aggression rarely gets better on its own. It usually evolves as the child gets bigger and stronger. Speed is care.

Get a Safety Plan. Ask your BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) for a written crisis plan so every adult (Grandma, babysitter) knows exactly what to do.

Forgive yourself. You are doing the hardest job on the planet. You will make mistakes. That is okay.

If your child was recently diagnosed with autism, your calendar probably looks like a jigsaw puzzle of specialist appointments. Two terms you will hear more than any others are Occupational Therapy (OT) and Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA).

At first glance, they can seem like they’re doing the same thing. Both therapists might be on the floor playing with your child, and both are working on "skills." However, they are looking at your child through two very different lenses.

At Tellos, we believe you shouldn't have to choose one over the other. Instead, you need to understand how these two disciplines combine to provide the most effective therapy for increasing functional skills in autism. While one builds the behavior, the other builds the physical and sensory capacity.

Here is the straightforward, tactical breakdown of the differences between OT and ABA, and how they team up to support your child’s independence.

The Fundamental Difference: "Why" vs. "How"

To simplify it for a busy parent:

ABA focuses on the Why of Behavior: ABA is rooted in the science of learning. It looks at what a child does and what happens in the environment to make that behavior happen again. It uses data to teach new social, communication, and learning skills by breaking them into small, manageable steps.

OT focuses on the How of Function: OT is rooted in biology and neurology. It looks at how a child’s body and brain process the world. It focuses on the physical, sensory, and motor skills needed to perform "the job of living"—things like getting dressed, writing, or staying calm when a room is too loud.

What Does ABA Target?

ABA is often the "architect" of learning. It builds the foundation of how a child interacts with others and follows routines. It assumes that if we can identify the motivation, we can teach the skill through reinforcement.

Communication: Learning to ask for a snack using words, signs, or a device instead of screaming.

Social Skills: Learning the "rules" of play—taking turns, responding to a name, or following instructions from a teacher.

Behavior Reduction: Using a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) to figure out what a child is trying to say through their actions and replacing meltdowns with better tools.

Academics: Breaking down "pre-learning" skills like matching, sorting, and sitting at a desk so the child is ready for a school environment.

What Does OT Target?

OT is the "specialist" for the physical and sensory experience. If ABA teaches a child to get dressed, OT teaches them the finger strength to pull the zipper and the sensory tolerance to handle the feel of the fabric against their skin.

Sensory Integration: Helping a child who is over-sensitive to lights or sounds (hypersensitive) or someone who needs extra movement to feel "grounded" (hyposensitive).

Fine Motor Skills: Improving hand and finger strength for handwriting, using a fork, or manipulating buttons.

Gross Motor Skills: Working on balance, coordination, and "proprioception"—knowing where your body is in space without looking.

Self-Regulation: Providing "heavy work" (like pushing a cart) or sensory breaks to help a child stay in a "calm-alert" state rather than being "revved up" or "shut down."

The Synergy: A Real-World Example

Let’s look at a common goal that causes stress in many households: Eating a Meal.

The ABA Role: The ABA therapist focuses on the routine. They work on the child staying in their seat, using a "First/Then" board (First three bites, then iPad), and rewarding the child for trying a new food. They handle the motivation.

The OT Role: The OT notices the child has "oral motor" issues—it’s actually hard for them to chew certain textures. They also notice the child is overwhelmed by the smell of the food or the sound of the clinking silverware. The OT provides specific tools, like a weighted lap pad or a special spoon, to make the physical act of eating possible.

Without ABA, the child might have the physical ability to eat but no motivation to stay at the table. Without OT, the child might want to stay at the table but find the sensory experience of the food physically painful or nauseating.

Why Collaboration is Your Secret Weapon

In the past, these two fields sometimes existed in silos. Today, we know that the most successful programs are collaborative. As a parent, you shouldn't feel like you are a "middleman" relaying messages between two different worlds.

When your ABA team and your OT team talk to each other, your child wins.

The OT can give the ABA therapist a "sensory diet" to use during sessions to keep the child focused.

The ABA therapist can use reinforcement techniques to help the child get through a difficult fine-motor task (like cutting with scissors) that the OT is teaching.

This synergy prevents your child from being overwhelmed. If the OT knows the child is working on a very difficult communication goal in ABA, they might make their OT session a bit more "low-demand" and sensory-focused that day to prevent a meltdown.

The Parent’s Perspective: Managing the Balance

It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the number of hours your child spends in therapy. Here are three tactical ways to keep the "jigsaw" from falling apart:

Shared Goals: Once every quarter, ask your OT and BCBA (from the ABA team) to jump on a 15-minute call. Make sure their goals aren't contradicting each other.

The "Skill vs. Will" Test: If your child isn't doing a task, ask yourself: Are they refusing? (ABA focus) or Are they struggling physically? (OT focus).

Home Integration: Don't try to be a therapist 24/7. Ask each provider for one simple thing you can do during your normal routine (like bath time or car rides) so that therapy doesn't feel like an extra chore.

Your Tactical Takeaway: The "Specialist" Gut Check

Not sure which one you need to prioritize right now? Use this quick check:

Is the environment the problem? If your child is constantly "on edge" because of sounds, smells, or the "feel" of their clothes, an OT evaluation is your first priority.

Is the interaction the problem? If your child is struggling to follow directions, communicate their needs, or play with peers, ABA will provide the most direct support.

If you are reading this, you are likely in the dreaded "limbo."

You know your child is struggling. You’ve noticed the speech delays that haven't resolved, the sensory sensitivities that make haircuts a nightmare, or the intense meltdowns that leave you both exhausted on the kitchen floor. You’ve probably spent late nights scouring the internet for comprehensive autism therapy resources, hoping to find a clear path forward. You’ve done the research, and you know that Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) could be the game-changer your child needs to communicate and thrive.

But every time you call a therapy provider, you hit the same administrative wall: "Do you have a formal medical diagnosis?"

If the answer is "not yet," you are stuck.

At Tellos, we know that the autism diagnosis evaluation feels like a terrifying hurdle. Is it a test? Will they judge my parenting? Will it label my child forever?

Let’s strip away the fear. Here is the straightforward truth about what the evaluation is, why it is the "Golden Ticket" for insurance coverage, and exactly what to expect on the big day.

Why This Piece of Paper Matters 

Before we talk about what happens in the appointment, you need to understand why you are doing it. You aren't getting an evaluation to "label" your child or put them in a box. You are getting it to unlock a door that is currently bolted shut.

The Insurance Reality In the US healthcare system, insurance companies (and Medicaid) operate on "Medical Necessity." They generally will not pay for intensive therapies like ABA—which can cost thousands of dollars a month—without a specific medical code: F84.0 (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

Without the Diagnosis: ABA is considered "experimental" or "educational" by insurers, meaning they won't pay a dime.

With the Diagnosis: The diagnostic report acts as your "Golden Ticket." It transforms ABA from an expensive out-of-pocket luxury into a covered medical necessity.

Think of this appointment not as a judgment day, but as the necessary administrative step required to get your child the funding they deserve.

A Critical Distinction: School vs. Medical Evaluations

This is where 90% of parents get confused, so let’s clear it up. There are two types of "autism evaluations," and they do very different things.

The Educational Evaluation (The School): This is performed by your school district. It determines if your child qualifies for an IEP (Individualized Education Program). It is free, but it is NOT a medical diagnosis. It will not unlock insurance coverage for private ABA therapy or medical services.

The Medical Evaluation (The Doctor): This is performed by a specialist (Developmental Pediatrician, Neurologist, or Psychologist). This is the one you need to get insurance to pay for Tellos or any other ABA provider.

The Process: It’s Not a Medical Test, It’s a Playdate

Parents often picture a cold, sterile room with needles, brain scans, and white coats. Breathe easy: that is not what an autism evaluation looks like.

Most comprehensive evaluations (often called the "Gold Standard") are behavioral. They look like play. Here is the step-by-step breakdown.

Step 1: The Parent Interview 

The evaluator starts with you. They know that they are seeing a 2-hour snapshot of your child, but you have watched the whole movie of their life.

The Deep Dive: They will ask about pregnancy, birth history, and milestones. When did they smile? When did they point? When did they say their first word?

The "Vineland" or "ABAS": You will likely fill out a questionnaire about your child's "Adaptive Skills"—their ability to function independently. Can they use a spoon? Can they dress themselves? Do they understand danger?

Tellos Tip: Be Brutally Honest. This is not the time to brag. It is natural to want to protect your child, but if you minimize their struggles, you minimize the help they will receive. If your child isn't potty trained at 5, say it. If they scream when the route to school changes, say it.

Step 2: The Child Assessment 

While you talk, the specialist will interact with your child. They typically use a tool called the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS-2).

To your child, this looks like a fun box of toys. To the doctor, it is a structured way to check for social communication skills. The doctor creates specific social opportunities (called "presses") to see how your child reacts.

Examples of "Presses":

The Bubble Test: The doctor blows bubbles, then pauses and screws the lid on tight. They wait to see if your child makes eye contact to request "more," or hands the jar back for help. (Checking for Joint Attention).

The Birthday Party: They might bring out a baby doll and a play cake. Does your child pretend to feed the doll and sing "Happy Birthday," or do they just inspect the doll’s eye or spin the wheels of a car? (Checking for Functional/Imaginative Play).

The Name Call: The doctor will call your child's name while they are playing. Does your child turn around? (Checking for Social Response).

Step 3: The Verdict 

At the end of the process, the doctor will synthesize the data. If your child meets the criteria for ASD based on the DSM-5, they will give you a report that includes a Severity Level (Level 1, 2, or 3).

Why this matters for ABA: This level often acts as a guide for how many hours of therapy insurance will approve.

Level 1 (Requiring Support): Might be approved for 10–20 hours of focused ABA to work on social skills.

Level 2 & 3 (Substantial Support): Often approved for 25–40 hours of comprehensive ABA to work on communication, safety, and daily living skills.

Tactical Tips: How to "Ace" the Appointment

You can’t "study" for a diagnosis, but you can prepare to ensure the doctor sees the full, accurate picture.

Bring "Video Evidence": Kids often act differently in a doctor's office. They might be shy ("shut down") or hyperactive. If you have videos on your phone of the behaviors that concern you—hand-flapping, lining up toys, toe-walking, or meltdowns—show the doctor. Video proof is undeniable and helps them diagnose accurately even if your child is having a "good day" in the office.

The "Monday Morning" Hack: Waitlists for evaluations can be 6–12 months long. Don't just wait. Call the clinic every Monday morning and ask: "Do you have any cancellations for this week?" Be the squeaky wheel. We have seen parents shave months off their wait time just by being polite but persistent.

Bring the "Survival Kit": Evaluations are long (2–4 hours). A hungry child is a grumpy child, which can skew the results. Bring specific "high-value" snacks, drinks, and a tablet/toy for the waiting periods.

