COLOSSUS

            𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 ?  what would be the proper payback for what they’d done, the slaughtering of so many people, the destruction of his home. would it feel good to do the same, to crush her hometown, destroy familiar streets and fill happy memories with ash and blood ? he knows it wouldn’t  -  think, were you happy when you destroyed the port ? did the faces of those you killed bring you comfort ? no, no - he sees them in his nightmares.    ‘  i don’t want revenge.  ‘

          𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎, 𝚢𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚔𝚎.  perfectly and fully conscious, even as blood seeps from his forehead and into his eyes. his vision blurs with it, and for a moment, he considers ignoring jean altogether. rest sounds so easy, right about now.  what were they doing, again ? yes, that’s right. a mission outside of the walls. where had his horse gone ? dazed eyes look up at jean, head tilted slightly to the side in confusion.  a concussion, no doubt  -  he feels the ground shake with giant footsteps, and he realizes the severity of the situation.  ‘  jean,  ‘ he starts, voice shaky with his shock.  ‘  you should go.  ‘

               𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑  strands of dark hair, a comforting and practiced gesture. their closeness was natural, the way her head fits so comfortably atop his thigh, the way he smiles at the worn pages of the book she’s handed up to him. there’s a crack of lightning outside, the sound of waves whipping against the rocks on the outcropping of the shore. armin is not bothered by the sound - there is nothing that can hurt them here. still, he obliges, but not before a swift press of lips against the back of her knuckles.  ‘  sure.  ‘

——- Time. There is the whole problem, isn’t it. Her smile waivers on her lips, though she does not avert his gaze, blue and troubled like lake waters during a hail. Sasha has never been the sharpest tool in the shed, never been the most quick-witted of their merry band of misfits soldiers, but even she can guess Armin’s torment to be manifold. It is not just him, or him and Mikasa, that he must think about now. It’s all of them. Time… she lets that sink in, just like Marleyan ships had sunk in the harbour. 

“I don’t know. I guess we do. Less than we would hope for, more than we thought we did. They still haven’t bombarded us, so there’s your silver lining.” She muses. “What about Eren? What does he think?” Eren had seemed… different, lately. Or maybe different wasn’t quite the right word. Changed, perhaps; like a tree growing in unexpected ways, unanticipated. Sometimes concerning. 

            𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔, 𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 ?  if anyone knows what eren thinks, it should be him. that’s how it’s always been, armin & mikasa just know him. know his thoughts, his plans, his inner workings. but not anymore - something twists painfully in his stomach when he realizes it. he doesn’t know what eren thinks. armin hums quietly, collecting his thoughts as he avoids sasha’s eyes.