megalomaniacal.

expect that inactivity to heighten because the more i talk and be open the more followers i lose. i don't really get it, but all i can gather from it is that people. don't care for me or what i have to say. when i speak they like me less. there's also the fact that i don't feel welcome in general. and people blame me for stuff.

basically i'm already stressed enough as it is and this blog is making it worse. or, more so not the blog itself. i love my felix to death. but i think. more so the people around me and the community are making it worse. other felixs and/or people i really do not like. or even, other felixs i really don't like. but. yeah.

❝ Food, obviously. ❞ Oh, shit. Ryan said that out loud, didn’t he? He paused after that realization, his helmet turning ever so slightly towards Felix. And after a moment, he’s fucking laughing. Yeah, he’s still working on filtering out remarks before they have a chance to slip out. 

❝ I’m sorry, ❞ That doesn’t work when he’s still chuckling, does it? It’s hardly been a couple of minutes and Ryan’s already got a feeling he’s pushed his luck too far for the day. ❝ Just parts. See what’s usable on it still, and what’s trashed beyond repair. ❞

Wow. Okay. Felix is squinting behind that visor of his, and he wishes so hard that Ryan could see it. And he actually stands when he starts laughing, like he’s trying to intimidate the other, or like he’s gonna go over and bop him on the head, or. Something. But he doesn’t move, since Ryan continues. Apologizes. ... If you can even call it an apology.

“Axel is actually my middle name.”

Sure that didn’t exactly have a big meaning behind it. Nicknames weren’t something he had the pleasure of having. Though the other mercs did like to joke around and call him ‘Triple A’. Why? He would never truly understand. As he was lost in thought he stumbled upon something and stared at it. “Felix. What is this? Are these weapons or something?”

“Yeah, I don’t care.” Then why’d you ask.

{ i just don't like seeing people's faces, yeah. but it's more so. people i don't know? and then in some cases, people i don't particularly like so there's that too.

what makes it worse though is that i have the word "selfie" blacklisted. so. but no one does that. even if they did, 90% of the time i'm on mobile. so the obvious solution is putting selfies under a read more. which is. simple. easy. but there's a total of 2 people i follow that actually do that.

{ why you gotta be so rude. }

Tie me, Bite me: Name a kink.

"Yes." Well. What did you expect.

That's Naughty: Name something you would want to try in bed, but won't.

"... I mean. I don't think there's much I haven't tried? Doesn't mean I liked it all. But.

Self Torture: What do you like to masturbate to?

"Porn. Y'know. Like most people." Wow. "... When I do at least. Last thing I've masturbated to was that video of me an O'Malley, to be honest. Whoops." Amazing.

Wine and Dine: Is it important to have a nice prelude before having relations?

"Uh... Yes? Maybe? No. It's not important if you're just gonna fuck. I guess. I don't know." Well.

Two's a crowd and three's a party!: Have you participated in a threesome? Any more than three? Would you be interested in inviting more people?

"Definitely done more than three. That was. An experience. But. ... Like. Inviting someone with--? No." Well then.

Swinger: Ever traded partners before?

"Nope." Simple as that.

BJ: Swallow or spit? What do you prefer?

"Swallow. That's an easy one. Do people actually just. Spit it out or. What the fuck." Felix.

Porn Collection: Do you watch porn? Do you make your own porn?

"Sometimes. And. ... Define make your own porn, because that video could possibly count."

Vibrator: Use any toys? Have a favorite?

"Yes. And also, yes." Well alright.

Tempo: Sweet and slow or hard and fast?

"Slow. Sweet and. Slow." He. Shifts a bit at that one. Like he's embarrassed to say it.

Sheets: Are silk sheets sexy?

"... What?" Well.

Thong Song: Do you like sexy lingerie?

"Oh, fuck yes. I love wearing that shit, and I know it works for me. Especially when O'Malley has a skirt thing, then it really works for me." Wow.

Flavor: What's your orientation?

He just laughs.

Turn Off: Name a turn off.

"Calling me. Bad. Names. Don't do that." Oh.

Frequency: How many times do you have relations in a week?

"... Probably a lot less than I used to." Good.

Heart and Soul: Is love important when you have sex?

"... I think that depends. If I want the experience to be meaningful. ... Aka with Locus or O'Malley. Then. Yes. Anyone else? Not really." Wow.

French Maid: Do you roleplay in bed?

"Uh. No. Haven't in a long time, actually. Not sure if I was into it."

Takeout: Do you and your partner "eat out" often?

"What. No." Well.

Trouser Snake: Does size matter? Is it big?

"Guess not, no. I like it. But it doesn't matter. And. I'm not. Locus is, though." Wow.

Meow: Shaved or natural?

Shrug.

Gossip: Do you sleep and tell?

"If it's Locus or O'Malley, no. I tend not to talk about my time when them because. Yeah. Anyone else? Sure."

First Time: Who was your first time with?

"... I don't know. I don't remember." Huh. Ouch.

Keep it Down!: Are you loud when you make love?