The Emotional Aftermath

Leaving the clinic with a diagnosis in hand is heavy. Even if you knew in your gut it was coming, seeing the word "Autism" on official medical stationery hits different.

You might feel grief for the future you imagined. You might feel relief that you finally have an answer. You might feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of paperwork.

All of that is valid.

But remember this: Your child hasn't changed. The child walking out of that clinic is the same amazing, lovable, unique kid who walked in. The diagnosis doesn't change their laugh, their snuggles, or their potential. The only difference is that now, you have the map. You aren't lost in the woods anymore.

Next Steps: Turning the Paper into Action

Once you have that report, do not put it in a drawer. That report is currency.

Scan it immediately. Save it to your phone and cloud. You will need to email this document a dozen times in the next month.

Call an ABA Provider (Like Tellos).

We take that report and submit it to your insurance to get authorization.

We use the doctor's recommendations to build a therapy plan that targets your child's specific needs—whether that's potty training, talking, or making friends.

The evaluation is just the starting line. The real journey—where your child learns to communicate and thrive—starts now.

Let’s skip the fluff. If you are reading this, you are likely a parent with a million tabs open. You have likely already researched what is ABA therapy for children, and now you are faced with the next, often more exhausted hurdle: figuring out how to pay for it without drowning in paperwork.

You don't have time for long introductions or insurance jargon. You need answers.

Here is the short answer: Yes, ABA therapy is covered by most major insurance plans and Medicaid in all 50 states.

But—and there is always a "but" with insurance—coverage isn't automatic. It depends entirely on your specific plan, your location, and the specific coding of your child’s diagnosis.

At Tellos, we believe speed is care. Every day spent fighting a claim or sitting on hold with a representative is a day your child isn’t getting the support they need. So, we are going to walk you through the entire insurance landscape, from the initial phone call to fighting a denial, so you can get approved and get moving.

The "Medical vs. Educational" Trap

Before we dive into your policy, we need to clear up the biggest misconception parents face.

You might have an IEP (Individualized Education Program) from your school that says your child has autism. The school might even be providing some services. However, medical insurance does not care about your school paperwork.

To get insurance to pay for ABA therapy, you are operating in the medical model, not the educational model.

Educational Diagnosis: Used by schools to determine eligibility for special education services.

Medical Diagnosis: Used by insurance companies to authorize payment for healthcare services.

The Action Item: If you only have an educational classification of autism, your insurance will likely deny coverage immediately. You must have a formal diagnostic report from a developmental pediatrician, neurologist, or licensed psychologist that specifically codes for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

The 3 "Must-Haves" for Approval

Before you pick up the phone to call your insurance provider, you need to ensure your paperwork is bulletproof. Insurance companies look for reasons to say "no" or "need more info." Don't give them the chance.

1. The Comprehensive Diagnostic Evaluation (CDE) This isn't just a note from a doctor saying "ASD." This is the full report. It usually includes standardized testing scores (like the ADOS-2 or CARS-2) and a detailed history. If your report is older than 2 or 3 years, some insurance companies may demand a re-evaluation. Check the date on your report right now.

2. The Letter of Medical Necessity Think of this as the prescription. Your diagnosing clinician or your ABA provider will write this. It connects the dots. It explains why ABA is medically necessary for your specific child to prevent regression or build functional skills.

3. The Assessment Authorization You cannot just start therapy tomorrow. First, the insurance company has to agree to pay for an ABA supervisor (BCBA) to meet your child and write a treatment plan. This is called the "Assessment Authorization." If you skip this step and go straight to therapy, you will likely be stuck with the bill.

Deep Dive: The Rules by Insurance Type

The rules of engagement change depending on who is signing the check. Here is what you need to know based on your specific situation.

Medicaid

If your child is covered by Medicaid, you have federal law on your side. Since 2014, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) clarified that services for autism, including ABA, must be covered for children under 21 under the EPSDT (Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnostic, and Treatment) benefit.

The Good News: Cost is rarely an issue; there are usually no copays.

The Challenge: The network. Finding a provider who accepts Medicaid and has immediate openings can be difficult. Waitlists are common.

The Tellos Tip: Do not just call one provider. Call ten. Get on every waitlist.

Fully-Funded Private Plans

These are the standard health plans you buy on the marketplace or get from small-to-mid-sized employers. These plans are subject to State Autism Mandates. Currently, all 50 states have some form of mandate requiring insurance to cover autism treatment. This means they must offer ABA benefits, though they can still impose copays and deductibles.

Self-Funded Plans 

This is where it gets tricky. If you work for a massive corporation, a union, or a government entity, your employer might "self-fund" their insurance. This means the company pays the claims directly, and the insurance company (like Blue Cross or Aetna) just manages the paperwork.

These plans are regulated by a federal law called ERISA, which overrides state laws.

The Risk: Because they override state laws, self-funded plans can technically exclude autism therapy, even if your state mandates it.

The Solution: You have to ask HR specifically. Do not ask "Is ABA covered?" Ask: "Is our plan self-funded, and does it have a specific exclusion for autism therapies?"

The Financial Reality: Hidden Costs

Just because insurance "covers" ABA doesn't mean it is free. ABA is an intensive therapy—often 10 to 30 hours a week. Those hours add up, and so do the costs if you aren't careful.

1. The Deductible This is the amount you pay before insurance kicks in a single penny. If your deductible is $3,000, you are paying the first $3,000 of therapy out of pocket. For ABA, you will likely hit this deductible in the first month or two.

2. The Out-of-Pocket Maximum This is your safety net. Once you pay this amount (including deductibles and copays) in a calendar year, insurance pays 100% of the rest.

Strategy: If you are starting ABA, do the math. You will likely hit your out-of-pocket maximum. Plan your family budget assuming you will pay that full amount over the course of the year.

3. Copays vs. Co-insurance

Copay: A flat fee (e.g., $30 per session). Be careful here—ABA sessions happen daily. $30/day becomes $600/month very quickly.

Co-insurance: You pay a percentage (e.g., 20%). This can be cheaper or more expensive depending on the negotiated rate of the therapy.

The Tactical Checklist: What to Ask Your Insurer

Don't go into a phone call unprepared. When you call the number on the back of your card, you are often speaking to a generalist, not an autism specialist. You need to drive the conversation.

Ask these exact questions. Write down the answers, the date, and the name of the representative.

"Is Applied Behavior Analysis (CPT codes 97151 through 97158) a covered benefit under my specific plan?" (Giving the codes is crucial—it avoids ambiguity).

"Is a pre-authorization required for the initial assessment (CPT code 97151)?"

"What is my deductible, and how much of it has been met so far this year?"

"Do I have a flat copay per day, or a copay per unit of therapy?" (This is a huge distinction).

"Is there a hard cap on the number of hours or dollar amount per year?"

The "Red Tape" Trap 

The reality is that insurance companies often operate on bureaucracy. We operate on results.

We started Tellos because we saw families sitting on waitlists while care got delayed by red tape. We believe that is unacceptable.

Sometimes, despite doing everything right, you might get a denial. Do not panic. A denial is not the end of the road; it is usually just a request for more paperwork.

Common Denial Reason 1: "Lack of Progress."

The Fix: The provider needs to show better data. Graphs and charts showing even small wins can reverse this.

Common Denial Reason 2: "Not Medically Necessary."

The Fix: The Letter of Medical Necessity was likely too vague. It needs to be rewritten to specifically highlight safety concerns or developmental gaps.

Your Next Step

You are the project manager of your child’s care, but you shouldn't have to be the insurance expert, too.

Don't wait. Verify your benefits today.

If you are hitting walls, getting confused by the jargon, or just feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information, lean on your potential provider. A high-quality ABA provider (like Tellos) should handle the authorization process for you. They should be the ones on the phone fighting for hours, submitting the codes, and arguing the medical necessity.

You have a more important job: being a parent.

If you are a parent of a child with autism, you likely know the sound of "The Scream."

It’s that specific, piercing cry that happens when the iPad dies, when the cookie breaks, or when it’s time to put on shoes. It’s exhausting, it’s loud, and it often feels like your child is fighting you.

But here is the truth that changes everything: Your child isn't trying to be "bad." They are trying to talk.

In the world of ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), we have a specific tool for this called Functional Communication Training (FCT). It is the backbone of teaching communication skills autism therapy relies on to reduce challenging behaviors—not by silencing your child, but by giving them a better voice.

Here is your busy-parent guide to functional communication training autism strategies that actually work in the chaos of real life.

The Core Concept: Behavior is Communication

Imagine you are in a foreign country where you don't speak the language. You are starving. You ask for food in English, but no one understands. You try gesturing, but they ignore you. Finally, out of sheer desperation, you slam your hand on the table. Suddenly, someone brings you bread.

What did you just learn? "Slamming the table gets me bread."

Your child is in that foreign country every single day.

They scream because it gets them the iPad.

They hit because it gets them out of homework.

They flop on the floor because it makes you look at them.

FCT is simply the process of teaching them a "word" (or sign, or picture) that gets them the bread faster and easier than slamming the table. It’s about upgrading their toolbox. If we take away the screaming (the hammer) without giving them words (the screwdriver), they are left with nothing.

Step 1: Be a Detective 

You cannot replace a behavior until you know why it’s happening. In ABA, we call this the "Function." Almost every meltdown falls into one of four categories, easily remembered by the acronym S.E.A.T.:

Sensory: "I do it because it feels good." (e.g., humming, rocking, chewing).

Escape: "I want to stop doing this." (e.g., running away when the math book comes out).

Attention: "Look at me!" (e.g., throwing a toy while you are on the phone).

Tangible: "I want that thing." (e.g., crying for a cookie or the iPad).

Tactical Move: Next time the behavior happens, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: What did they get out of this?

Did I give them a toy to quiet them down? (Tangible).

Did I send them to their room? (Escape).

Did I yell "Stop it"? (Attention).

Once you know the function, you know the cure.

Step 2: Choose the "Replacement" 

This is where the magic happens. We need to swap the "Problem Behavior" (Screaming) for a "Functional Communication" (Talking/Signing).

The Golden Rule: The new way must be EASIER and FASTER than the old way. This is called the "Response Effort." If screaming takes 1 unit of energy and saying "Mommy, may I please have the iPad" takes 10 units of energy, they will keep screaming.

Examples of Replacements based on Ability:

Non-Speaking/Early Learner:

Function: Wants a Cookie.

Replacement: Handing you a picture card of a cookie (PECS) or a simple sign for "Eat."

Emerging Speaker:

Function: Wants to leave the table.

Replacement: Saying "All done."

Fluent Speaker:

Function: Wants you to watch them play.

Replacement: Saying "Look at me!" or tapping your shoulder.

