Dyke to watch out for, Jew for Palestine

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

sims 4 patch notes will be like “fixed an issue where harvesting carrots caused toddlers to explode” then you load the game and all your sims are bald

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

Well. You do. So do you like your posts a lot more than everyone else?

I like my posts the most anyone has ever liked anything

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem

The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys

reverse parasocial relationship: your idol knows everything about you

actually I need to elaborate that this is inspired by my friend telling me about how the contestants on love island are cut off from the outside world but the show keeps inviting famous guest hosts who have kept up with it so from their perspective megan Thee stallion shows up and already knows who they are and is aware of stuff they said in private asides like 24 hours ago

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.