MedSchooled

I recently did everything I needed for the upcoming match. Application in, letters of recommendation in, all set... just waiting on one thing. I was nervous but super excited.

I failed that one thing. I can't participate in the match this year and I have to wait till next year. I can't couples match. Everything has changed with one test.

I feel broken. I don't want to move. I don't want to go in or do anything except sleep. Each time I am reminded of what happened, it feels like I am getting punched in the stomach. I don't know how to move forward.

It's not like my goals are gone, but I'm one more year (maybe more) behind where I want to be. My relationship may not survive. I feel crushed.

Hi there, Thomas! 

First, Congratulations! Medical school is both a rewarding and challenging experience. Hopefully you find it’s worth it. :) 

There are a MILLION resources for medicine. You will find your resources change with each year and each subject. Once you get into your third year, I’d recommend looking at rotation specific resources. There are many blogs out there where people have taken the time to go through beneficial resources, as well as do’s and don’ts for each rotation. 

You also need to find what works for you. If you’re a visual learner, something like Picmonic might work better for you. If you like flashcards the Anki flashcard system might be helpful. If you like repetition but don’t want to make your own flashcards (something you can still do with Anki, but you’re asking for resources), then you can look at Firecracker or Memorang. 

The only thing I would recommend hands down is First Aid and Pathoma. Start using both right away. They are great for a general review, but there are also helpful mnemonics and explanations. You’re going to have to study like you’ve never studied, and sometimes things will be confusing. One issue I found was I wanted to make sure I had all the possible resources I would need. Ultimately I was overwhelmed with too many and thus less efficient studying. 

For anatomy, I particularly like Rohen’s Color Atlas of Anatomy because the pictures are of actual cadavers which made it easier for me to find things on my cadavers. When in anatomy lab though, I commonly used this while a friend who had Netter’s Anatomy... both have their pros and cons. 

Do you ever wish you could rewind time? I have this feeling so often. If I could go back a few months, I would do ____ differently. I get this feeling the most when I see the success of my peers. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I'm jealous of others and what they've accomplished. Especially when they make everything look so easy. I hate when I compare myself to others, but I've found myself doing it more often these days. Personal and family issues have put me behind my peers. I still have huge hurdles in front of me most of my peers have completed. So often when I sit down to study, do questions or take practice tests I feel idiotic. I start to wonder if it was an accident or a fluke I even got accepted to med school in the first place. I start to feel so stressed and overwhelmed by all I need to do that I start to get anxious and frustrated - so I try to push the feelings out, tell myself I'll get a lot done tomorrow and ultimately don't get much of anything done. Today was an all time low though. One of my best friends was scheduling an exam and when I looked over and noticed, it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. It feels like people are making laps around me while I crawl toward the finish line. Why would I ever feel jealousy or resentment toward my best friend in med school?! I want the best for him in everything he does! These feelings make me feel like I am a horrible person. But even when I feel some twinge of resentment or jealousy toward all those med school goers who have it so cush I feel like an awful person. Just because I don't have people who can help me financially doesn't make it ok. So I will try again tomorrow. I will remind myself why I'm doing this. I will try to feel excited when I learn something new and not overwhelmed by how much I need to remember. I will push on - I may or may not achieve my goals, but I will try.

Finished my last rotation/exam for MS3! Whoop whoop!!!

Wondering how many similarities between the many psychiatric disorders and my family/myself I might find!

Coffee went everywhere and there are bruises and scrapes all over my legs. BUT my white coat stayed nice and crisp and clean! 

I was relieved and off I went to my exam. Thought everything was behind me and my luck had changed until one of the examiners looked at me like I had missed all sorts of things and was certifiable. 

Now I’m trying to figure out which aspect was foreshadowing my exam... the fall down the stairs or the inexplicably white coat thereafter....