Step 3: The Setup 

You cannot teach FCT during a meltdown. A drowning person cannot learn to swim. You have to teach this when they are calm and motivated.

The Scenario: You know they want juice.

Create the Need: Put the juice in sight but out of reach. This creates a "Motivating Operation."

Wait for Interest: Watch them look at it or reach for it.

Prompt Immediately: Before they start screaming (this is key!), prompt the new behavior.

Say: "Say Juice."

Or: Gently guide their hand to pick up the picture of the juice and hand it to you.

Reinforce Instantly: As soon as they do it (even if you helped them 100%), give them the juice immediately.

Say: "YES! You asked for juice!"

The Lesson: "Wow, I didn't have to scream. I just handed Mom this card and I got the juice. That was easy."

Step 4: The Payoff 

This is the hardest part for parents. For FCT to work, you have to change the rules of the universe.

Rule 1: The new communication must work 100% of the time (at first).

Rule 2: The old behavior (screaming) must work 0% of the time.

The Hard Truth: If they scream for 5 minutes and you finally give in because you have a headache, you have just taught them: "Screaming for 5 minutes is the price of a cookie." Next time, they will scream for 10 minutes.

The Fix:

If they say "Juice": You give it to them right away. You are proving that "Words = Magic."

If they scream: You wait. You turn away slightly. You do not give the juice. You wait for a breath (even a split second of silence), then prompt them to say "Juice." Then you give it.

Real-World "FCT" Examples

Here is what this looks like on a typical Tuesday.

1. The "Escape Artist"

The Behavior: Every time you bring out the math worksheet, your child rips the paper or slides under the table.

The Function: Escape (They want out).

The FCT Fix: Tape a red card that says "BREAK" to the table.

The Training: As soon as you see them get frustrated (furrowed brow, sighing), point to the card. Guide their hand to touch it. Immediately say, "Okay! You asked for a break." Remove the paper for 1 minute.

The Result: They learn that touching the card stops the math, so they don't need to rip it.

2. The "Attention Seeker"

The Behavior: You are on the phone. Your child starts throwing trucks at the wall or hitting their sibling.

The Function: Attention (Even you yelling "Stop!" is attention).

The FCT Fix: Teach them to tap your arm.

The Training: Practice when you aren't on the phone. Have them tap you. Immediately turn and give huge praise. "I love how you tapped me!"

The Result: They learn that a gentle tap gets Mom's eyes faster than a flying truck.

3. The "Tangible Tantrum"

The Behavior: Screaming in the checkout line for candy.

The Function: Tangible (Access to the item).

The FCT Fix: A simple "Yes/No" board or a "Wait" card.

The Training: If they can have it, prompt "Candy please." If they can't, validate the want ("You want candy") but hold the boundary. FCT doesn't mean they get everything they want; it means they have a way to ask.

Common FCT Mistakes 

If you tried this and it didn't work, here is likely why:

The "New Word" was too hard. If your child is non-speaking, demanding they say the full word "Cookie" is too much effort. Accept a sign, a sound ("Cuh"), or a picture exchange. Lower the bar until they are successful.

The Reward was too slow. If they ask nicely and you say, "Sure, just let me finish this email," you lost them. In the beginning, the reinforcement must be immediate.

You faded too fast. Don't expect them to use the new word perfectly every time. You might need to prompt them for weeks before they do it independently.

The Bottom Line

Functional Communication Training is about respect. It acknowledges that your child has needs, wants, and big feelings, and they deserve a way to express them that doesn't involve hurting themselves or others.

By replacing chaos with communication, you aren't just "fixing behavior." You are giving your child the most powerful tool in the world: A voice.

If you have just received an autism diagnosis, you probably feel like you’ve been dropped into a foreign country without a map, a guide, or even a dictionary.

One day, you were just a parent worried about why your toddler wasn't pointing. The next day, you are expected to be an expert in neurology, special education law, and insurance billing codes. You are suddenly the CEO of a startup you never asked to found.

You type autism treatment options and therapy into the search bar late at night, and the results are endless: ABA, OT, ST, Floortime, RDI, CBT, Music Therapy, Equine Therapy, Stem Cells, Special Diets...

It is overwhelming. You feel the pressure to do everything, fearing that if you miss one thing, you are failing your child. But you only have so many hours in the day (and so many dollars in the bank). You need a strategy, not a laundry list.

Here is the straightforward, no-fluff guide to the most effective therapies, how they fit together, and why ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is often the glue that holds them all together.

The "Operating System" Analogy

To understand how these different professionals work together, think of your child’s brain like a high-powered, complex computer.

Speech Therapy (ST) is an app for communication.

Occupational Therapy (OT) is an app for sensory regulation and motor skills.

Social Skills Groups are apps for making friends.

But you can’t run powerful apps without a stable Operating System. ABA Therapy is the Operating System.

ABA is the framework of learning itself. It focuses on motivation, attention, and behavior. Without those foundational elements, the other "apps" tend to crash.

The Scenario: The Speech Therapist teaches your child how to physically say the word "Cookie." They have the mechanics down. But at home, your child doesn't want to say it because grabbing the cookie is faster and easier.

The ABA Role: The ABA therapist builds the motivation to use that word in the real world. They create the environment where "using your words" pays off. They make the "Speech app" actually run in daily life.

The Big Three: Your Core Team

While there are dozens of niche therapies (from horseback riding to art), most families build their foundation on these three pillars.

1. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)

The Focus: Behavior, Motivation, and Learning "How to Learn."

The Goal: The primary goal is to reduce interfering behaviors (like meltdowns, aggression, or self-injury) and increase functional skills (like toilet training, following instructions, and playing).

Why it’s usually first: It creates the "readiness" for everything else. If a child cannot sit for 30 seconds, attend to a face, or tolerate a small frustration, they cannot succeed in a Speech or OT session. ABA builds the "learning muscles."

The "Assent" Shift: Modern ABA isn't about forcing compliance. It's about gaining assent (willingness). We want the child to want to participate because it’s fun and rewarding.

2. Speech-Language Pathology (ST)

The Focus: Communication (both verbal and non-verbal).

The Goal: Most people think Speech Therapy is just about articulation (fixing a lisp or pronouncing 'R's). For autism, it is much deeper. It covers:

Expressive Language: How they tell you what they want (Words, Sign Language, or AAC devices like iPads).

Receptive Language: How much they understand of what you say.

Pragmatic Language: This is the social side. Knowing when to say hello, how to take turns in conversation, understanding sarcasm, and reading facial expressions.

The Synergy: Your ABA team needs to know exactly how the Speech therapist is teaching a sound. You don't want the ABA team accepting "Ba" for "Ball" if the Speech team says the child is capable of "Ball." Consistency is key.

3. Occupational Therapy (OT)

The Focus: Independence ("Occupation") and Sensory Regulation.

The Goal: A child's "occupation" is to play and learn. OT helps them do that job.

Fine Motor: The tiny muscles needed to zip a zipper, button a shirt, hold a pencil, or use a spoon.

Sensory Integration: This is often the game-changer for parents. If your child crashes into walls, spins in circles, hates tags in their shirts, or covers their ears at the sound of a flush, their sensory system is overloaded. OT helps "rewire" those responses so the world isn't so painful or chaotic.

The Synergy: If your child has a meltdown every time they have to write, an ABA therapist might look at the behavior (they are avoiding work). An OT might look at the How to Prioritize (The "Seasons" of Therapy)

You cannot do it all at once. If you try to schedule 40 hours of therapy plus soccer plus school, you will burn out, and your child will check out. Prioritize based on your child’s current "season" of life.

Season 1: The Early Years 

The Priority: Communication & Regulation.

The Strategy: This is usually the time for Intensive ABA (EIBI) to capitalize on neuroplasticity and close the developmental gap. Speech and OT are often "consultative" during this phase, meaning those therapists train the ABA team to run their programs daily during the long ABA sessions.

The Parent Trap: Feeling guilty that your child isn't in "normal" preschool. Remind yourself: You are giving them the toolbox they need to handle preschool later.

Season 2: The School Years 

The Priority: Social Skills & School Success.

The Strategy: Therapy hours usually drop significantly to after-school windows. The focus shifts to Social Skills Groups (learning to lose a game without flipping the board, understanding bullying) and Executive Function (remembering to bring the homework folder home).

Season 3: The Teen Years 

The Priority: Independence & Safety.

The Strategy: We move therapy out of the clinic and into the community. We work on hygiene (showering independently), vocational skills (job training), and navigating public transport. The question shifts from "Can they talk?" to "Can they live safely?"

The "Alternative" Therapies: Nice to Have vs. Need to Have

You will hear about Music Therapy, Art Therapy, Horse Therapy (Hippotherapy), and various Diet Protocols.

The Verdict: These can be wonderful supplements. They build confidence, core strength, and joy.

The Rule: Treat them as extracurriculars. They are the "dessert," not the "dinner." Do not sacrifice your core evidence-based hours (ABA/ST/OT) for them, but add them if your child loves them and you have the bandwidth. A happy child learns better.

The Missing Piece: Generalization

The biggest complaint about therapy is: "He does it perfectly for the therapist, but he won't do it for me."

This is a failure of Generalization. Autistic brains often struggle to take a skill learned in Room A with Person B and apply it to Room C with Person D.

The Fix: You must ask your team: "How are we generalizing this?"

The Strategy: Once a skill is mastered in the clinic, the therapy should move to the lobby, then the parking lot, then your home. You (the parent) must be brought in to practice the skill while the therapist coaches you.

The Tellos Bottom Line

There is no single "magic pill" among therapies for autism. The magic happens in the combination and the communication.

The best approach is a unified front. You don't want a Speech Therapist doing one thing and an ABA Therapist doing the exact opposite. You want a "War Room" mentality where the experts talk to each other.

Your Job: You are the General Contractor of this house. You don't have to be the expert electrician or the expert plumber. You don't need to know how to run the wires. But you do have to ensure the experts are following the same blueprints and rowing in the same direction.

Home is your sanctuary. It’s where you unmask, relax, and just be. But for parents of children on the autism spectrum, home is also the backdrop for the daily grind: the morning routine struggles, the mealtime negotiations, and the bedtime battles.

This is exactly why home based ABA therapy is often the most effective way to create meaningful change. It brings the science of learning right to the source of the struggle, without the commute.

If you are considering bringing services into your house, you might be wondering how to balance "therapy mode" with just being a family. It can feel invasive to have a professional in your space at 4:00 PM on a Tuesday. That feeling is valid.

Here are straightforward home-based ABA session tips and a deep dive into the process to help you make these sessions work for you, not against you.

The Reality Check: "Just Playing" vs. Therapy

One of the most common comments parents make during the first few weeks of in-home ABA is, "It looks like you are just playing with him."

