I Settle for A Ghost

first, you have no idea you are sick at all, you are just a Normal Neurotypical going through life when suddenly you are sent to a therapist (because mentally ill people cannot have anyway of knowing they are ill)

you tell the therapist no! i am normal! not crazy at all! but the therapist knows better…

you are sent to a clinic or hospital where you speak to seven different psychiatrists, talk about your whole life in detail, have brain scans and are under constant monitoring with wires hooked up to you

doctors are pooring over texbooks and consulting other doctors and doing everything they can to find The Perfect Diagnosis

now, at last, your doctor returns. he tells you have a mental disorder. you cry a lot because now your life is ruined. the doctors tells you everything Will Be Okay. 

You are given a bottle of pills that will make everything better and of course you ALWAYS remember to take them. You are given therapy appointments three times a week with a doctor you trust who believes in you and your experiences and again you ALWAYS remember to go and never miss

Because of your special professional diagnosis, you are cured and are now functional in society and will never be bothered by your mental health again!

How I actually got all of my professional diagnoses:

“Hey doctor, I’m depressed” “Fill out this checklist” … “You have major depressive disorder”

“Oh by the way, are you ever anxious?” “Yeah” “You have generalized anxiety”

“Doctor, I hear voices” “Sounds like psychosis to me”

“Now my voices are controlling my body” (repeat this times 10 to a hundred different doctors who never believed me) “Oh thats dissociative identity disorder”

How I got my self diagnoses

Days/weeks/months/YEARS of research

Scholarly articles and peer reviewed scientific journals

Talking one on one with people who are diagnossed with it

Soul searching and trying to understand myself

Fighting myself on if I’m right

Cross examining the symptoms with other disorders I have