r. santos​:
Mei had disappeared in a real way, and after the complications in their friendship grew, Rafe found he could not longer express what was on his mind in a way he once had — he wasn’t the type of guy who really enjoyed talking about his feelings, hell, if he’d learned anything from being married to Natalie, he’d not even realized when things in his childhood or adolescence were fucked up until he’d mentioned them in a much-too-casual way. But he’d kept his shit together, kept the rink running and everyone mostly happy. Had he complicated his life more? Absolutely. But like a cockroach, Rafe always seemed to survive the situations he found himself in, even the very messy ones he created for himself.Â
“Great.” Rafe didn’t care much for Mei’s father, he’d always been an antagonist in his life, but he cared enough to ask, because it was still her dad. “Fine. Well — whatever. Everything’s fine.” Rafe bit his tongue, mostly because, as it was currently clear to him, Mei probably didn’t know that anything had gone on, didn’t know what he was doing with Liv whatsoever. They’d left off at the ending of his third marriage, and Rafe really hadn’t much nerve to bring that up to Mei in any meaningful way. “Yeah, well, what did you expect? I’m not as useless as everyone makes me out to be.”
Everything was fine - the place was still standing, Rafe was in one piece, even if he did look more tired and worn down than usual. But then it wasn’t like she could blame him, Mei had left him in the lurch, doing the job of two people with one set of hands. It would hardly be a surprise if he was tired. “Great” she echoed, with a slow nod, hands sinking down into her pockets as she stood uncomfortably in place. The rink had once been a great comfort to her, but now all she could feel was chilly distance between them. And of course, Mei knew why, understood why. She should have had more nerve in Beijing, should have stopped them both from falling down this path. If she’d had more strength then perhaps they wouldn’t be in this position, looking at Rafe with the distinct feeling that they would never be able to get back to the place they were in before.
“I never thought you were useless”. That much was true. He had been wild and out of control, like a candle burning far too brightly for his own good - but never useless. He’d annoyed the living daylights out of her, hurt her in ways neither of them could really verbalise, been a constant source of pressure in her marriage...and yet if there was a weakness in their partnership it was surely her. After all, it had been Mei who had stood by him for years, Mei who covered his back and gave him every excuse in the world, Mei who had allowed him to speak to James like he was dirt under both of their shoes. Yes the more and more she thought about, the more she realised that this was always going to happen. The distance between them was a natural consequence of her failures. “I didn’t realise you’d be here” she started, trying to explain her own reasoning for being back in the rink. “I - I left something in the office before I went away...” again she trailed off, gesturing vaguely towards the back room where they’d spent hours planning and discussing training techniques. “But I can - I can sort it out another day...I didn’t mean to disturb you”