If it looks that way, the therapist is doing a great job.

In a clinic, you might see "Discrete Trial Training" (DTT)—structured work at a table with flashcards. While that has its place, home therapy thrives on Natural Environment Teaching (NET). This is crucial because children learn best when they are engaged and having fun.

The Clinic Way: The therapist holds up a picture of a juice box and asks, "What is this?" The child says, "Juice." They get a token.

The Home Way: The therapist waits until the child is thirsty and walking toward the kitchen. They block access to the fridge slightly to prompt communication. The child has to say (or sign/exchange a picture for) "Juice" to get it.

Why this matters: The child isn't just labeling a picture; they are learning that communication has power. They are learning that using their words gets them what they want in the real world. That "play" on the floor with the trains? That is where we teach turn-taking, sharing, prepositions ("put the train under the bridge"), and frustration tolerance when the track breaks.

The "Generalization" Advantage

The biggest hurdle in autism therapy is generalization—the ability to take a skill learned in one place and use it in another.

Kids with autism often struggle to connect these dots. We hear it all the time: "He uses the potty perfectly at school, but refuses at home." Or, "He creates complex sentences with his therapist, but only grunts at me."

This happens because the child has associated the skill only with that specific teacher or that specific room. By conducting home based ABA therapy, we skip the transfer gap.

Real-World Triggers: We don't simulate a loud blender sound on a phone app; we use your actual blender to teach tolerance.

Real-World Rewards: We don't use generic tokens; we use access to their actual favorite backyard swing.

The Goal: We don't want them to be "good at therapy." We want them to be successful at life.

What to Expect: The First 30 Days

Starting home therapy is a transition for the whole family. Knowing what to expect can lower your anxiety.

Pairing (The "Fun" Phase): For the first few sessions, the therapist places almost zero demands on your child. Their only goal is to become the "giver of good things." They will bring toys, snacks, and fun. This builds trust so that later, when they ask your child to do something hard, the child is willing to work for them.

Assessment: The Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) will likely observe routines to see where the breakdowns happen. They aren't judging your parenting; they are analyzing the environmental triggers.

Routine Building: You will start to see a rhythm. The therapist arrives, sets up, runs programs, and then debriefs with you. It will feel weird at first, but it quickly becomes just another part of your Tuesday.

3 Tactical Ways to Maximize Your Sessions

You don’t need to hover over the therapist (please, go drink your coffee while it’s hot!), but you are a critical part of the equation. Here is how to get the most ROI (Return on Investment) from your sessions.

1. Define Your Specific "Pain Points"

Therapists are experts in behavior, but you are the expert on your family. Be explicitly clear about what makes your daily life difficult. If you don't speak up, the therapist might focus on academic goals when you are drowning in behavioral issues.

The Tactic: Don't just say "I want him to listen better."

Say this instead: "Our biggest struggle is 5:00 PM when I’m cooking dinner. He empties the toy bins and screams if I don't look. We need a protocol for independent play during that 30-minute window."

Why: This gives the therapist a concrete, functional goal that directly improves your quality of life.

2. The "Fade Out" Hand-off

A common trap is the "Magic Therapist" syndrome. The child becomes an angel for the therapist because the therapist is consistent, neutral, and fun. Then, the therapist leaves, and the old behaviors return for Mom and Dad.

The Tactic: The last 15–20 minutes of a session should often involve Parent Coaching.

Action: Ask the therapist to "fade out." You deliver the instruction (e.g., "Clean up blocks") while the therapist stands back. They are there to coach you, not the child. They can whisper, "Wait him out, don't repeat the instruction," or "Great job, now reinforce him immediately." This transfers the authority and control back to you.

3. Designate a "Therapy Zone" (But Keep it Flexible)

While ABA happens everywhere, having a home base helps with structure, especially for younger children.

The Tactic: Have a specific bin or shelf for therapy materials.

Why: It creates a visual cue. When the "Blue Bin" comes out, it signals that it is time to focus. It also helps compartmentalize "work time" so your entire house doesn't feel like a workspace 24/7. When the bin is put away, therapy is "done," and your child can relax.

Managing the Logistics: Privacy, Siblings, and Chaos

Let’s be honest: having a non-family member in your house for 10–20 hours a week is a massive adjustment. It impacts your privacy and your other children.

The Sibling Factor Siblings often feel left out or jealous of the "special playmate" their brother or sister has.

Involve Them: Siblings are incredible peer models. If the therapist is working on social skills, ask if the sibling can join for a board game. It makes the session more fun and teaches the sibling how to interact positively.

Protect Their Space: Ensure the sibling has a "no-go zone" (like their bedroom) where they can play without the therapy session intruding.

Setting Boundaries

Dress Code: You do not need to dress up or clean your house for the therapist. They are there to work with your child, not judge your laundry pile. If you are in sweatpants, you are in sweatpants.

Off-Limits Areas: It is okay to say, "The master bedroom and the home office are off-limits." Communicate this clearly on day one.

Handling Meltdowns in Your Living Room

In a clinic, if a child has a meltdown, you usually hear about it later. At home, you hear it live. It is visceral, and your instinct as a parent is to rush in and "fix" it or stop the crying.

This is the hardest part of home based ABA therapy.

If the therapist is working through a tantrum (perhaps ignoring a behavior to stop reinforcing it), and you rush in to give the child a cookie to stop the crying, you have inadvertently sabotaged the lesson.

The Tactic: Trust the process, but verify. If the crying becomes too much for you, tap the therapist on the shoulder and say, "I need to step outside for a minute." Put on noise-canceling headphones if you need to.

Debrief Later: After the session, ask the therapist: "Walk me through what happened. What was the function of that behavior? How should I handle that if you aren't here?"

The Data Sheet: What Are They Writing?

You will notice the therapist clicking a clicker or writing on a tablet constantly. Do not be alarmed. They are taking data on specific targets—like how many times your child requested "help" or how long a tantrum lasted.

This data is your best friend. It removes the guesswork. instead of feeling like "he had a bad week," the data might show "tantrum duration decreased from 20 minutes to 12 minutes." That is progress you might miss in the fog of parenting, but the data proves it is working.

The Tellos Bottom Line

Home based ABA therapy isn't about "fixing" your child in the privacy of your living room. It’s about giving them the tools to navigate their own world with confidence.

It allows for teaching moments that a clinic simply cannot replicate—learning to tolerate the sound of the family blender, learning to sleep in their own bed, or learning to put on their own coat before going to the actual park.

It’s messy, it’s loud, and sometimes it's exhausting. But when you see your child independently ask for a snack in their own kitchen for the first time, you realize that bringing the science home was worth every second.

If you have spent more than five minutes in an autism Facebook group or searching hashtags on Instagram, you have likely felt the heat of the "Autism Wars."

It usually happens late at night. You are looking for advice on how to help your child sleep or how to stop them from biting their own hand in frustration. You stumble into a comment section, and suddenly, you are witnessing a battlefield.

On one side, you have the radical "Neurodiversity Movement," which largely advocates for acceptance above all else and often vehemently opposes ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis). They call it abusive. They call it conversion therapy.

On the other side, you have terrified parents just trying to keep their children safe. You have moms and dads who are covered in bruises, who have installed double-bolt locks on their doors, and who are desperate for a tool that works.

Caught in the crossfire is you. You are navigating a maze of autism treatment options and therapy, trying to find a path that allows you to love your child exactly as they are while also stopping them from banging their head against the floor or running into traffic. You feel paralyzed. If you choose therapy, are you betraying your child? If you don't, are you neglecting them?

Enter Eileen Lamb.

If you haven't heard of her, she is the founder of The Autism Cafe, the author of All Across the Spectrum, and perhaps one of the most polarizing—and necessary—voices in the autism community today.

Why? Because she breaks the narrative. Eileen is autistic herself. She is also the mother of a severely autistic, non-speaking son, Charlie. And she is an unapologetic supporter of ABA therapy.

For many parents drowning in "ABA guilt," her perspective isn't just a blog post; it’s a life raft. Here is why her story matters to your journey, and how it aligns with the practical, compassionate approach we believe in at Tellos.

The "Dual Perspective" That Changes Everything

The standard argument against ABA often comes from high-functioning autistic adults—sometimes referred to as "Aspies" or those with low support needs. They share stories of feeling forced to mask their traits, compelled to make eye contact, or trained to act "normal" to make others comfortable. Their trauma is real, and it is valid. We must listen to it to ensure we never repeat the mistakes of the past.

But Eileen Lamb presents a different reality. As an autistic adult, she understands the sensory struggles. She "gets" the autistic experience from the inside. She knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed by lights or to struggle with social nuance.

Yet, as a mother to Charlie—who struggles with severe aggression, Pica (eating non-food items like glass or rocks), and profound communication barriers—she knows that "acceptance" alone isn't enough to keep a child safe.

She bridges the gap between identity and safety.

Her stance validates a hard truth that many busy parents feel but are afraid to whisper for fear of being canceled online: You can respect your child's neurodivergence and still seek therapy to change dangerous behaviors.

The Reality of Profound Autism vs. Social Media Autism

Social media often shows a sanitized version of autism. It shows the quirky genius, the "Good Doctor" trope, or the child who lines up cars neatly. It rarely shows the reality of Profound Autism.

Eileen Lamb pulls back the curtain on this reality. She writes about the sleepless nights where safety is a constant concern. She writes about the fear of "elopement"—the clinical term for wandering away, which is a leading cause of death for autistic children.

She chooses ABA not because she wants to "fix" Charlie or make him look neurotypical. She chooses it because:

Safety is Non-Negotiable: If a child runs into parking lots or tries to eat dangerous objects, "acceptance" is not a strategy. It is negligence. Behavior modification is necessary for survival. ABA teaches the crucial skill of "stop" and "come here" in a way that overrides the impulse to bolt.

Communication Reduces Pain: Much of the aggression seen in severe autism comes from sheer frustration. Imagine being in pain or hungry and having absolutely no way to tell anyone. You would scream too. ABA provides the tools (like AAC devices or PECS) to give these children a voice.

Independence is Freedom: Teaching a child to dress themselves, use a toilet, or hold a spoon isn't about conformity; it's about dignity. It is about giving them future autonomy so they aren't dependent on caregivers for every basic function of life.

The Tellos Takeaway: Tactical Lessons for Parents

So, how do you apply the "Eileen Lamb approach" to your own decision-making without getting sucked into toxic internet arguments? How do you move forward with confidence?

Here is the straightforward breakdown.

1. Filter Advice by "Severity Context"

This is the most important tactic you can learn. When you read online criticism of ABA, look at the source and the context.

Is the person criticizing therapy dealing with a child who is violent towards themselves or others? Are they raising a non-speaking child who smears feces or attacks siblings? Or are they talking about "quirky" behaviors like hand-flapping or reciting movie lines?

