Mackenzie

me finally getting a therapist bc i’m sick of always being so depressed and anxious but carefully not telling them about my eating disorder yet bc i’m still too fat to recover:

Today, I learned an important lesson from my therapist.

“I don’t miss you precisely. I miss having something to do on Friday nights, and someone’s arms to crawl into. I miss being a part of an us. And that’s an awful reason to hold on - being so afraid of being with yourself that you’ll give yourself to anyone else. We always hurt more than we healed and yet, I still find myself missing you. Loneliness takes us places that love doesn’t.”

Νever let your loneliness

“You are truly beautiful; I get so lost in those deep brown eyes. But this is me deciding that I am worth more than this, that your beauty isn’t enough. You see, I want to be adored.”

My family: Are you ok?

“And when I’m older, and people ask me about the people I’ve met in life, you are probably the first one who goes through my mind. And I’ll explain that you were the most bittersweet love of my life I’ve ever met.”