The Tactic: If the advice doesn't account for safety or profound disability, it might not apply to your child. As Eileen advocates, you must parent the child you have, not the child the internet thinks you have. If your child is in danger, you listen to safety experts, not influencers.

2. Distinguish Between "Old ABA" and "Compassionate ABA"

Critics of ABA often cite practices from 20 or 30 years ago—things like forced eye contact, robotic drills at a table for hours, or withholding affection.

Eileen supports (and we at Tellos practice) Modern, Compassionate ABA. This is a completely different ballgame. It focuses on Assent—meaning the child participates willingly.

The Tactic: When interviewing a therapy provider, ask the hard questions to ensure they are modern:

"What do you do if my child cries?" (The answer should be: "We stop immediately, comfort them, and figure out why the task was too hard.")

"Do you stop them from stimming?" (The answer should be: "Only if it is physically hurting them. Otherwise, stimming is a valid coping mechanism.")

"Is the goal compliance or communication?" (The answer must be: "Communication. We want them to self-advocate, not just obey.")

3. Ditch the "Either/Or" Guilt

There is a false narrative that exists in the parent community: You either "Love and Accept" your child (and do no therapy), OR you "Put them in ABA" (and therefore try to change them).

Eileen’s story proves this is a lie. You can fiercely love your child, stims and all, and still work tirelessly to help them learn to navigate the world safely. You can accept their autism while rejecting their self-injury.

The Tactic: Reframe your mindset. You aren't doing therapy to them; you are doing therapy for their future self. You are building the bridge between their world and the rest of the world so they can walk across it safely.

The Bottom Line

Eileen Lamb takes heat online so that parents like you can feel a little less alone. She takes the arrows so you don't have to. She reminds us that autism is a massive spectrum, and what works for a verbal, high-functioning adult may not work for a non-verbal child with high support needs.

At Tellos, we stand with the parents who are making the hard, loving choices every day. We believe in an ABA that is ethical, play-based, and deeply respectful of your child's humanity.

If you are a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, you have likely stared at the ceiling at 3 AM wondering about the "Big Question."

What will they do when they grow up? Is there a place for them in the workforce?

For years, the narrative around autism and employment was grim. But the script is flipping. Companies like Microsoft, SAP, and massive logistics firms are actively recruiting neurodivergent talent. They aren't doing it for charity; they are doing it because autistic brains often possess skills that neurotypical brains lack.

But talent alone isn't enough. To hold a job, you need more than just "smarts"—you need the behavioral toolkit to navigate a workplace.

That is where Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) comes in. One of the long-term Benefits of ABA programs is that you aren't just paying for therapy today; you are investing in career preparation for tomorrow.

Here is the straightforward breakdown of the jobs where individuals on the spectrum thrive, and how the therapy you are doing today builds the bridge to those careers.

The "Autism Advantage": Sectors That Want Your Child

Let’s stop focusing on deficits for a moment and look at the assets. Autistic individuals often excel in areas requiring intense focus, pattern recognition, and adherence to routine.

Here are three major career lanes where these traits are superpowers:

1. The "Detail Detectives" 

The Jobs: Software Testing (QA), Data Entry, Coding, Cybersecurity, Medical Coding.

The Strength: The ability to spot a broken line of code or a data error that a neurotypical person would glaze over. While others get "snowblind" looking at spreadsheets, many autistic brains stay sharp.

How ABA Prepares Them: Remember those "matching" programs or "spot the difference" tasks your therapist does? That is the foundation of Quality Assurance. ABA builds the visual discrimination skills needed to identify errors in a complex system.

2. The "Routine Masters" 

The Jobs: Inventory Management, Library Science, Stocking, Assembly, Shipping/Receiving.

The Strength: Finding comfort in repetition and accuracy. Where a neurotypical employee might get bored sorting bolts or shelving books, many autistic individuals find rhythm, satisfaction, and flow in the process.

How ABA Prepares Them: ABA focuses heavily on task completion and following schedules. When your child learns to follow a visual schedule to brush their teeth without skipping a step, they are learning the exact executive function skill required to manage a warehouse inventory list.

3. The "Passion Experts" 

The Jobs: Animal Care, Specialized Mechanics, Art/Design, Research, Meteorology.

The Strength: The "Special Interest." If your child is obsessed with trains, dinosaurs, or drawing, that deep-dive knowledge is marketable.

How ABA Prepares Them: ABA uses the child’s interests as reinforcement. It teaches them to channel that passion into productive output rather than just passive consumption. We teach them to talk about their interest in a way that engages others, rather than overwhelming them—a key skill for a subject matter expert.

The "Hidden Curriculum": How ABA Teaches Job Survival

Getting the job is about skill. Keeping the job is about behavior.

Employers can train someone to use a cash register. They cannot easily train someone not to scream when the register jams. This is the "Soft Skills Gap," and it is exactly what ABA targets.

1. Tolerating the "Boring" 

The Reality: Every job has boring parts. If an employee quits every time a task isn't "fun," they are unemployable.

The ABA Strategy: We use the "Premack Principle" (Grandma’s Law): First do the work (less preferred), then get the reward (highly preferred).

The Result: Your child builds the stamina to push through boring tasks to get to the paycheck. We start with 2 minutes of work, building up to 2 hours.

2. Managing Sensory Overload

The Reality: Workplaces are loud. Lights buzz. Phones ring. Smells from the breakroom drift in.

The ABA Strategy: Systematic Desensitization. We don't just avoid triggers; we slowly, safely expose the child to them while teaching coping strategies (like asking for headphones instead of melting down).

The Result: An adult who can recognize their own sensory limits and self-advocate ("I need to step outside") rather than exploding.

3. Accepting Feedback 

The Reality: A boss saying, "Do it over," can feel like a catastrophe to a rigid thinker.

The ABA Strategy: We practice "correction procedures" constantly. The child learns that being corrected is neutral information, not a personal attack.

The Result: Emotional resilience. The ability to pivot when plans change without a crisis.

The Interview Hurdle: Answering the Unpredictable

Before they can do the job, they have to get the job. The interview is often the hardest part for autistic individuals because it is entirely social.

The Eye Contact Myth: ABA doesn't force painful eye contact anymore. Instead, we teach body orientation. Facing the person speaking to you shows you are listening.

The "Wh-" Questions: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" is a nightmare question for a literal thinker. ABA works on Intraverbals—the ability to answer open-ended questions and talk about things that aren't physically present in the room.

Mock Interviews: In the teen years, ABA sessions should transition into role-play. The therapist acts as the boss, asking standard questions, and helping the teen script appropriate, professional answers.

Tactical Advice: Start "Vocational Training" at Home

You don't need to wait until your child is 18 to start job training. Start now, in your kitchen.

1. Assign a "Job," Not a Chore

The Tactic: Pick a task that contributes to the house (sorting recycling, matching socks, watering plants).

The Rule: It must be done to a standard. If the socks are mismatched, send them back to fix it.

Why: This teaches "Quality Control." In the real world, effort doesn't count if the product is wrong. We need to move from "Good try!" to "Check your work."

2. Use a "Clock-In" System

The Tactic: Use a visual timer. "You are on duty for 15 minutes."

Why: This builds the concept of distinct "work time" versus "leisure time." It teaches the boundary that when you are on the clock, you cannot stop to play with the dog.

3. Teach the "Help" Script

The Tactic: Engineer situations where they cannot finish the task without help (e.g., tighten the lid too hard, or hide the recycling bin).

The Prompt: Wait for them to struggle, then prompt them to say, "Help please" or "I am stuck."

Why: The inability to ask for help is the #1 reason employees fail. They try to hide mistakes instead of fixing them.

4. The "Hygiene Uniform"

The Tactic: If your child hates buttons or stiff fabric, work with your OT and ABA team now to find "work appropriate" clothes they can tolerate.

Why: You can be the best coder in the world, but if you cannot tolerate wearing a shirt for 8 hours, or if hygiene is neglected, employment becomes very difficult. Make "getting ready for work" a specific ABA goal.

3 Questions to Ask Your BCBA This Week

Shift the conversation from "preschool skills" to "life skills."

"How are we working on independent task completion?"

Translation: Are you hovering over them? We need them to work alone for 5 minutes, then 10. A boss won't hover.

"Do we have any goals for 'tolerating interruptions'?"

Translation: Workplaces are chaotic. Can they handle being interrupted in the middle of a puzzle without aggression?

"Can we incorporate 'Vocational Sorting' into their program?"

Translation: Even for young kids, sorting bolts, coins, or silverware is excellent fine-motor and cognitive prep for future jobs.

The Bottom Line

When you look at your child, don't just see the challenges. See the potential employee. See the detail-oriented thinker. See the focused worker.

ABA is the bridge. It is the tool that takes that raw potential and refines it into independence.

Every time they finish a puzzle, every time they accept a "no," and every time they ask for a break instead of having a meltdown—they are building their resume.

It’s 2 AM. The house is finally quiet. You’re exhausted, your coffee is cold, and the blue light of your phone is the only thing illuminating the room. You type it into the search bar, just like thousands of parents before you: “autism cure found.”

Maybe you saw a clickbait headline on social media promising a miracle. Maybe a well-meaning relative sent you a link to a "miracle" detox tea or a new experimental procedure. Or maybe you just had a really hard day—a day filled with tears, silence, or aggression—and you are looking for a finish line.

We get it. You aren’t trying to change who your child is. You love them fiercely. You just want to take away the struggle. You want to bridge the silence, stop the pain, and help them navigate a world that feels overwhelmingly hostile to them.

But here is the straight talk: There is no "cure" for autism.

And in 2026, we have learned that we shouldn't be looking for one. Autism isn't a disease like the flu that needs to be flushed out. It isn’t a broken bone that needs to be set. It is a fundamental difference in how the brain processes the world—like running on a completely different operating system. An iPhone isn’t "broken" just because it can’t run Android apps; it just requires a different interface.

When parents come to us at Tellos, they are often burned out from chasing cures. They are relieved when we tell them the truth: We aren't here to fix your child. We are here to build them a Toolkit.

Our focus isn't on changing your child's personality, but on reducing challenging behaviors in children with autism by giving them better ways to cope, communicate, and thrive.

Here is the tactical breakdown of why your child needs tools, not a magic pill, and how modern ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) makes that happen.

The Heavy Cost of the "Cure" Mindset

Searching for a "cure" implies that your child, as they exist right now, is "wrong." This mindset is a heavy burden for a parent to carry, and an even heavier one for a child to feel.

If the goal is to make autism disappear, every unique trait becomes a symptom to be squashed. In the past, "old school" therapies tried to do exactly that. They focused on "extinguishing" behaviors to make kids look "indistinguishable from their peers." They forced eye contact, stopped hand-flapping (stimming), and demanded compliance.

We now know the cost of that approach. It leads to masking—the exhausting effort of hiding one's true self to please others. Masking is a direct path to anxiety, depression, and autistic burnout in adulthood.

The Toolkit Approach flips the script. It accepts that your child is autistic, and that is okay. We don't want to change the player; we want to upgrade their gear so they can win the game. We stop asking, "How do we make them normal?" and start asking, "What tools do they need to be happy and independent?"

The Tactical ABA Toolkit

At Tellos, we are obsessed with tactics—real, actionable strategies that make daily life easier. We don't do fluff. We look at what is causing friction in your home right now and give you a tool to solve it.

1. The Communication Tool 

The number one reason for aggression, screaming, biting, or crying is usually a lack of communication. Behavior is communication. When a child flips a table, they are often saying, "I am overwhelmed," or "I don't want to do this," but they lack the words to say it gracefully.

Imagine being dropped in a foreign country where you are hungry, tired, and the lights are hurting your eyes, but you cannot speak the language. You would probably scream, too.

The "Cure" Approach: Forcing a child to speak vocally before they are ready, drilling sounds like "Say ball... say ball," which leads to immense frustration and prompt dependency.

The Tellos Way: We use Functional Communication Training (FCT). We don’t care how they say it, only that they can.

We identify the "function" of the behavior. If your child hits you to get access to a toy, the function is "access."

We teach a replacement behavior. We teach them to hand you a picture card, use a simple sign, or press a button on a speech-generating app (AAC).

The Tactical Win: The hitting stops. Not because we punished it, but because the new tool (the card) works faster and easier than the old behavior (hitting). We gave them a voice, and the need for aggression vanished.

2. The Regulation Tool 

Autistic kids often experience the world at volume 10. The fluorescent lights at the grocery store hum like chainsaws. The tag on their shirt feels like sandpaper. The smell of perfume is nauseating. When the sensory system overloads, a meltdown occurs. This is not a tantrum; it is a physiological "fight or flight" response.

The "Cure" Approach: Trying to suppress the meltdown once it starts, or forcing the child to "tough it out" to build resilience. This usually just causes trauma.

The Tellos Way: We work backward. We teach Interoception—the ability to feel what’s happening inside the body.

We help the child recognize the "Rumble Stage"—the moments before the explosion. “My heart is racing. My hands are tight. My tummy feels funny.”

We build a Coping Toolbox: noise-canceling headphones, deep pressure squeezes, a quiet corner, or a "fidget" toy.

The Tactical Win: A child who can eventually say (or signal), "It's too loud here, I need a break," instead of dropping to the floor screaming. You move from crisis management to crisis prevention.

3. The Independence Tool 

If you are up at 2 AM, you are worrying about the future. “Who will take care of them when I’m gone? Will they ever have a job? Will they be okay?”

The "Cure" Approach: Parents often end up doing everything for the child—dressing them, feeding them, packing their bags—to save time and avoid conflict.

The Tellos Way: We use Task Analysis. We break big, scary, complex tasks into tiny, manageable steps.

Take "Getting Dressed." It isn't one step; it's twenty. You have to find the shirt, orient the tag, put the head through, push the arms through, and pull it down.

We teach one step at a time (a process called "chaining"). We use visual schedules—pictures on the wall—so they don't rely on your voice nagging them.

The Tactical Win: Your mornings become peaceful because your child can follow their visual routine without you hovering. Independence gives them dignity and gives you peace of mind.

4. The Social Tool 

We want your child to have friends. We want them to feel connected. But there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

The "Cure" Approach: Teaching kids to memorize scripts, force eye contact, or "fake" social interactions to please neurotypical adults.

The Tellos Way: We teach Social Navigation.

We teach them how to read the "map" of social situations: understanding boundaries, recognizing when someone is joking versus being mean, and knowing how to stay safe.

We focus on Shared Interests. The best friendships are formed over shared passions—LEGOs, Minecraft, trains, or drawing.

The Tactical Win: A child who can connect with others authentically, without losing themselves or feeling like they have to "perform" to be loved.

The Secret Weapon: Assent-Based Practice

The biggest difference between the "cure" mindset and the modern, compassionate ABA mindset is Assent.

You cannot build a toolkit if the child is fighting the construction. In modern ABA, therapy is something done with the child, not to them.

We constantly check for their "assent"—their willingness to engage. This doesn't just mean them saying "yes." It means watching their body language. If they are withdrawing, crying, or showing signs of stress, we stop. We reassess. We change the environment. We make it fun again.

Why does this matter? Because it teaches your child that their "no" matters. It teaches them boundaries. It builds a human being who has agency over their own body and life.

Stop Searching, Start Building

So, close the browser tab. Put down the phone. You don’t need to find a "cure" to find peace.

The "miracle" isn't in a pill or a detox. It's in the small, tactical victories.

It's in the moment your child hands you a "Help" card instead of screaming.

It's in the moment they put on their own headphones instead of melting down.

It's in the quiet, confident knowledge that you have the tools to handle whatever comes next.

Your child is ready to thrive. They just need the right toolkit, and you need the right partners to help you build it.

Let’s build that toolkit together.

If you’re the parent of a child with autism in the Lone Star State, you’ve probably heard the term Texas BCBA more times than you can count. But between school meetings, insurance calls, and the general whirlwind of parenting, you might still be wondering: What exactly do they do, and why do I need one?

At Tellos, we believe that when parents have clarity, their kids have progress. In your search for behavioral support for autistic children, it is essential to understand the clinical expert leading your team. A Texas BCBA is the architect of your child's care, ensuring that individualized ABA programs explained during your first meeting are actually executed with clinical precision every day.

Here is the straightforward, human breakdown of what a Texas BCBA is, why their specific Texas credentials protect your family, and how they help your child thrive.

What is a BCBA? 

A Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) is a graduate-level healthcare professional who specializes in the science of behavior.

In the world of autism treatment options and therapy, think of them as the Architect. While a technician (RBT) might be the one working one-on-one with your child daily, the BCBA is the one who holds the high-level vision.

The BCBA's core responsibilities include:

Conducting Assessments: They don't just look at behavior; they perform a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) to understand why it’s happening.

Designing the Plan: They create the "blueprint" of goals tailored specifically to your child's unique strengths and needs.

Supervising the Team: They ensure the therapy is being implemented correctly and safely by the front-line therapists.

Analyzing Data: They look at the numbers every week to prove that what we’re doing is actually working and adjust the plan if it's not.

The Texas Difference: BCBA vs. LBA

In Texas, we have an extra layer of protection for our families. To practice legally in our state, a professional doesn't just need a national certification (BCBA); they must also be a Licensed Behavior Analyst (LBA) through the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation (TDLR).

Why this matters for you:

A Texas BCBA/LBA has passed a rigorous national board exam and a state-level background check. This ensures that the person entering your home or clinic is not only highly trained but has also been vetted by Texas law.

Pro-Tip: Always ask your provider, "Are you currently licensed as an LBA in the state of Texas?"

What Does a Texas BCBA Actually Do Every Day?

Your BCBA’s job is to make themselves obsolete. They want to teach your child enough skills so they eventually don’t need a therapist anymore. Here is how they spend their time:

1. Functional Behavior Assessments (FBA)

Before therapy starts, they perform an FBA. This is a deep dive into your child’s world to understand what triggers meltdowns and what motivates learning.

2. Individualized Treatment Planning

They create individualized ABA programs focused on "Functional Skills"—things your child needs for real life, like:

Asking for a snack instead of screaming.

Learning to use the bathroom independently.

Playing with siblings without getting overwhelmed.

3. Parent Training 

The most successful therapy happens when parents are involved. A Texas BCBA will sit with you to teach you the same strategies they use. They turn "therapy time" into "life time," empowering you to manage challenges with confidence.

Tactical Guide: Checking Credentials in 60 Seconds

You are the CEO of your child’s care. You have the right to verify your team. Here are the two links every Texas parent should have bookmarked:

Check National Status: Use the BACB Certificant Registry to see if their certification is active.

Check Texas License: Use the TDLR License Search to ensure they are a Licensed Behavior Analyst (LBA) in good standing.

The Bottom Line

A Texas BCBA is more than just a therapist; they are your partner in navigating the path to your child’s independence. They provide the science, the structure, and the safety net so you can focus on being a parent.

If you are a parent of an autistic child, you are already a project manager, a nurse, a lawyer, and an advocate. You don’t need more confusion. Yet, the moment you begin searching for comprehensive autism therapy resources, you are hit with a barrage of acronyms that feel like a foreign language.

Two of the biggest giants in the room are ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) and TEACCH.

If you spend five minutes on a parenting forum or a Facebook support group, you might think these two methods are at war.

“ABA is too rigid! It tries to turn kids into robots!”

“TEACCH is too passive! It gives up on teaching them anything!”

“You have to pick a team! Are you TEACCH or ABA?”

At Tellos, we believe you shouldn't have to pick a "side" in a war you didn't ask to join. You don't need dogma; you need tools that work. Here is the straightforward, deep-dive breakdown of what the TEACCH method is, how it differs from ABA, and why the "secret sauce" for your child might actually be using them together.

The Origin Story: What is TEACCH?

First, let's decode the alphabet soup. TEACCH stands for Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication-handicapped Children.

It was developed at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in the 1960s by Dr. Eric Schopler. It was born from a philosophy that was radical for its time. Back then, many professionals blamed parents for autism (the "refrigerator mother" theory). TEACCH flipped the script.

Instead of viewing autism as a tragedy to be fixed, the founders viewed it as a "Culture of Autism."

This is a beautiful, pivotal concept. They argued that autistic people aren't "broken neurotypicals." They are people with a distinct way of processing the world. They realized that autistic brains often thrive on:

Visual information (pictures over words).

Predictability (routines over surprises).

Details and order (patterns over chaos).

So, they asked a simple, revolutionary question: “What happens if we organize the room to match the autistic brain, rather than forcing the brain to match the room?”

The Core Difference: The "World" vs. The "Child"

To understand why people compare TEACCH and ABA, you have to look at their goals. They are trying to solve the same problem (helping your child become independent), but they come at it from opposite directions.

1. TEACCH: Adapts the Environment

TEACCH changes the world around the child.

The Logic: "My child is anxious because the world is chaotic, loud, and unpredictable. If I make the environment structured and predictable, his cortisol levels will drop, his anxiety will fade, and he will finally be calm enough to function."

The Strategy: Structured Teaching. We use physical boundaries, schedules, and visual cues to create a "safe harbor" of clarity.

2. ABA: Adapts the Child

ABA changes the child's skills.

The Logic: "The world won't always be structured. The grocery store doesn't have a visual schedule. I need to teach my child the flexible skills to communicate, adapt, and learn so they can handle the chaos of real life."

The Strategy: Skill Acquisition. We use reinforcement, data, and repetition to build new behaviors and reduce challenging ones.

What Does TEACCH Look Like in Real Life?

If you walk into a TEACCH classroom, it feels noticeably different from a standard special education room. It is calm. It is quiet. It is organized. It almost feels like a library. Here are the hallmark features:

Physical Structure: The room is divided clearly to reduce confusion. The "Play Area" is marked by a specific rug. The "Work Area" is a desk facing a blank wall (not a window) to reduce visual distractions. Tape on the floor shows exactly where to line up. The environment tells the child what to do.

Visual Schedules: Every child has a customized schedule (using real objects, photos, or words) that tells them the exact sequence of their day. First Math -> Then Snack -> Then Gym. This eliminates the terrifying question of "What comes next?"

The Work System: This is the most famous TEACCH tool. It answers four questions for the child so they don't have to rely on an adult hovering over them:

What work do I do? (The task is in the basket).

How much is there? (I can see three tasks).

When am I finished? (When the basket is empty).

What happens next? (I get a reward).

The Conflict: Why the Drama?

If both methods help kids, why is there conflict?

Critics of TEACCH sometimes argue that it is too accommodating. They worry that if we make the world perfect for the child—labeling every drawer, scheduling every minute—we are creating a "bubble." They fear the child will fall apart the moment they step into the real world, which is messy and loud. They call it a "prosthetic environment."

Critics of ABA sometimes argue that it is too demanding. They worry that by constantly placing demands on the child ("Do this," "Say that," "Look at me"), we are stressing them out and ignoring their neurology. They argue that forcing an autistic child to act "neurotypical" is exhausting and damaging to their self-esteem.

The Tellos Truth:

They are not enemies. They are partners.

Think of TEACCH as the foundation and ABA as the house.

You cannot build a house (teach complex new skills like talking or reading) if the foundation is shaking (the child is anxious, confused, and running around the room).

TEACCH provides the calm structure (the foundation). ABA provides the teaching technology (the house).

Tactical Guide: How to Blend Them at Home

You don't have to be a certified therapist to use these tools. In fact, using TEACCH strategies at home is often the key to lowering family stress. Here is how you can use TEACCH principles to supercharge your ABA goals at home.

1. The "First/Then" Board

This is the ultimate crossover tool found in almost every autism household.

The Goal: Getting your child to do something they don't want to do (an ABA motivation goal).

The Method: Show them a simple visual board. Place a picture of the hard task on the "First" side (e.g., "Put on Shoes") and a picture of the reward on the "Then" side (e.g., "Park").

Why it works: It uses TEACCH visuals to make the expectation concrete ("I see when I will be done") and ABA reinforcement ("Premack Principle") to motivate them. It removes the power struggle.

2. The "Left-to-Right" System

The Struggle: Your child refuses to do homework, coloring, or table-top tasks. They throw the pencil after 30 seconds.

The TEACCH Fix: Clear the table. Visual clutter is the enemy. Put the work to be done in a basket on the Left. Put a "Finished" basket on the Right.

The Result: As your child works, they physically move items from left to right. They can see the work disappearing. This lowers anxiety and "escape behaviors" because the finish line is visible. They don't have to guess how long this will last.

3. Define the Space

The Struggle: Your child runs around during therapy time or won't settle down for dinner.

The TEACCH Fix: Use furniture to create a boundary. Turn a bookshelf sideways to block a view of the TV. Use a specific placemat for eating. Teach the rule: "When we are on the blue rug, we are playing. When we are at the desk, we are working."

The Result: The physical environment triggers the correct behavior (an ABA antecedent strategy). The room does the heavy lifting for you.

The Bottom Line

When you look at the TEACCH method, don't see it as a rival to ABA. See it as a volume knob.

For an autistic child, the world is often blaring at volume 10. It is unpredictable, chaotic, and overwhelming.

TEACCH turns the volume down to a 4. It quiets the noise. It organizes the chaos.

Once the volume is down, your child can finally hear you. They can finally learn. That is when ABA steps in to teach them the skills they need to turn the volume down themselves.

It’s 2:00 AM. The house is finally quiet. You’re exhausted, bone-tired in a way that sleep doesn't seem to fix. You have spent hours scrolling through endless pages of autism treatment options and therapy, reading conflicting advice, terrifying statistics, and clinical jargon. But now, in the dark, you open Google and type the words that feel too heavy to say out loud to your friends or your pediatrician: “Autism healer.”

If you are reading this, we see you. We aren't here to judge that search.

We know the desperation that drives it. You aren't looking for a healer because you don't love your child. You are looking because you want their struggle to end. You want the head-banging to stop. You want to hear their voice say "I love you." You want to know, with absolute certainty, that they will be okay when you are no longer here to protect them.

In the world of autism, there is a massive, multi-million dollar industry built on the promise of "healing." There are supplements, heavy metal detoxes, energy workers, gut-health gurus, and stem cell clinics abroad that promise to "recover" your child.

And then, there is ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis).

ABA is often pitched as the medical solution, the "gold standard." But here is the hard truth that Tellos wants you to know, even if it’s hard to hear: ABA is not a cure. And an ABA therapist is not a healer.

If a provider tells you otherwise—if they promise to "fix" your child—run.

Here is a straightforward, honest, and deeply human look at the difference between the "healer" mindset and the reality of ethical therapy, and why shifting your perspective might be the most healing thing you can do for your family.

The Trap of the "Healer" Mindset

The word "healer" is seductive. It implies that the current situation is temporary. But it also implies something darker: it suggests that something is broken.

The "healer" mindset suggests that your child is sick, damaged, or incomplete, and that with the right touch, the right pill, or the right therapy hours, they can be restored to a "normal" version of themselves. It treats autism like a virus that has invaded your child’s body, and the goal is to extract it.

This mindset is dangerous for three specific reasons:

It sets you up for heartbreak. Autism is a neurotype, not a disease. It is how your child’s brain is wired. You cannot "heal" wiring; you can only learn to navigate it. If you wake up every day looking for the autism to be gone, you will miss the beautiful, unique child who is right in front of you.

It makes you vulnerable to predators. There are plenty of people willing to sell false hope to scared parents. They know you would pay anything to make your child’s life easier.

It damages the child's self-worth. Imagine growing up sensing that your parents are constantly trying to "fix" you. It sends a message: “You are not enough as you are.” We want our children to feel loved, not like a renovation project.

The "Builder" Mindset: What Good ABA Actually Does

If an ABA therapist isn't a healer, what are they?

They are Builders.

Ethical, modern ABA isn't about fixing your child. It’s about giving them a toolbox. It is the slow, steady, unglamorous work of laying bricks.

A Healer says: "I will make your child normal."

A Builder says: "I will teach your child how to ask for what they need so they don't have to scream to get it."

A Healer says: "We will stop the hand-flapping so they fit in."

A Builder says: "We will build coping skills so they can handle the sensory overload of a loud grocery store without pain."

A Healer says: "Trust my magic method."

A Builder says: "Let's look at the data. This brick isn't holding; let's try a different mortar."

When you shift from looking for a cure to looking for competence, the pressure lifts. You stop waiting for a miracle and start celebrating the inch-by-inch progress of learning new skills. You realize that a good life doesn't mean a "non-autistic" life—it means an independent life.

The Grief Cycle 

Let’s be real for a second. Accepting the "Builder" mindset requires something painful: Grief.

You have to grieve the "normal" life you thought you were going to have. You have to grieve the easy milestones, the soccer games, the effortless conversations. That grief is real, and it is valid.

The "Healer" industry preys on your denial. They tell you that you don't have to grieve because they can fix it.

The "Builder" (Ethical ABA) sits with you in the grief and says, "I know this is not the house you planned to build. But we are going to build a different house, and it is going to be strong, and safe, and full of love."

Tactical Guide: Spotting the Fakes

Because you are searching for answers, you are going to encounter providers who blur the lines. You will meet BCBAs (Board Certified Behavior Analysts) who over-promise. Use this checklist to protect your child (and your wallet).

The Red Flags 

These are immediate disqualifiers.

The "Recovery" Promise: Anyone who uses words like "cure," "recover," or "reverse" autism is selling snake oil. Ethical ABA providers are strictly forbidden by their code of ethics from guaranteeing results.

The "Detox" Language: If a therapist talks about removing "toxins," "heavy metals," or "parasites" as a prerequisite to behavior change, they are operating outside of behavioral science.

The "Secret Sauce": If they say, "I have a special method that no one else knows," be skeptical. Science is shared. Effective ABA is transparent.

Ignoring the Child's "No": A healer mindset often justifies force ("It's for their own good"). If a therapist forces a screaming child to work, claiming they are "pushing out the autism," fire them.

The Green Flags 

This is what a partner in your child's growth looks like.

They focus on Function: They don't care if your child looks autistic (e.g., avoids eye contact). They care if your child can function (e.g., can communicate pain, hunger, or joy).

They prioritize Happiness: They ask, "Is your child happy?" before they ask, "Is your child complying?"

They admit limits: A good ABA therapist will say, "I don't know the answer to that medical question; let's ask your pediatrician." They stay in their lane.

They empower YOU: They don't want to be the guru. They want to train you to be the expert on your child.

The Only "Healing" That Matters

So, is there no healing in autism?

Actually, there is. But it doesn't look like a magic wand. It doesn't happen in a clinic in Switzerland or through a specialized diet.

Real healing happens when the communication gap closes.

It happens the first time your child uses a tablet (AAC device) to press a button that says "I love you" or "I want apple."

It happens when you learn to read their sensory signals and prevent a meltdown before it starts, creating a home that feels safe for them.

It happens when you stop fighting against the autism and start working with your child.

The Bottom Line

Your child does not need to be fixed. They are not a broken puzzle with missing pieces. They are a whole human being who is trying to survive in a world that wasn't built for them.

Don't look for a healer who promises to take the autism away. Look for a Builder who promises to help your child construct a life filled with independence, safety, and joy.

At Tellos, we know that the "Builder" path is harder. It takes longer. It involves sweat, repetition, and patience. It’s messy. But unlike the empty promises of a "cure," the skills your child builds in ethical therapy are theirs to keep forever.

When you start ABA therapy, you aren't just hiring a therapist; you are entering a professional partnership. To ensure that partnership is safe, respectful, and effective, every Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) is bound by the BACB (Behavior Analyst Certification Board) Ethics Code. At Tellos, we believe that parent training in applied behavior analysis must include a clear understanding of these ethical standards so you can effectively advocate for your child.

We don’t see this code as red tape. We see it as a tactical manual for protecting your child’s dignity and your family’s trust. You don’t need to memorize the handbook, but you should know how these rules work for you in the real world.

The Tactical Breakdown: 3 Ethics Rules Every Parent Should Know

The ethics code is extensive, but for a busy parent, these three pillars are the most critical for day-to-day life:

1. Benefit Others and Do No Harm

This is the core of the code. It means that every goal we set must be designed to improve your child's life, not just make them "compliant."

The Move: We prioritize safety and communication. If a goal doesn't help your child become more independent or safer, it doesn’t belong in the plan.

The Win: Your child isn't being "trained"; they are being empowered to navigate the world on their own terms.

2. Respecting Autonomy and Assent

A major shift in modern ABA ethics is the focus on assent. Even if a child is non-verbal, they can "say" no through their body language.

The Move: If your child shows signs of distress, turns away, or withdraws, the ethical clinician stops and reassesses the motivation.

The Win: This prevents "burnout" and teaches your child that they have a voice that adults respect.

3. Maintaining Professional Boundaries 

This one often surprises parents. Your therapist cannot be your close personal friend, babysitter, or dinner guest.

The Move: Clinicians must maintain a professional distance. They cannot accept gifts, attend private parties, or accept social media friend requests.

The Win: This keeps the data objective. When boundaries are clear, the focus stays 100% on your child’s progress, not on personal favors or social dynamics.

How to Spot Ethical ABA in Practice

You don’t need to be a clinician to know if the code is being followed. Watch for these tactical signs during your child's session:

Transparency: You should always have access to your child's data and be able to ask "Why are we doing this?" at any time.

Dignity: The therapist should speak to and about your child with respect, never discussing their "behaviors" in front of them as if they aren't there.

Individualization: If your child’s program looks identical to every other kid in the clinic, that’s an ethical red flag. The code requires individualized ABA programs.

The Tellos Difference: Ethics as a Foundation

At Tellos, we lead with empathy and drive with data.

No Waitlists: We believe it is ethically responsible to provide care when it is needed most, during those critical early development windows.

Empowered Clinicians: Our staff are owners of their craft. They are trained not just to follow the code, but to understand the "why" behind it.

Functional Focus: We don't bill for hours just to bill. We focus on the goals that move the needle for your family’s daily life.

3 Steps to Start Today

Ask for the Plan: Ask your BCBA to show you your child’s current goals. If a goal doesn't make sense for your child’s independence, ask them to explain the "benefit" according to the ethics code.

Observe the Joy: Look at your child during therapy. Are they engaged? Are they given choices? Choice is a fundamental ethical right.

Contact Tellos: Ready for a team that treats your child’s dignity as a priority, not an afterthought? Reach out for a consultation. We’ll show you how we turn ethical standards into real-world success.

As a parent navigating the world of autism, you're constantly seeking tools to help your child thrive. You’ve probably heard stories or even wondered yourself: can dogs help autism? At Tellos, we often get asked if a furry companion is a "distraction" or a "tool."

Our answer? When paired with the right strategy, a dog is one of the most effective forms of therapy for increasing functional skills in autism. We know you don’t have time for long-winded theories; you need to know how to turn a wagging tail into a functional win. Here is how the loyalty of a dog, combined with the science of ABA, can accelerate real-world progress.

The "Bridge" Effect: Why Dogs Work

For many children on the spectrum, humans can be unpredictable. We use complex facial expressions, sarcasm, and changing tones. Dogs, however, are the ultimate "straight shooters." They are consistent, non-judgmental, and provide clear sensory feedback.

In ABA terms, a dog acts as a natural reinforcer. Your child isn't just "talking"; they are giving a command to see a dog sit. They aren't just "walking"; they are practicing coordination to keep up with their buddy. This direct cause-and-effect relationship is incredibly powerful for learning.

3 Tactical Ways Dogs Enhance ABA Therapy

You don't need a certified service animal to start seeing these benefits at home. Here is how we use the presence of a dog to hit clinical goals:

Boosting Functional Communication 

The Strategy: Instead of practicing "I want" with flashcards, have your child use their voice (or AAC device) to tell the dog to "Sit," "Stay," or "Fetch."

The Win: The dog’s immediate reaction provides "instant data." If they use their voice clearly, the dog moves. This teaches them that their communication has real power.

Supporting Sensory Regulation 

The Strategy: During moments of high anxiety, a calm dog can provide "Deep Pressure Therapy" by leaning against the child or lying across their lap.

The Win: This tactile grounding calms the nervous system faster than many verbal techniques. It turns a potential "mountain" of a meltdown into a "molehill" of a recovery.

Acting as a Social Catalyst 

The Strategy: Take the dog for a walk. The dog naturally attracts attention and becomes a neutral topic for other children to approach.

The Win: The dog acts as a social buffer. It gives your child a "script" to follow ("His name is Max!") and makes initiating a conversation feel 50% less intimidating.

The Tellos Take: Results, Not Just Fluff

At Tellos, we lead with empathy, but we drive with data. While we cherish the emotional bond, we equally value the functional independence it builds.

Individualized Support: We look at your child's "hooks"—what genuinely motivates them—and build a personalized plan. For some, it might be a dog; for others, it's a specific activity.

Clinicians as Partners: Our therapists help you integrate your pet into home-based sessions so that the learning continues long after we leave.

3 Steps to Start Today

Observe the "Hook": Does your child seek out the dog for comfort or watch from a distance? Use that preference to guide your next teaching moment.

Assign a "Job": Give your child a small, 10-second responsibility, like putting the water bowl down. This builds the "responsibility muscle."

Contact Tellos: Ready to move past the "wait and see" approach? Reach out for a consultation. We’ll help you turn your child’s natural interests into a tactical plan for success.

As a parent, your "free time" is usually spent researching how to best support your child. Recently, you may have come across the startling headline suggesting an autism rate of 1 in 2 by 2025. At Tellos, we know how heavy these statistics can feel. Our mission is to cut through the alarmism and provide you with Comprehensive autism therapy resources and the tactical facts you need to help your child thrive.

Understanding the 1 in 2 Prediction

The "1 in 2" figure stems from projections made by some researchers regarding the trajectory of autism diagnoses. While the current CDC data (as of early 2026) places the rate at 1 in 31 children, the trend is undeniably upward.

Why are the numbers shifting?

Better Detection: We are no longer missing the "quiet" kids. What used to be dismissed as a "personality quirk" is now recognized as a need for support.

Wider Diagnostic Criteria: The spectrum is now accurately seen as a broad range, ensuring more children qualify for the services they need.

Proactive Parents: You are more informed and more vocal about your child’s needs than any generation before you.

The Tellos Take: Whether the rate is 1 in 31 or 1 in 2, the mission remains the same: providing high-quality, actionable support. A statistic is just a number; your child’s progress is what matters.

Why ABA is the Tactical Solution for the Spectrum

With more children being identified, the need for effective, evidence-based treatment is higher than ever. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) remains the gold standard because it focuses on measurable outcomes and functional skills.

At Tellos, we don't do "cookie-cutter" therapy. We use individualized plans to help your child master the world around them.

How ABA delivers real-world results:

Communication is Safety: We prioritize functional communication. If a child can express a need, the "challenging behavior" often disappears. This reduces stress for the whole family.

The "Mountain" to "Molehill" Approach: To a busy parent, "teaching my child to get dressed" feels like a mountain. We use task analysis to break that goal into tiny, 10-second steps.

Real-World Integration: We don't just work at a table. We practice skills where they happen—at the dinner table, the grocery store, and the playground.

Data Over Guesswork: We track progress every single day. If your child isn't hitting a milestone, we don't wait; we adjust our strategy immediately.

The Tellos Approach: Built for Busy Families

We know you don't have time for fluff, long-winded reports, or "wait and see" mentalities. You need a partner who values your time as much as you do.

Clarity: We skip the medical jargon. We tell you what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and how it helps.

Compassion: We see the child, not the diagnosis. Every session is designed to be engaging, positive, and human.

Action: We empower you with straightforward tactics you can use at home to reinforce what your child learns in therapy.

If you are navigating the early years of an autism diagnosis, you’ve likely heard about the "Gold Standard" of early intervention: the Early Start Denver Model (ESDM). But between the scientific papers and the clinical evaluations, it’s hard to find a straight answer on what it actually does for your child. At Tellos, we know that high-impact support shouldn't feel like a mystery. Our mission is to provide behavioral support for autistic children that prioritizes the human connection over clinical checkboxes, ensuring your child thrives in their most natural environment.

What ESDM Places a Large Emphasis On 

If you’re looking for the core of ESDM, it boils down to one word: Relationship.

Unlike traditional methods that might focus strictly on "compliance" or sitting still at a desk, the Early Start Denver Model places a large emphasis on:

Social-Emotional Engagement: We don't just want your child to follow an instruction; we want them to want to interact with you.

Joint Attention: This is the "look at this!" moment. ESDM focuses on helping children share interests and experiences with others.

Naturalistic Play: Every "lesson" happens while playing on the floor, blowing bubbles, or building with blocks.

Positive Affect: This is clinical-speak for "having fun." If the child and the therapist aren't smiling and engaged, the learning hasn't started yet.

Why the "Relationship First" Approach Wins

Traditional ABA is excellent for building a foundation. However, ESDM is how we ensure that foundation is built on a desire to connect.

The Benefits for Parents:

It Feels Like Home: You don't have to turn your living room into a sterile clinic. ESDM is designed to look like a high-quality playdate.

Faster Generalization: Because skills are learned through social play, children are more likely to use those skills with siblings and peers at the park.

Reduced Frustration: By following the child's lead and keeping the energy high and positive, we reduce the "work" feel of therapy.

The Tellos Tactical Checklist: How ESDM Works in Practice

At Tellos, we take the science of ESDM and make it work for your busy life. Here is what an ESDM-informed session looks like:

Face-to-Face Play: The therapist is on the floor, positioned so your child can easily see their face and expressions.

Follow the Lead: If your child reaches for the red car, we play with the red car. We use their natural motivation to teach concepts like "fast," "stop," or "my turn."

The "Social Loop": We look for back-and-forth interactions. It’s not just about the toy; it’s about the "shared joy" of playing with the toy together.

The Tellos Difference: Real World, Not Just Data

At Tellos, we don't just "bill hours." We focus on the milestones that make your daily routine smoother. We lead with empathy because we know your day is already a juggle of school meetings and life’s demands. Our job is to give you the tactical tools to make the "everyday" extraordinary for your child, without sacrificing your home’s peace.

3 Steps to Start Today

Audit the Fun: Spend 5 minutes today just playing on the floor with your child. Don't give instructions. Just follow their lead and try to catch their eye with a smile.

Practice "Joint Attention": Point to something interesting outside (like a bird or a plane) and see if your child looks. If they don't, bring the item closer to their eye level.

Contact Tellos: Ready for a team that prioritizes social connection and real-world results over clinical jargon? Reach out for a straightforward consultation.